oarowosola: I met her sometime around April or May last year, and from the beginning, things seemed fine between us. Like every relationship, we both made sacrifices, and even though I don’t like keeping score in relationships, I know I gave a lot of myself into it. Over time, though, I started noticing certain habits and behaviors that became harder and harder for me to ignore. At first, I kept convincing myself that maybe I was overthinking things or expecting too much, but eventually I realized that I was simply becoming exhausted.
One of the biggest issues for me was cleanliness and basic responsibility. I’m not a perfect person, and I can be nonchalant too. I’m someone who enjoys my own space and doesn’t constantly need attention or communication. If someone is busy and doesn’t check up on me for a while, I honestly don’t take it personally. But what bothered me was the imbalance. She could disappear for days or weeks whenever she was occupied and expect me to understand, but if I withdrew into my own space just to protect my peace, she would become upset about it. That double standard was one of the first things that started weighing on me emotionally.
The first time I visited her house, I was shocked by how untidy it was. I’m not obsessive about cleanliness, but I believe there should be a basic level of order, especially when you know someone is visiting you for the first time. When she came to my place for the first time, I made an effort. I cleaned my house , mopped the floor, arranged the bed, and even bought small things just to make the environment more comfortable. It wasn’t about trying to impress her with money; it was simply intentionality. I wanted her to feel welcomed.
But each time I visited her place, the environment remained the same. One particular day, after she stepped out, I decided to clean the entire house myself just to prove a point. While sweeping, I found sugar inside the couch, rotting cashew scattered around, and several things that clearly caused unpleasant odors. I cleaned the parlour, arranged the bedroom, organized her bags, and put everything in order. When she came back, she thanked me, but I remember telling her that it shouldn’t get to the point where her boyfriend had to clean her entire house before it became livable. I told her clearly that if I visited again and the place was still in that condition, it would probably be the last time I came there.
Unfortunately, nothing changed. On another visit, the smell in the house was so terrible that I kept trying to trace where it was coming from. Eventually, I discovered a sack beside the couch she had been sitting on. Something inside it had gone bad, and the odor was unbearable. I carried it outside myself because I couldn’t understand how someone could stay in that environment comfortably. Later, when she went to make yam and eggs, I followed her into the kitchen and found another terrible smell coming from plates that had clearly been sitting there for days. Instead of cleaning the sink first, she simply pushed the dirty dishes aside and placed the yam directly on the dirty sink to peel it. In that moment, I felt completely traumatized and emotionally checked out.
Beyond cleanliness, I also started feeling unappreciated in the relationship. On her birthday, I called her early in the morning, posted her on my WhatsApp status, and celebrated her the best way I could at the time, even though I was broke. Yet she still complained that I didn’t make her birthday special enough. Meanwhile, on my own birthday, there was no call in the morning, no thoughtful gesture, nothing until later at night when she casually said she forgot because she had been going through a lot. What hurt me more was that I had actually bought her gifts for her birthday, including a designer bag and matching slippers I personally made for her. It wasn’t really about material things; it was the imbalance in effort and thoughtfulness.
I also noticed the same imbalance in everyday life. Whenever she visited my place, I was usually the one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things even while working from home as a shoemaker. Most times she would just sit pressing her phone while I handled everything. She barely cooked for me throughout the relationship, and eventually I stopped going out of my way because I started feeling taken for granted.
Money became another issue. She would borrow money and either delay repayment or never complete it. As a shoemaker, the money I receive for jobs is not pure profit because most of it goes back into materials and production. Yet I still found myself lending her large amounts from jobs I was supposed to complete quickly. Even when she paid back partially, it felt emotionless, almost like she didn’t recognize the inconvenience it caused me.
The final straw happened recently when she visited me during a very busy work period. She suggested we spend the night in a hotel even though my house was already comfortable, and I agreed. I paid for the room, and when food was ordered later that night, I still ended up paying almost everything despite already spending heavily on the hotel. The next day, after returning from the market exhausted from buying materials for work, I expected to at least meet food at home since all the ingredients were available. Instead, I walked into a kitchen with bread wrappers and milk sachets scattered around while she had already eaten without cleaning up after herself. I still ended up cooking for myself.
The following morning, after she made food during the night, she left the kitchen in complete disorder again. Pots, plates, and leftovers were everywhere while I woke up early to continue working. Rather than cleaning up, she sat watching TikTok videos. Eventually I had to pause my own work to clean the kitchen myself because I couldn’t stand the environment anymore. At that point, I realized I was mentally exhausted.
What made everything clearer for me was understanding that this wasn’t just about dirt or money. It was about incompatibility. I realized I was constantly carrying responsibilities that should have been shared. I’m not against people hiring cleaners or getting help. I also take some of my clothes to dry cleaners. But there’s a difference between getting assistance and being unable to handle basic responsibilities yourself. If someone who is meant to clean your house doesn’t show up, there should still be a basic ability to sweep, organize, remove trash, and maintain a healthy environment. I couldn’t understand depending entirely on other people for something so fundamental.
At some point, I stopped seeing peace in the relationship. I started feeling drained instead of supported. Even during intimate moments, she would make comments like, “If you leave me, I will haunt you,” and although she may not have meant it literally, those kinds of statements only made me more uncomfortable emotionally.
Eventually, I accepted the truth that we are simply not compatible. I don’t hate her, and I’m not trying to paint myself as perfect. I just know that I can no longer continue in a relationship where I constantly feel emotionally exhausted, unappreciated, and burdened. I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to argue, explain, or force things to work. I’ve already made up my mind that the relationship is over, and at this point, I just want to walk away peacefully and move on with my life.
What do you think? Be nice please
Google file photo used for illustration
The energy you have put in the relationship and writing all of this and still been in the relationship baffles me. With all this the relationship should have been over long time ago. Sorry ko
distinctwallex: I was owing palmpay and their total money with default charges was around 51k, yesterday I transferred a total of 71k from my own other personal bank accounts to clear all the debts including default charges, however I noticed after clearing the debt, the sum of #19000 was frozen, I called customer care to complain and the lady claimed that it was zenith bank that reported my palmpay account to have received an error transfer on Oct 15th,2025, she said I should send an email to palmpay and also contact zenith bank. I didn't remember receiving any money in Oct 2025, so I decided to download my account history and there was nothing like that, in fact the last transaction was June 2024, So is palmpay playing pranks with me or is it really possible for zenith bank to report that I received money when there's no such record on my transaction history. What should be my next move now? Pls anyone with similar experience and how did u resolve it, that 19k is very important to me in this govt regime o...
Attached is a screenshot of the frozen fund, I didn't attach my account history for safety purposes
call their customer service and threaten legal actions, case solved.
keemsleek: Who is more damaged, a single lady that has done 20 abortion or coded OS and a lady or a lady know has a child and you know her history? You marry a single and you later find out u married an expired olosho or someone who can't give birth again, and for ur info a widow ir a divorcee cos of domestic violence or one like u people impregnat and dump cat be compare to olosho single mothers or wayward single mothers.
Maybe the types of dingle mother you guys meets say alot about you. There are lot of hardworking, self dignified single mothers. The same way there are useless single women is the same way there are useless single mothers and vice versa. Just pray you meet a good and vicious woman.
What are the numbers? 95% of single mothers will always bring drama if not because of the husband or the kids, you can't measure up especially when it comes to disciplining of the kids, the drama is too much.
joebeckz: That’s a very generalized way to look at people. Relationships aren’t based on labels like that, they’re based on character and how two people treat each other.
About your feminist point, I don’t agree with that description. Wanting equality doesn’t automatically mean wanting control or fighting a man’s role. In healthy relationships, leadership and decisions are shared through respect, not competition. If there’s constant conflict, that’s more about the specific relationship, not a whole group of women or all women.
On single mothers, I understand the responsibility angle, yes the children will always be part of her life, but that doesn’t automatically mean you are “second place” or disrespected. A mature relationship is about accepting someone’s reality, including kids, and building something together if you choose that path. It’s not a trap, it’s a choice.
About party girl. I get that lifestyle differences can cause issues long-term, especially if someone doesn’t want to change. But again, that depends on the individual. Some people naturally grow out of that phase, others don’t. You can’t assume everyone stays the same forever or lacks discipline.
At the end of the day, I think judging people by categories like this ignores the real issue, which is compatibility, values, and maturity on both sides.
I live in a first world country and my ideology changed from the traditional views since I left Nigeria . Equality is big here and that has thought me to respect a spouse even more and earn equal respect. Life is even sweeter with equality, feminism doesn’t take the place of respect and love. It only asks for consideration , respect and to be acknowledged.
I'll agree with you to some great extent, but you see that single mother issue, 95% of them can't treat you the way it should be, it doesn't just work out.
Ameboperoo: All these market fires. I think there is something else to it. It was Lagos the other time now Kano's turn. And our fire services in nigeria are zero
Reality check!!! I bet you don't have their emergency number even if it's happening in your neighborhood.
What he said was unpatriotic but that is what you get in a country that is only concerned about sending prayers to accounts of senate members and othe top government personnel than people laying their life on the line, implementation of promotion arrears, benefits of fallen heroes etc will come 2 years after
SmartPolician: @the emboldened. That's totally untrue. Nobody is okay with a group that kills them. You think so because you are most likely from the South, so you haven't been in and don't understand the scenario.
What happens in the north is that they know the state cannot protect them so they seek alternative ways of making peace with their enemies. They seem to support those terrorists out of fear because doing otherwise attracts heavy penalties.
I understand you but come to think of it this way, these terrorists of a people are not outsiders, they are family to them hence, they sympathise with them, enjoy the proceeds.
franchasng: Why can't Nigerian military take the fight to these terrorists enclave? Why do they always wait for the terrorists to attack and then they repel abi defend? How long are we going to continue to defend instead of attacking them everywhere they are until they are completely wiped out?
Money, the military is heavily benefiting from the insurgency, no offensive attack. Meanwhile we have agencies like remote sensing wasting. Nigeria is a Joke
adams123: I was wondering when people were hyping him then because the person that was a CDS for over 2 years without positive result, what do you think that same fellow will achieve as a minister, fingers crossed
Immediately he was announced, a northern elite told him that he is a political appointee now as such he should behave like one,he has the will power but as usual politics comes to play, is the presidency willing to sacrifice his seat to set things right? When the head is sick, what do you expect will happen to the whole body.
seunlayi: This is very good, it will make them brace up for future emergencies knowing fully well that they will get something worse than chasing the next time they are late
You don't even have Fire Service numbers, so why blame them for something you're guilty of?
Late payment of salaries should be added to the list as it is becoming a norm to pay late, imagine celebrating independence Day without workers being paid.
Video shows Kogi state minority leader representing Yagba West Local government, Hon. Idowu ibikunle supporting his constituents with one motorcycle tyre each.
"Congratulations," community members are heard saying to the recipients as they accepted the tyre and bowed to the lawmaker to show their gratitude.
This exercise has sparked outrage, with Nigerians asking how it would better the life of the recipients.
Tackling fire Incidents at the incipient stage saves a lot, if you watch what happened at Peter Obi's shopping mall, you'll understand. The sales people were just runn up and down with no knowledge to use a fire extinguisher.ing up and Dow when the fire started, no
Romance › Re: I Cleaned My Girlfriend’s House And Instantly Wanted To Break Up by Amandatom: 6:21am On May 24
