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https://www.nairaland.com/1983333/secret-life-nigerian-teenager#27760208 hottest story on nairaland as of now....SECRET LIFE OF A NIGERIAN TEENAGER ..go check it out

https://www.nairaland.com/1983333/secret-life-nigerian-teenager#27760208 hottest story on nairaland as of now....SECRET LIFE OF A NIGERIAN TEENAGER ..go check it out

https://www.nairaland.com/1983333/secret-life-nigerian-teenager#27760208 hottest story on nairaland as of now....SECRET LIFE OF A NIGERIAN TEENAGER ..go check it out

https://www.nairaland.com/1983333/secret-life-nigerian-teenager#27760208 hottest story on nairaland as of now....SECRET LIFE OF A NIGERIAN TEENAGER ..go check it out

https://www.nairaland.com/1983333/secret-life-nigerian-teenager#27760208 hottest story on nairaland as of now....SECRET LIFE OF A NIGERIAN TEENAGER ..go check it out

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benega:
Interesting

Thanks boss

laykorn:
We're following closely. Please update.
Ayamlaykorn

Thanks boss, I will

Please, Ejo, Abeg, Biko, I need your opinions..... thanks for reading....

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PROLOGUE:
(Back in mid 90s, a young boy named Alesh
was born into a moderate and respected
family as the 3rd son and last out of 5 children.
However, he grew up to be different from his
siblings by doing all sorts of vulnerable things which often gets him into trouble.)

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"IN THE BEGINNING(Life as a Sperm)"

700 million sperm running into the oval like
Hussein Bolts on the track. A war was being
fought by the sperms running into my
mother's womb and I fought to be the last man standing! The story begins… (Aya, Gbishaun, Gbo, Gba, Gbim.)
"Yeeh my head o..."
"Haha, see all this mumu, na una wan be last
born shey? For here? I die!" My sarcastic life started back then when I was still a drop of sperm. I'm supposed to be my
parent’s first child, but due to the enjoyments
I experienced in the womb, I let my siblings
come out before me.
The reason is that I overheard my mother,
when she had her first pregnancy, praying to God that he should bless the family with money, so that she and my father can take
good care of their first baby. However, I
sensed that my family is an AJEKPAKO FAMILY
and I don't want to come and suffer; so I
refused to transform into a baby. My mother carried me for 10 months and I
still refused to transform. DECEMBER 25 1993
My mumsy who is a typical muslim and an
Alhaja, went to redemption camp at Lagos-
Ibadan express way in disguise. The reason is that she had an X-ray scan, and
the doctors discovered that I wasn't
transforming into a child and so she went to the church for deliverance.
While in the church, she met other women of
similar issues; and while sitting close to another woman, I heard some moans while I
was eating and drinking the Gala and Lacasera
that my mumsy took earlier. "Aah, Ouch, Yeah, Come On, Oh Yeah. I'm
cummiiiiiing..."
'Na so I para drop Gala. Shooo! Na wetin I hear so? Who dey f*ck?' It was then I discovered that sperms are not
ordinary. The other woman that was sitting
next to my mum was Nnamdi's mum. It
happened that Nnamdi was having an
intercourse with another female sperm inside his mother's womb. *** Back to the story. *** "Hello o, can anyone hear me?" I asked
amusedly.
Suddenly, a voice that was similar to mine,
responded. "Guy how far, are you a learner? It seems you
just got into the womb not quite long."
I was still amused and I asked... "Who are you?"
"I have no name for now, but I heard my dad,
telling mum that I'll be named Nnamdi when I get delivered." He replied.
"Oh wow, I never knew we sperm could
communicate with sperms from another
womb." I smiled. "Well, now you know. I thought so 6 years ago
when I killed over 500 million male sperm that wanted to come out before me." Nnamdi
confessed.
"So what about the female voice I heard
earlier?" I asked.
"Oh! See JAMB question o...hahaha...don't mind me, I used to hear my mum say that whenever a stranger asked her if she's still
pregnant." He replied and we both laughed. He further told me that the girl that was
moaning is his reproductive girlfriend, and
they have been dating for the past 4 years.
Moreover, the conversation was cut short when the Church Pastor E.A Adeboye,
announced that the pregnant women should
come out for deliverance. Therefore, Pastor Adeboye proceeded with the
prayers and to my surprise; there came a
bright light like a fluorescent lamp. "Oh boy, wetin be dis, you too dey see am?" I
asked Nnamdi. "Oh boy, me too I no know o..." He replied.
However, the pastor and his ministers started
praying deeply; and I overheard them calling
the Angels to come and see through the womb of the women.
Not too long, I heard Nnamdi screaming very
loudly. "Oh poo! Angel Michael, wetin be your own
na, Why you flush my babe enter bladder?
Abeg leave me for here make I dey enjoy my life for here!" Nnamdi protested." I was in shock when I heard that. 'Could an
Angel get inside our mother's inner body for
real?'
I was lost in thought and not for long till I saw
a human shape coming towards me. Then, I saw Angel Gabriel. His eyes were as white and
bright as a Range-Rover Sport's full-light, he has a tattoo of Jesus on his muscular right
arm, his wings were large, curvy, shining, and
while his most striking feature was the Gallas
(Mohawk) he had on. "Hahaha...your father yansh, God don catch
you today. You want make your mumsy dey
disturb God to turn you to pikin abi? Oloshi ni e o.()" He said.
"Ahn-Ahn...Gabriel Baba, Tuale, Owo meji fun
eyan kan.(Greetings) Baddo, no be so o...you know say my parents
dem be Ajekpako and I never ready to go
suffer for that 'face me-I slap you' house wey
dem dey live. You know as E dey go now, you just dey fresh for Heaven, how everybody,
your babe, your hoes, your..." "Jesus Christ!!!" He cut me off; and
continued..."Ehn-Ehn, you wan dey whine me
abi? Shey I get tribal mark for face? Beside, na
who tell you say anything like LovePeddler or Olosho
dey exist sef?" "Aaah, see Jamb question o..." I replied with my tongue out.
Before I knew it, a thunderous switch of a
three-mouthed Kòbókò whip, landed on my
fore-head...TWARKCH! TWARKCH! TWARKCH!!!
"Lahillaha-Illallah...Jeeesu...Sango o" I cried
out loud. "Angel Gabriel, Iyalaya e." I cursed him. Without letting me relax, he took a new pose,
the type of Christiano Ronaldo's, when he's
about to take a Free-kick.
"Na me you they insult shey? I go nearly kill
you before your mama born you." He stated, and there came more whips.
On the other side, I could hear Nnamdi's grown cuz he was having a fight with Angel
Michael.
"Oh boy, wetin dey happen inside your estate
na?" I asked while in pain. "Huurgh...yeeeh...Oh boy, na Shawn Michael
- /Gbish...Gboa...Gbim/
Sorry, Angel Michael na him wan kill me for here o. E don flush my babe enter bladder."
All of a sudden, Angel Gabriel started sweating
cuz the power went out in the prayer tent where enormous amount of Air-Conditioners
were fixed; he probably might not have
experienced the heat before.
However, he stopped the beating as his fluorescent eyes was getting dim; and I also
used the opportunity to hide under my mother's right kidney.
From the other side, I heard Nnamdi
saying..."Please, not Choke Slam, no, no, no..."
I was surprised! "So E don reach Smack-Down
level for there!" All of a sudden, Angel Gabriel started searching the intestine and the liver area. "Oh
poo, NEPA don bring light back."
As the Angel got a inch closer to the kidney
where I was hiding, I took the courage and
gave him an H.B.K.(Shawn Michael's Smack-
Down) and he tumbled with a back-flip. What a great amusement..."Shooo, so I fit fall you sef and you dey form Baddo since." I
boasted.
He was in shock that my super kick dropped
him and he came at me with a blow; then we
started a Gidigbo fight.(Yorùbá wrestling) While fighting, I knew there was no way I'm
going to win, so I held his two wings and rolled on to his back. Before he could shake
off, I gave him a Back Breaker (Chris Jericho's
Smack-Down) and he fell inside the bladder.
"Nnamdi, Nnamdi...Hold his wings and roll unto his back, you'll get easy access to beat
Michael." I advised.
"Beta Pikin, Washere!" He replied and I heard him say "Rest In Peace." "What Wait, Wait, Wait...Na Angel you wan give 'Undertaker Smack-Down?' No go let Baba God vex o, just give am R.K.O(Randy Orton's
Smack Down) or give am 6.1.9!(Rey
Mistelrooy's Smack-Down)" I advised again.
"Oh! Washere, your head dey there." He
replied and the next thing I heard was a
thunderous sound of Mass-Destruction. "Oh my God! Nnamdi ti na Angel Michael pa. (Nnamdi has beaten the hell out of Angel
Michael)" I said in amusement.
Moreover, time went on and we both cheered
to the victory; but were exhausted and hungry
due to the fight we had earlier. Nnamdi taught me a lot of evil skills on how to
forcefully request for food, and the one I used was the 'Suarez System!' Nnamdi taught me
how to bite even though we weren't seeing
each other, his communication experience
with other sperms from his 6 years stay, made him explain in details. However, I tried the
Suarez System by first biting my mum's small
intestine and she shakes. I bit the large intestine too, but she only shakes again.
"Guy, E no dey work na, my mama no want
buy wetin I go eat o." I was frustrated. "You be mumu sperm, Bite am well, squeeze
your teeth, handle the kidney wellaaa, hungry
must surely catch your mama." He advised.
"E go beta for you Nnamdi." And I went for my mum's right kidney.
'Greee...yeeun...yeeee...' And my mum started purging.
"I dey hear am for here, I say squeeze your
teeth well, well. Bite anything, if hungry no
catch am, go bite her Heart." He advised; and
I got angry. "You be were. Make I bite my mama Heart; make she go get Heart Problem abi? Oloshi." I
got mad at him.
"Oh boy, are you a learner? Your mumsy no fit
get HP through one bite naw, I don dey bite
my mama for the past 6 years and if she don
take the Alomo wey I request, everything so settle." He confessed. "HP ko, Toshiba ni!" I hissed.
To my happiness, the kidney bite actually
worked cuz my mum excused herself from the
prayer ground and went to eat Amala and
Ewedu, my favorite meal. Thanks to the Suarez System. 5 hours past and Pastor Adeboye got tired
when he didn't receive any spiritual feedback
from the Angels; and he postponed the Night
of Deliverance to last Friday of the following
month. All the pregnant women left the prayer tent
and set to go back to their various home. I could hear several women crying because of
miscarriages and other pregnancy defects.
Their weeping was emotional and for the first time, I was
touched to start a kind conversation with Nnamdi.
I however persuaded Nnamdi through our
Sperm World Communication (S.W.C), explaining the reason why we should consider
our families current situation and cooperate to
transform from sperm to child. He disagreed to that, but when I told him that
we could be best friends if we exchange
each other’s house address, and therefore find
each other when we grow up; then he agreed! When exchanging house address, we both got
to know that we live in the same area but different house numbers. His house number
was Yaba-left, Block 666, while mine was
Yaba-left, block 419, position 69, behind
‘Missionary Stylist Saloon. ‘
In conclusion of 'Life as a sperm,' we were both contemplating on who to go into the cervix first, before we heard the sound of
Ak-47...Gboah, Gboah, Gboah... "What the Hell Nnamdi, na you mess? Jeeesuuu!!!" That was when I quickly agreed to acclimatize
and lose my sperm form to fertilize the eggs in my mum. I vanished into the womb with the
hope that Nnamdi also did the same, and so; I
became useful to a mother.

︻┳═一 I NEED YOUR OPINIONS BEFORE UPDATING CHAPTER II.
Copyright: Alesh Keem 2014©®
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***HOUSE OF ARTCESTORS™
***ARTSASSIN-NATION™
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