₦airaland Forum

iyke484real:
Good evening fellow Nairalanders.

Something happened today that has really made me question myself as a man, and I sincerely need honest advice from mature minds here.

Earlier today, my younger one went to the field to play football. After some time, he came back home crying seriously with blood rushing from his head. According to him, he had an altercation with someone much bigger than him, and the person picked up a stick and hit him on the head.

Immediately, I became angry and asked him to take me to the field to identify the person that injured him. Deep down, I was expecting myself to react aggressively because I felt any normal man would naturally defend his younger one and confront the person strongly.

When we got there and I saw the guy, something happened to me. Instead of fighting or causing a serious scene, I just started asking questions about what happened. I couldn’t bring myself to react violently or aggressively the way many people probably would have. I eventually carried my younger one and went back home.

Since then, I have been feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself.

The painful part is that this is not the first time I have noticed this about myself. I always seem to avoid problems, confrontations, or situations that may escalate. Even when I am angry, I still start thinking about consequences, expenses, police issues, public embarrassment, injuries, and other complications that may arise if things get out of hand.

Because of this, I often withdraw instead of standing my ground fully.

Now I am beginning to feel like I am too timid and not confrontational enough as a man should be. Sometimes I feel weak, powerless, and unable to command respect the way other men do. I see some people react boldly in difficult situations while I keep overthinking consequences and avoiding escalation.

Honestly, it is affecting the way I see myself.

Please, I need sincere advice from experienced people here:

- How can someone stop being too timid or fearful?
- How do you become more confident and confrontational when necessary?
- How do you stand your ground as a man without always retreating?
- Is this kind of behavior weakness, or is there another way to look at it?
- What practical things can I start doing to become mentally stronger and more assertive?

I would genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from men who may have struggled with similar issues before overcoming them.

Good morning bro I understand how you feel, Ive been in your shoes and it ruined my self esteem and made me a target for bullies, The street is cruel to the timid, You must stand your ground or be taken for granted, If you continue this way even your family will resent you, Your girl will be worried cause you won’t be able to protect her, You have to stand up and fight for yourself, Most of the people you see are cowards they just use whatever they have to intimidate their fellow human especially their voices, When they yell at you they expect you to be quiet and fearful but my bro you gotten yell back or else you’ll end up having HBP from constant backing off, Don’t let anyone lie to you if you’re not capable of violence people will take advantage of you, I’m sorry to say this but you failed your brother, You were supposed to create a scene cause you have the upper hand already, Anyone would do anything to protect their family and that would have earned you respect from the spot, Courage doesn’t mean going to the gym, You can be a gym freak and yet not courageous you’ll only have the body. Learn to be vocal, If you can’t be a confrontational person you’ll have a hard time talking to the girl you love cause you’ll be too ashamed and timid to do that, You’ll have to settle for whatever you see. The street is dog eat dog but don’t let anyone eat you. Learn to stand up for yourself but make sure you’re right. Start by approaching women you see on the street, Yes that beautiful girl you see go to her and talk to her, Once she passes without you saying a word your level of fear increases. You have to face your demons to be a man being timid will get you nowhere, Don’t be surprised when they tell you girls love bad boy and that’s because bad boys stand for what they believe in they don’t take shit. I was bullied in secondary school cause I attended a boarding school Government college Ikere Ekiti where seniors will ask you to go fetch water at the tap using a spoon and not the normal bucket, It was hell but it made me stronger and tougher, If you continue this way you’ll never be respected, Learn to stand up for yourself, Face your demons, The more you face them the more they run from you, Fight if you have to but make sure you’re on your right. Grow some balls Brody.

angelboy01:
He's simping, the same thing Kaka did that made his wife send him away. The guys doing soft soft because na billionaire daughter. Eazi better stop all this fake nd gentility attitude. Women dislike men with this attitude or you go learn the hard way.

hmmm low budget alphamale

Truvelisback:
It is better to be married in your own parent's house than to be paying rent to a landlord or landlady except you have built your own house. To pay rent no easy.

You’re not fit enough to get married.