₦airaland Forum

Hello Everyone,

My mother was recently denied a visiting visa due to a lack of strong home ties. She is over 60 years old and has never traveled outside the country. I am currently a permanent resident and stated in the application that I would be sponsoring her trip. She is a businesswoman who runs a wholesale flour business. However, during her interview, she mentioned that they did not ask to see any of her supporting documents.

How can we better demonstrate her strong ties to home in her next application?

Hello everyone,

My mum’s interview was set for 6 June 2025, but the embassy will be closed for a holiday that day. I contacted them through the scheduling website and was told to reschedule, yet the next available appointments are more than a year away. Is there any way to secure an earlier date? She would have kept the original appointment if the embassy were open.

After giving it some thought, I believe he has the right to do whatever he wants as long as he can afford it. However, "I find it frustrating when people play the victim in the chaos they created" He has a roof over his head, feeding himself isn’t an issue, yet he continues to dwell on the life he once had.

He’s in his sixties, retired, and recently lost a baby with his new wife. I struggle to understand why a man in his sixties would even want to become a father, given the current realities.

While I may not entirely agree with his choices, he is still my father. That said, I don’t feel inclined to support his excessive behaviors, especially financially. Ultimately, I don’t have a problem with what he does, as long as I’m not funding his habits.

I appreciate everyone’s comments and suggestions. Just to provide more context: I have only one sibling, and I am of the opinion that he should be able to do more, given how flamboyant he has been with his spending. The main reason I believe he asked for the car is that my mum recently celebrated a lavish birthday (and he likely suspects I was the one who funded it).

When he asked me for the car, I arranged a meeting with him and my brother to discuss his finances (specifically how he manages and collects rent from his properties). Based on what I knew about his financial situation before I left Nigeria, I honestly don’t believe he’s in a bad position. However, he couldn’t give me a clear answer during the conversation and ended up breaking down in tears.

The real issue is that I can only afford to buy one car, and that will undoubtedly go to my mum. I am aware that this decision will likely further strain our relationship.

I relocated to the United States about eight years ago. My relationship with my dad has been strained and continues to deteriorate.

Background:
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family with both my mom and dad working hard. Everything changed when my dad started earning significant money. His newfound wealth led to a lifestyle filled with parties, women, and alcohol (to be fair, he earned his money, so he had the right to spend it as he pleased). He built a hotel and was barely home afterward.

2010:
While I was in college, I wanted to leave Nigeria due to the incessant ASUU strikes. I told my dad I wanted to study abroad. Initially, he agreed and gave me the funds to start the process. I was admitted to a school in Ukraine and secured a visa, but he later said he couldn’t afford to send me abroad. This decision felt contradictory, as his lifestyle said otherwise. (To be fair, it’s his money, and he has the right to decide how to spend it.)

2016:
I got admitted to a master’s program in the U.S. and approached my dad for help again. He told me to "cut my coat according to my size" and said he couldn’t sell any of his properties for the sake of a child studying abroad. (Again, to be fair, he was right—he had already paid for my college tuition in Nigeria.) Around the same time, he married another wife.

On the other hand, my mom sold her only piece of land and some jewelry to give me half of my first semester's tuition. After involving family members, my dad reluctantly gave me ₦400,000, stating that was all he could afford. I thanked him for the support.

Fast Forward to Today:
I struggled and worked odd jobs to make ends meet, determined never to ask him for help again. Over time, I’ve become financially stable, secured a good job, and am now a permanent resident. I give my dad a monthly allowance and occasionally send more during festive seasons. My mom, on the other hand, gets spoiled with gifts, extra money, and I’ve even invited her to visit and spend time with me in the U.S.

Now, my dad is broke and has suggested I buy him a car and increase what I do for him, despite the fact that my parents are separated and he currently lives with his second wife. I’ve told myself I won’t go above and beyond for him, especially since he chose to prioritize his lifestyle and the new wife (who came with a stepson). I find it hard to reconcile his past decisions with his current expectations.

Am I in the wrong here?