₦airaland Forum

This is something I think many Nigerians living abroad need to talk about honestly.

You live in the UK, Canada, USA, Australia or somewhere else.

Every month, you send money home.

You pay Mum’s bills.

You buy Dad’s medications.

You send money for food.

You contribute to hospital expenses.

You call regularly.

From your perspective, you are doing everything you possibly can.

But then ask yourself one uncomfortable question:

Who is actually looking after your parents when you are not there?

Because sending money is not the same thing as providing care.

Who notices that Mum has started struggling to walk?

Who knows that Dad fell in the bathroom last week?

Who makes sure medications are taken correctly?

Who notices when your parent stops eating properly?

Who takes them to the hospital when something suddenly happens?

Who stays with them after they are discharged?

And who notices those small changes that you may never see during a 10-minute WhatsApp video call?

This becomes even more complicated when the children living in Nigeria are also working, raising their own children and dealing with their own responsibilities.

Sometimes everybody loves the parents.

Everybody contributes.

But nobody is actually available every day.

And this is where many families eventually find themselves asking:

“Do we need someone to provide regular care?”

That could mean a trusted family member, trained caregiver, nurse, homecare service, or depending on the parent’s condition a suitable residential care arrangement.

I don’t think there is one solution for every Nigerian family.

Some elderly parents are perfectly capable of living independently.

Others may need only a few hours of assistance each day.

Some need much more support because of illness, disability, dementia, stroke recovery or reduced mobility.

The important thing is recognising when the situation has changed.

So I want to ask Nigerians living abroad:

How do you currently care for your elderly parents in Nigeria?

Do you:

1. Send money and rely on relatives?
2. Have a sibling living nearby?
3. Employ a domestic worker?
4. Have a trained caregiver?
5. Have a nurse checking on them?
6. Bring them to live with another family member?
7. Consider a care home?
8. Or simply manage everything remotely?

And if you have already faced this situation, what do you wish you had arranged earlier?

Let’s hear the honest experiences—the good, the bad and the lessons.

Because our parents can be financially supported from thousands of kilometres away.

But care is physical.

And sometimes, the question isn’t:

“How much money am I sending home?”

It is:

“Who will be there when my parent actually needs someone?”

There’s this thing about stories like this in Nigeria
, people hear it and simply brush it off.

I’m not sure this eventually happened o