₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Girl let's not bullshit ourselves, money played a huge role in all your decisions, there's no point denying it. No offence to you, I'm just stating the obvious.

I don't like harmful deceit or messing with people's emotions, my advise will come from a place of not liking those two things. You need to end things with Tom truthfully, no more lies or drama please! Bite the bullet and face up to the consequences.

You are right to be afraid for your life, if you were overseas with Tom he will most likely kill you. I've seen enough true crime documentaries to know people snap and commit murder for reasons like these.

You are not in the same city so he won't physically harm you. However, your nudes are enough ammunition in his hands, don't kid yourself into thinking he won't use them, everyone has a breaking point when pushed too far.

You are your own problem and you are your own solution.

I would like to tell him the truth but I don’t want to hurt him neither do I want anyone to hurt me hence the reason I’m asking for tips on how to settle this peacefully

sisisioge:


This is truly funny! You are well catered by your parents but you somehow became a career yahoo girl! Isn't life itself so complex? Well done, let's hope it doesn't end as badly as you anticipate fa. Cheers to all your past magas that must collect some day

How on earth is accepting money from people yahoo, So all women who accept money from men are into yahoo?

fman:
Op this your Tom and Jerry post is bull cramp.
In-between you are a Yahoo girl but na facey you dey work

What is facey

I opened this anonymous account because I really need to know how to proceed with this. Before I continue I want to state that every single thing typed here is true and is currently my life story. Please, this is a long read and names have been changed to protect my identity.

I am not from a poor home and the reason why I think it’s necessary to say this is so people can give me a balanced advise without thinking money played a role in my decisions, my parents are middle class and doing well, I’ve never in my life struggled financially and I grew up with the best my parents could provide.

Few years ago I started meeting white foreign men online, I would talk to them, send pictures, chat and just spent time together. This slowly developed into these men sending me some money to take care of myself, this wasn’t a case of yahoo or leading these men on but they just simply provided when I complained about something, I took the money because why not. I would like to note at this point that I wasn’t dating any of those men and we were just friends I was also dating in Nigeria so for me it was just a friendly engagement with these strangers whom I’ll never meet, things also evaporated after a while and when the heat turned cold with these online men we would stop texting.

This was how I met Tom, he is a white man who is a shy guy who was new to dating or meeting women, he is a nerd. I’ve met and dated nerds before so I was used to the personality, to be more specific my type of men are nerds, Tom fell instantly in love with me, he slowly became obsessed with me and thought since I’m African then I have to be poor and struggling, I didn’t correct this assumption but instead fed into it as I considered it funny at the time.

We started talking everyday and few weeks later (I think a month) Tom asked me to be his girlfriend and we started dating, before we started dating Tom sent me money once or twice, nothing major just about 300 dollars or so.

Immediately we started dating, Tom started sending me money, I was in in uni and Tom began sending me about 1k dollars(sometimes more) every month because he got the idea I needed the money to take care of myself, after uni he rented an apartment for me, bought me a car because he said I’m too pretty to walk under the sun, paid for the furnishing etc I could tell he was in love but with his love came obsession, he wanted to always talk to me and I would give excuses, etc but I still provided balance because the money was quite sweet and I didn’t want to lose it, I do not love Tom in any way, and I believe I was giving him companionship in exchange for money so if he wanted to believe we were dating that was the little I could do.

I met Jerry a few months after uni, he is the sweetest most thoughtful man I’ve met, I instantly fell in love with him and he was the first man I had sex with, I spent a lot of time with him and we were so in love. I was still dating Tom at this point because I mean the extra money I was getting from Tom meant I could live extremely well, at this point I had stopped asking my parents for money and was dependent on Tom and the money I was getting from my job, I was earning about 200k.

I told Tom I was jobless so he wouldn’t stop taking care of me and I managed Tom, Jerry and my job well to ensure everyone was happy. I am also very big on my career, I just love money and living well too much, I like to buy expensive thing and I’ll rather not use my money for it.

Jerry was also taking care of my needs, He was earning extremely well, is a young millionaire so he sends me money monthly and bought anything I needed.

We are boyfriend and girlfriend and have plans to get married in a few years, Jerry has met my parents and knows knows about Tom but doesn’t care because he loves me and the relationship with Tom has been entirely virtual so he doesn’t think there’s anything there (to be fair Jerry doesn’t know the extent of my relationship with Tom or that Tom sends me money regularly) however Tom doesn’t know about Jerry.

I’ve been dating Tom for almost 3 years virtually, we have never seen each other but Tom wants us to see in a year’s time, he sponsored my relocation, paid for every single thing, I only paid for my visa processing myself from money I saved up, Tom also paid for my rent, and still sends me upkeep monthly. He says he loves me and wants to support me I don’t trust anyone so I save all the money he sends me for a rainy day.

I am still dating Jerry who sends me money monthly and we are planning our future, I want to end things with Tom but I do not know how to do it, I am scared he will track me down and kill me because of everything he has sacrificed for me, he’s also obsessed with me and has tried knowing my address multiple times but I’ve been wise enough to never release it.

I’ve thought about disappearing (deactivating the app we communicate on) but he knows my social media accounts and I really don’t want to have to deactivate my accounts as I struggled to build it and currently have a lot of followers. I also think disappearing won’t work.

Please, how can I successfully break up with Tom without losing my life ? I also don’t want Jerry to be aware of the complexities of my relationship with Tom, he might get very angry because Jerry loves me too much and gets jealous easily, He hates other men he perceives have feelings for me being around me.

Paying Tom back the money he has spent which runs into thousands and thousands of dollars IS NOT an option because he willingly gave me every thing and I will not put myself in a negative financial situation because of him, Tom also has my nude pictures and although he’s a sweet person I know will never do anything like leak it I really don’t want to take that risk.

I’ve slowly began fighting with Tom so I can use that as an excuse to end things but so far it’s not working. I also do not want to get arrested, even though I believe I didn’t commit any crime I’ll rather not be arrested and have my parents reputation ruined because they’re fairly popular.

I feel no guilt for this nor do I have any remorse because I did nothing wrong and I provided companionship in exchange for money which isn’t a crime but more of feeling greedy.

Please, I need tips and practical solutions not judgement. I’m not a saint and will never be which is fine.