₦airaland Forum

Just finished speaking with Mom and to be honest, my heart is bleeding. Is this really how she'll suffer in vain while hearing from everyone how F keeps squandering the money from the house?

She told me how she heard people saying F leaves from one beer Parlor into the other while she has my 4 siblings to cater for with just little that I am ND my uncle could support her with.


Is there really no Woman rights, female support or all these agencies?

What really is their use if they can't help at this critical time?

Assigned:
I'm just here to rant and rant. Not here to be judged or see anyone telling me how they'll care for their father if they were to be alive Yen Yen Yen. Idgaf!

As long as I've known the difference between left and right, and identified my mom and dad, It has always been problems.

I can't count the number of times I've experienced them fighting and almost annihilating one another. But mostly, it's my father who gets angry because of things that are unreasonable like food etc. all these heavily influenced by alcohol.

We were living in Lagos before Mom was relocated to our site in a remote part of the south. Undeveloped, bush, and she had to start hawking and selling tea to people in the site just to support us the children as the said dad still stays in Lagos and doing his bike transport work. He comes once in a while and from what I gathered about my mom, he barely comes back home with anything tangible like money or anything.

Worse is that we were living with His younger brother who was living in the site. Our own house has not been built and was just a bare land with nothing on it. So we were living inside my uncle's sitting room. Myself, my mom and 2 other siblings.

Like what the fvck really, what the actual fvck!


I'm just a young man and I've been emotionally, mentally, psychologically and socially battered and abused.


The most disturbing thing is he did all these and he is getting away with it. With zero consequences and I hate every bit of it.

I graduated o, finished with my first class, went for service, and praise God, I got a job. Started with 100k, got confirmed and salary increased to 200k+. F suddenly feels entitled to getting money from me. I mean he didn't even send me money up to 5 times throughout my university days. He paid my school fee.. 20k per session oo. But any other thing? He didn't give a dime!

The first endowment fund I got (50k Ooo) he saw to it that he collected more than 20k from it, bringing up one issue or the other, blackmailing me until I sent the money to him.

Now that I'm working and sending some cash home to Mom and giving him too, he keeps accusing Mom of blocking me from giving him money.

He said he borrowed money from bank or whatever, I don't know how true but it was 150k. I assisted with 50k to pay back and he was still blackmailing me to send more. I basically told him that's the max I could do because I can't start what I can't finish. But frequently, I send 5k, 10k etc to him for upkeep. Shey I never try? I still dey do for Mom too Ooo and a brother in university as well.

The said 150k loan he mentioned that is now 500k+ and the only thing he wants to do now is to sell the house so. He claimed he can't ride bike anymore and wants to start selling stuffs. But guy! He drinks alcohol more than anything! He doesn't even know anything about the business. But that's not my problem. Issue is mom's shop that is on the land.

He frustrated Mom to the point of breaking the house, puncturing holes on the hole to the bedroom. Myself and my uncle - from Mom side, had to rent somewhere outside for Mom.

There's a lot that has happened but I heard he has sold the house this past Thursday or so for 5 million. He has squandered 2 million from it and one uncle has collected 3m from him. I don't know why sha.

How exactly did I find myself in this kind of family? Everything happens for a reason but I still can't see the reason for me being here.

Around 2016 when I gained admission, to pay acceptance fee turned wahala. We begged, did everything possible but he just comes up with problems to spoil everything and he said he can't kill himself to get acceptance fee for me. Lol. 68k oooo.

Well, I had started hustling since I was probably 10 or so. Yes! 10 years old and I already had a barbershop I was managing by the time I was 16 where I get some cash to support my Mom... I don become responsibility carrier when I was supposed to be a young boy enjoying my childhood and teenage years.

Long story short, I can't calculate the amount I later had to add to my acceptance fee more than 50k in total factoring printing, transport, getting foodstuffs and all. F later gave us 50k sha and mum also help sort part of the food. I resumed school, no place to stay, just managing around the school mosque sleeping in the open. Studied like a mad man, had 4.8/5.0 in my first semester.... I Sabi book sha.

To survive, I was doing barber work after class. In the night, go to hostels, at some point, I did toilet washing too Ooo, washed toilet for someone, did tutorial at some point, started selling equipment at other points. Just anything to survive. I also did security job too Ooo. And I didn't get scholarship.

There's a part I interviewed for one ASUU scholarship then and one stupid scar face decided I'm not befitting for the scholarship and rather gave it to another girl who was on 2 scholarships already lol. And I was on first class. CGPA of around 4.8+ story for another day. I won't forgive this stupid university that also stopped paying the endowment fund for first class students. I only collected 1 out of 4 sessions. God punish you all that made life difficult for every trying person out there.

That went by and after some time, my junior siblings started getting sick, in short, we lost two of them but my Mom had our fourth born (now my immediate sibling) so we were now just two with my mom.

My father (I hate calling him my father now so I'd just call him F) had started getting sands and all to build something on the land. All of which were supported by my Mom, not sure how much financially committed but cleaning the place, getting water, and all that. She did this all by herself as per wife Nah LOL.

One thing I remember is that F starts unnecessary fights with Mom whenever there's a need to do something for the children. Like school fee, buying stuffs etc. the beating, destroying of properties Lol. But she stayed sha at least before everything scattered last month.

Unfortunately, as F was developing his house and Mom also contributed to build her shop on the land with the house which she had been using for some time now maybe since 2008 or so.

Till this year, the beating was constant, F's family are no better, bunch of drunks and stupid people.

I'm just here to rant and rant. Not here to be judged or see anyone telling me how they'll care for their father if they were to be alive Yen Yen Yen. Idgaf!

As long as I've known the difference between left and right, and identified my mom and dad, It has always been problems.

I can't count the number of times I've experienced them fighting and almost annihilating one another. But mostly, it's my father who gets angry because of things that are unreasonable like food etc. all these heavily influenced by alcohol.

We were living in Lagos before Mom was relocated to our site in a remote part of the south. Undeveloped, bush, and she had to start hawking and selling tea to people in the site just to support us the children as the said dad still stays in Lagos and doing his bike transport work. He comes once in a while and from what I gathered about my mom, he barely comes back home with anything tangible like money or anything.

Worse is that we were living with His younger brother who was living in the site. Our own house has not been built and was just a bare land with nothing on it. So we were living inside my uncle's sitting room. Myself, my mom and 2 other siblings.

slimjohn2k5:
Ur rent will also increase bro.

What do you suggest I do?

I need your advice please 🙏🙏🙏 long post but please bear with me

So I currently live in a "boys quarter" apartment where I share toilet with about 13 other neighbors living in the face me face you plus the rest of the BQ tenants.

The good side of the house
The house is just about 2 minutes from the main road (trek able) so I don't spend anything on TFare when I'm going to the bus stop. The area also has about 23hrs of power supply which is very rare to find in some other places in Lagos.

All of which are important because I work hybrid and electricity and transportation are major expenses for anyone in Lagos .

The bad side of the house
I share bathroom and toilet with about 13 other neighbors living in the face me face you plus the rest of the BQ tenants and the toilet is at the far extreme of the house. I pay someone each time it's my turn to clean the toilet and sweep.

I also share prepaid meter with everybody (about 15 plus shops) which causes issues whenever we need to buy units and all.
The house has a rule of always switching off the light during the day and putting it on at night by 8pm which means if I have to use light during the day, I either buy additional unit (which the whole house will use because I can't use it alone - no personal switch) or turn on my generator.
No water in the compound so I have to pay someone to help me with fetching water or I carry bucket
The neighbors are one of the most bitter people I've ever seen, but the landlord doesn't stay with us
I pay about 7,500 monthly on electricity based on this arrangement.

The situation

I plan on renting a room self contain (budget 300k max) around the area but I couldn't find any, other places are either too far, not enough power supply, shared prepaid meter, or even sub par apartment for high price.

So as an alternative, I'm thinking about liaising with the landlord to renovate my apartment, get a personal prepaid meter and also channel water from around the neighborhood. The budget which shouldn't exceed 200k.

Considering all of this, what should I do?

I need your advice please 🙏🙏🙏 long post but please bear with me

So I currently live in a "boys quarter" apartment where I share toilet with about 13 other neighbors living in the face me face you plus the rest of the BQ tenants.

The good side of the house
The house is just about 2 minutes from the main road (trek able) so I don't spend anything on TFare when I'm going to the bus stop. The area also has about 23hrs of power supply which is very rare to find in some other places in Lagos.

All of which are important because I work hybrid and electricity and transportation are major expenses for anyone in Lagos .

The bad side of the house
I share bathroom and toilet with about 13 other neighbors living in the face me face you plus the rest of the BQ tenants and the toilet is at the far extreme of the house. I pay someone each time it's my turn to clean the toilet and sweep.

I also share prepaid meter with everybody (about 15 plus shops) which causes issues whenever we need to buy units and all.
The house has a rule of always switching off the light during the day and putting it on at night by 8pm which means if I have to use light during the day, I either buy additional unit (which the whole house will use because I can't use it alone - no personal switch) or turn on my generator.
No water in the compound so I have to pay someone to help me with fetching water or I carry bucket
The neighbors are one of the most bitter people I've ever seen, but the landlord doesn't stay with us
I pay about 7,500 monthly on electricity based on this arrangement.

The situation

I plan on renting a room self contain (budget 300k max) around the area but I couldn't find any, other places are either too far, not enough power supply, shared prepaid meter, or even sub par apartment for high price.

So as an alternative, I'm thinking about liaising with the landlord to renovate my apartment, get a personal prepaid meter and also channel water from around the neighborhood. The budget which shouldn't exceed 200k.

Considering all of this, what should I do?

Cc Lalasticlala mynd44 nlfpmod, Fynestboi, olawalebabs, Richiez