₦airaland Forum

Kukere master, Iyanya who is presently in the U.S got to meet R.Kelly last night, 7th September 2013 at a club in Atlanta. - See more at: http://marvelnaijanews2..com/2013/09/picture-iyanya-meet-r-kelly-in-atlanta.html#sthash.CmgZlJvf.dpuf

Facebook Drama queen, Kemi Omololu-Olunloyo, 49-year-old daughter of former Oyo governor, Victor Omololu Olunloyo known to make controversial statement is at it again.
- See more at: http://marvelnaijanews2..com/2013/09/kemi-olunloyo-want-islam-banned-and-all.html#sthash.qwCqzYbs.dpuf

http://marvelnaijanews2..com/2013/09/kemi-olunloyo-want-islam-banned-and-all.html

Watch the hilarious comedy below by one of Nigeria’s popular Comedian, Bovi
- See more at: http://marvelnaijanews2..com/2013/09/video-watch-this-hilarious-comedy.html#sthash.siqRGdMJ.dpuf


http://marvelnaijanews2..com/2013/09/video-watch-this-hilarious-comedy.html

There is a saying that 'cut your coat according to your material' but in Nigeria, there is that urge to outdo others and make major celebrations be the talk of town.

Penultimate weekend, Osun State was almost a sort of Mecca as many politicians and movie practitioners thronged the state for the wedding ceremony of House of Representatives member, Hon Rotimi Makinde and his new wife, Oyebanke.

The event took place in Ada town and for those who witnessed the wedding, guest were given five star treatments. There were assorted food and drinks served round to the invited guests. There were traces of class and style in the organisation of the event, considering that the bride is a beauty queen, who has a lot at stake and also to show to her friends and critics that she is now a wife of a federal lawmaker.

Banke, as Rotimi Makinde's wife is fondly called by her friends, is said to be 22 years old, just about the same age with her husband's first daughter. The lawmaker dumped his wife of many years shortly after getting to Abuja to make laws for Nigerians. Soon after, his relationship with the beauty queen became a public affair until they solidified it few days ago.

Information exclusively reaching Nigeriafilms.com from a dependable source reveals that the Yoruba actor turned politician is now broke. The reason, as we were reliably informed, is not far-fetched.

We scooped that the wedding gulped a lot of money from Makinde's savings. Some of the things used for the ceremony, we were also told, were allegedly taken on credit. Days after the wedding, we gathered that some of his creditors have allegedly been knocking on his door asking for their payments. He's also been allegedly harassed in his home town by those he's owing and he has allegedly been told that he can't leave the town for anywhere unless he pays the debt.

We also gathered that the alleged financial trouble started for Makinde during the burial of Tinubu's mother. We were told by our source that the lawmaker allegedly went to borrow the sum of N50million from a bank and changed it into dollar notes and then allegedly begged Governor Rauf Aregbesola of Osun State to take him to Tinubu to present him the token as contribution for his mum's burial.

This action, as our source said, reportedly took Aregbesola aback and asked Makinde why he was doing what wasn't too necessary of him to do, but the Osun lawmaker reportedly insisted. We learnt that Makinde decided to use the money to water the ground for his second term ambition.

Nigeriafilms.com reliably learnt that Makinde's father has many children and has allegedly not really helped them since his status as a House of Reps member.

Effort to reach the lawmaker on this story were unsuccessful as at press time.


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If you want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked”this highly-classified national secret to you.

With only some 50 years of independent national existence, Nigeria is a country reeking with “new money.” The overwhelming proportion of the millionaires and billionaires in the country are “nouveau-riche;” they became rich literally “overnight.” We are talking of people whose wealth does not go beyond a generation. Indeed, the fantastic wealth of Nigerian billionaires like Femi Otedola scarcely goes beyond ten/fifteen years. Not only does Nigeria’s wealthy few have a short history, they often have a short future as well. The money comes “miraculously” and goes just as “miraculously.”

In my youth, S.B. Bakare was the celebrated Nigerian tycoon. Highlife stars and juju musicians eulogised him in their records. But ask a young Nigerian today who S.B. Bakare is, and I can bet my bottom dollar he has never heard of him. S.B. has fallen off the radar and so has his wealth. It is not identifiable by any major industry or enterprise. His descendants may still be in litigation over the dregs of his estate, but undoubtedly it is nothing to write home about again. Certainly, nobody is singing about S.B. Bakare today. There are now new pretenders to his throne.



New dawn

Time was when wealthy Nigerians built something, developed something, or made something. At that time, the rich were truly captains of industry. Alhaji Sanusi Dantata made his fortune in the era of the groundnut pyramids in the North; buying and shipping them for export. Sir Odumegwu Ojukwu had Nigeria’s largest fleet of inter-city “mammy-wagons.” He also imported “panla” (dried fish) on a large scale. Sir Mobolaji Bank-Anthony had a tanker fleet and a pioneering charter airline. Emmanuel Akwiwu, hauled oil-rigs and supplies for British Petroleum. Chief Timothy Adeola Odutola produced bicycle tires for the growing army of Nigerian bike-riders.

But thanks to oil, much of Nigerian wealth is no longer the product of such ventures. Yes, we have billionaires like Ibrahim Dasuki and Mike Adenuga who can still be rightfully described as highly enterprising. But even more significantly, we have tycoons who came into wealth through “wuru-wuru” and “mago-mago.” These men are hardly Nigeria’s Bill Gates. On the contrary, they don’t have a clue what to do with their dubious wealth, and they are ignorant about wealth-creation. As such, they add little of value to the Nigerian project. Their praises may be sung today by their horde of parasitical hangers-on, but they will not be remembered for good when they are gone. As mysteriously as their wealth materialized, so will it vanish.

These men became rich through some of the following tried and tested methods, which can be relied upon to lead to one’s inclusion in the Nigerian Book of Irrelevant Rich Men. If you want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked” this highly-classified national secret to you.

1. Rob a bank

This strategy has gone through some transition. Bank-robbers used to be men of the underworld who held banks hostage at gunpoint and then made off with the cash. However, it was soon recognised that this approach has distinct disadvantages. You might get arrested and jailed. Even worse, you might get shot. It also became apparent that banks carry limited amounts of cash. Therefore, a successful bank robbery of this violent kind might only land you perhaps 50 million naira tops, which is not even enough to buy or build a house in Banana Island. There is a better way to rob a bank with far limited risk. Simply establish a bank.

When you establish a bank, you can rob the bank every day without a gun. When people deposit money in your bank, they don’t know that they are handing over their life-savings to a thief. You then rob the bank you establish in a number of imaginative ways. For example, you can lend money to your bank and then charge it a very high interest-rate. Better still, you can borrow billions from your bank and simply forget to pay it back. Or, you can use the money deposited in your bank to buy houses and then rent them out as branches to your bank at exorbitant prices.

This approach is guaranteed to make you a few billion naira until the EFCC policemen come calling. When they do, you can quickly fall sick, spend a few months in Deluxe Hospital Hotel and then relocate to your village to enjoy your wealth, never to be heard of again.

2. Join the PDP.

This one is a sure banker. As a member of the greatest party in the history of Africa, you will be given a credit-card to spend Nigeria’s oil wealth. If you are not getting enough attention in the party, make a lot of noise. Abuse Tinubu on the pages of the newspapers and call Buhari an idiot. Insist that Goodluck Jonathan should not only run for re-election unopposed in 2015, there should be a constitutional amendment to make him a life-president. This is a tell-tale sign that you are hungry; and the powers-that-be will soon invite you to “come and chop.”

As a distinguished member of this great party, the opportunities open for you to set yourself up for life are considerable. For example, you can start collecting billions for petroleum subsidy and simply not import any petrol whatsoever. You can get the government to change all car license-plates nationwide; and then become the sole supplier of the new license-plates. You can ask the president to make you the sole importer and distributor of diesel for the entire country. Of course, this might also entail that you become the chairman of his re-election campaign, to which you duly make a handsome contribution. Alternatively, you can ask to be chairman of the Nigerian Ports Authority.

Nobody will bat an eyelid when, within a matter of months, you have a fleet of cars, have two or three houses in Asokoro, and own four hotels in Dubai. You may even kick out your wife and marry a fourteen-year-old “Suzie” befitting your new status. You have arrived as one of Nigeria’s celebrated rich men. But keep your eyes on the ball. Don’t get distracted or carried away. The enemies of Mr. President must always remain your enemies.

3. Start a mega-church

This one is pure genius. Peradventure you lose your job or fall on hard times. Don’t go into depression. Just start a church. Make it a purpose-built church. Think of something that men need. Tell them you have the anointing to provide it. Tell them whoever wants to be a billionaire should come to your church. Start a few of your messages with “Thus says the Lord.” Then teach your congregation the everlasting principles of sowing and reaping.

Make sure they understand that if they really want God to bless them financially, they first have to give you as much money as possible. Create a special prayer group for millionaires and billionaires. That way, if they get any new government contract they will attribute it to the efficacy of your prayers and credit something big into your bank account. Tell everybody to give you their “first-fruits.” That is a code word for their entire January salaries. Then come up with imaginative offerings to collect, such as “prophet’s offering,” (you, of course, being the prophet); “Father, Son and Holy Ghost offerings;” “Jesus will do it offering.”

Very soon, you will be flying your own private jet to preach your gospel in Ilesha; you will be wearing white Armani suits and jerry-curling your hair; you will be collecting gate-fees for new years’ eve services; billionaire thieves and robbers will be queuing up to see your private-secretary on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway; and you will be inviting Bill Clinton to open your multi-billion naira Tower of Babylon in Osapa-London. In short, you will be living large. For good measure, you will also be slapping demons out of poor bewitched damsels with impunity.

4. Become a mule

There is high demand for this job. There are many politicians and men of timber and caliber looking for >a>mules; men who can keep stolen money for them, or smuggle it to safe havens abroad. This is a highly lucrative job because for every ten billion naira you smuggle, you can pocket one billion. Don’t get greedy and come to the conclusion that you can make off with the entire loot. That is a sure way to have assassins on your tail. Before they kill you, they will first break your legs. If you are caught while smuggling money abroad, you can easily escape and come back home dressed as a woman. Then you can get a national merit award.

If you are a mule for a president or a governor, you are set up for life. You will get 24 hours military protection so that no petty thief can come near you. You will get to travel all over the world. You will get free medical check-ups, so that you don’t just fall down one day and die. That would be disastrous, especially if your sponsor does not know exactly where you kept his loot, or if he does not have the password to the secret account you opened for it in the Bahamas in the name of Ali Baba.

Obituary
I remember the story of a former Nigerian Head of State who allegedly kept a billion dollars with a mule. Then the mule had a stroke. Every effort was made to get him to say just a few words, namely the number of the account where the loot was stashed; but to no avail. After a few months, the man died. This “national” calamity has prompted the review of the conditions of service of mules. There are now two new, strictly prohibited, clauses. Mules must not have strokes, and under no circumstances should a mule presume to die. If he does, his generations yet unborn will suffer for it.

(P.S./N.B. If you have perfected other Nigerian approaches to quick wealth than these, don’t hesitate to let me know. I promise to keep the matter strictly confidential.)

In a very revealing Un-edited interview with Chris Ihidero Pastor Biodun of COZA opens up on Ese Walter.Read below ---

Good morning, Man of God. Thank you for finally speaking on this issue sir.’

‘Welcome my brother, you are blessed. It is you I must thank for being very open-minded about this whole nonissue. I read your column last week and I must confess Nigeria is lucky to have people like you who still use their brain cells. The Lord be praised.’

‘Hallelujah. So, where do we start from?’

‘Let us start from the beginning. Praise the lord.’

‘Hallelujah. So, what was on your mind when you invited her to the terrace of your hotel suite?’

‘That’s not the beginning. It all started when I saw her in the congregation while preaching one Sunday; she was very vibratory, especially when taken over by the spirit doing praise and worship. Praise the lord. The spirit ministered to me that she would be useful in Pastoral Care. That was why I invited her to the unit. And she was very useful. Praise the lord.’

‘Hallelujah. By ‘very useful’ you are talking about your affair with her, right?’

‘No, we didn’t have an affair; we had an understanding. Praise the lord.

‘Really? Explain to me how that works, sir.’

‘Praise the lord. She understood that I am a Man of God with a weakness. I understood that she was a believer with an equal weakness. She understood that I was a married man; I understood that she was a willing woman. She understood that I could make her no promises of forevermore; I understood that she understood that by associating with me I would introduce her to a level of grace she was previously unaware of.'

‘Is this also the kind of understanding you had with others that led to your suspension in Ilorin and the 130 women you have slept with?’

‘Lie! Big lie! One hundred and thirty?!!! Haba, how could one man have done that, even with a never seen before level of grace? They just want to give my dog a bad name just to hang it. 120, I may accept, but 130? Never. When it is not as if I have a spare mobile penis that I charge with car charger. People should fear God when saying some things o. Praise the lord.’

‘Let’s return to her story. So, what were your intentions when you invited her to your hotel suite?’

‘Special deliverance, I swear. God sees my heart. I had heard some uncomplimentary stuff about her and had caught her looking at me somehow during Pastoral Care Unit meetings, so I knew I had to intercede for her to retain God’s glory in her life. Praise the lord. Even when I asked her to come to the terrace it was so we could get cool breeze during the deliverance. All was well until she sat on my laps.’

‘What happened when she sat on your laps after you invited her to do so?’
‘My weakness arose. And when we kissed…my brother, do you eat seedless grapes? That’s what her tongue tasted like, soft and succulent. What was I to do? You people don’t know how hard it is to pastor a Pentecostal church in Nigeria, especially in this Abuja! You are there teaching the word of God and what do you have before you? Gorgeous women with sly smiles; with breasts, big and small, chiseled upon their chests like those old wood carvings; lips like cherries; eyes speaking to your soul, telling you their desires. Ah, until you have walked in my shoes you are not qualified to judge me. Praise the lord.’

‘Is it true you had sex with her everyday for seven days?’

‘Zachariah 10. It’s a level of grace you can’t understand.’

Ask the Lord for rain in the spring for he makes the storm clouds. And he will send showers of rain so every field becomes a lush pasture.’

‘You know your bible. Praise the lord.’

‘Hallelujah. And what styles and positions were employed?’

‘One does not talk about such things but suffice to say we were quite experimental, you know, those things one doesn’t ask from a wife. Praise the lord.’

‘ So I’m free to assume missionary wasn’t top of the list?’
‘God forbid. Praise the lord. In fact, it was because of experimentation that we had our first quarrel.’

‘Really? What happened?’

‘She wanted me to use my silk ties to tie one of her legs to the door knob and the other to the window…I thought that was too much of a spread so I declined and she took offence. It was during round 4 on Day 7. Praise the lord.’

‘You know sir, each time you say ‘Praise the lord’, what I hear is Praise the Rod. It seems to me that you spend more time doing the rod’s work than you do doing the lord’s work.’

‘Who died and made you judge? Don’t make proclamation about me if you don’t want the wrath of God. I’m a man of God, remember? Praise the lord.’

‘Is this also why you’ve refused to explain yourself to your congregation?’

‘They don’t need any explanation. They know me.

‘We would have to end this interview on this note sir. Thanks again for your time.By the way, I don’t know your middle name?’
‘It’s Roderick.’

‘Say what?’

‘Roderick.’

‘RODerick? Perfect.

‘Praise the Lord.’


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One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.... Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Attitudes are contagious.

HAVE A BLESSED NEW MONTH

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There is much you should learn about the damaging powers of cancer as it concerns the skin as one of the most vital organisms that our bodies support, and it is with defending it that you should be aware of the effects of sun upon your skin, along with the ways to prevent yourself from running into harm from these agents that can be considered carcinogenic to your skin’s health. You should be aware of some of the symptoms of cancerous behavior before qualifying yourself as having cancer, and a qualified physician can help you to test for any kind of abnormal growth.

Many types of skin cancer are classified today into many categories that differ between severity of the growth and the particular kind of growth taking place, and there are many options for treatment once the ailment has been properly diagnosed, with any kind of medications being factored in. Melanoma is the most serious form of skin cancer, but can be one hundred percent curable if diagnosed and removed while it is thin and still in the outermost layer of skin. Once cancer advances and metastasizes or spreads to other parts of the body, it can be quite difficult to treat, and can even be deadly to the patient.

Melanoma is not the most common form of skin cancer, however, as much as Basal Cell Carcinoma seems to be through the affecting of 800,000 Americans each year. One out of every three new cancers is a skin cancer, the vast majority of which are basal cell carcinomas, and which arise from the basal cells at the bottom of the outer layer of skin. Until recently those most afflicted were elderly people, particularly men who worked outdoors, but lately that is changing as the number of new cases has increased sharply each year in the last few decades.

Squamous Cell Carcinoma is the second most common form of skin cancer, and afflicts the patient in the upper layers of skin, occurring even in the mucous membranes though mostly only confined to occurring on areas from exposure to the sun. Eventually these afflictions will penetrate the underlying tissues if left untreated, and it can be disfiguring when this happens, even spreading to other vital areas and organs becoming potentially fatal. When this happens, the signs are clear in areas where chronic inflammatory skin conditions occur, or can appear on the mucous membranes or lips.

The best way to be prepared when you feel the need to find out if you have the symptoms for skin cancer is to go to your local physician or hospital for testing, and particularly your own personal physician if you have one, they can then give you the confirmation if you have cancer afterwards or ease your worries if the case is negative for cancerous growth. Keeping yourself aware is the best means to prevent any cancerous growth you might have, but only effective treatment will allow you be able to help you dissolve whatever cancer you may have already.

Many attorneys don't leave home without it.

No, it's not their exclusive credit card. It's their portable cellular phone - their link to the world no matter where they are.

But the U.S. National Council on Radiation Protection recently released a report that found millions of people may be at an increased risk for cancer because of electromagnetic radiation or electromagnetic fields, something that cellular phones produce.

Cellular phones first captured the hearts of the hurried in 1983. Since then, scores of lawsuits around the country have alleged causes of action ranging from strict liability to nuisance, personal injury to warranty violations, worker's compensation to negligent infliction of emotional distress for the fear of getting cancer. None has been successful.

EMF plaintiffs, though, are relentless in pursuing this elusive cause of action. Their latest allegation is negligent failure to warn, considered by some to be potentially more successful in light of what they consider is mounting evidence substantiating causation.

Among these types of cases are a half dozen civil suits filed in Cook County Circuit Court by trial attorney Bruce Good-hart. All deal with Chicago-area people who have benign or malignant brain tumors allegedly from the use of portable cellular phones.

A highly-publicized lawsuit filed by a Florida man initially linked cellular phones and brain tumors. David Reynard, a Florida widower, sued the portable phone manufacturer and carrier, alleging they were responsible for his wife Susan's fatal brain tumor. His appearance on CNN's "Larry King Live" triggered a cellular phone scare that temporarily jolted the industry. The judge, though, dismissed the suit, citing lack of scientific evidence.

Many household appliances -from microwave ovens to sewing machines, from video display terminals to vacuum cleaners - emit low-level radiation to those in contact with it, which some fear may have an incalculable cumulative effect. But high-voltage transmission lines and cellular phone antenna have been called "currents of death," a silent menace emitting high EMF levels that some fear cause cancer.

Some epidemiological evidence indicates that EMF bombard the surface of the cell, causing a breakdown of the DNA structure, which can cause diseases from exposure. But nothing conclusive has emerged. If these fields do indeed cause cancer, it is by a mechanism that has yet to be uncovered. And given the gestation period for most cancers, it may be some time before the true effects are known.

The cellular phone industry itself reportedly is spending $25 million in research on the impact of EMF. In this post-Daubert era, while plaintiffs may be forced to overcome a junk science objection, defendants may have to justify the incestuousness of the industry's funding its own research.

A bill was introduced in 1993 by Rep. Al Salvi, R-Wauconda, in the Illinois House of Representatives calling for the Illinois Commerce Commission to study the potential health effects of EMF. But H.B. 1084 died in the Health and Environment Committee.

Information needed to understand these physical properties and their effects would fill a college physics textbook. But, simply put, electricity passes through a wire, creating electric and magnetic fields that travel in waves. Cellular phones send their signals using very small bursts of high-frequency electromagnetic waves, or microwaves. The frequency of the power is measured in hertz. A megahertz is 1,000 times the power of a hertz.

The frequency of a specific EMF determines its position within the electromagnetic spectrum. Ionizing radiation such as X-rays are at the high end of the spectrum and have the ability to break molecular bonds, including those in human DNA. Radio frequencies and household current are further down the spectrum.

For example, a hair dryer, electric shaver, even a power line emits a maximum of 60 hertz. A cordless phone emits approximately 50 megahertz. But a portable cellular phone emits about 835 megahertz.

Because of society's widespread use of electricity, causation of injuries is nearly impossible to prove from power line exposure. But portable phones are considered an increased risk because of the proximity, strength, duration and amount of EMF exposure.

With 22 million cellular phones in the country and thousands more added each day, some predict EMF may be the mass toxic tort of the 21st century, similar to the asbestos and tobacco crises. A group of plaintiffs lawyers from around the country has galvanized to form Electromagnetic Radiation Case Evaluation Team, an organization which has built a computerized database of EMF experts and which screens potential personal injury cases.

Some insurers for utilities and electrical product manufacturers are bracing for a potential surge of litigation by denying coverage through a pollution exclusion. But some experts predict that state-of-the-art technology will soon produce devices that make EMF exposure obsolete.

In the meantime, Americans cannot become unwired over this potential environmental hazard until scientists conclusively identify and evaluate all of the potential risks, lest the wireless revolution literally goes to our heads.



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