Just a random thought....which hurts more to be in love with a girl who you invested alot in but does not full reciprocate your feelings/love for one reason or the other or to be in love, date the girl she loves you back but then breaks your heart later. Girls vice versa as well.

christinie:
Sorry about that.

thanks and i'm not Amos lol

Kingsley1000:
op I see you as a very refined and cool dude, always striving to be nice and please girls that's why your relationship isn't worthwhile.you need to ignite some baddness in you

hmmm some badness as in ? pls explain

FunnyDude:
@op,u are a faint-hearted underemployed Mummy's boy,u really need chisos in ur life

lol mummy's boy do make the best husband haha

christinie:
Op don't mind the people criticising you here. Your heart yearns for true love, when you find it and it is mutual your heart will be at peace. Next time study a girl well to see if she is the type of girl worth loving before falling for her. I wish you the best.

Thanks.....appreciated. I do want true love. It does make me feel like a softy which can be embarassing especially when the girls find out. They take advantage of it

Didnt open up for people to shoot me down...advice needed not criticism

IamLEGEND1:
u are just a sissy....

nothing more.

Very productive advice

falconey:

[color=#990000][/color]

I know i have being taken advantage of well. Espeically no iv lol. I am still recovering from that

missdebs:
you need jesus

i definitely do lol

O

OK i will agree with your point and also disagree

(i) I agree that when you have relationship issues and bring them online especially Nairaland (from reading extensively) the overiding advice is quite rash. Breakup with her, she is no longer into u, she is shagging someone else. It happened to me once when i was having issues with my ex who i was in a LDR with. Very sweet girl and she showed a lot of love. We started having issues (mainly due to my own wahala) and she wanted a break which i didnt want so i kept trying to change her mind. I came on here and i took a terrible advice that she never loved me and only dated me cos of the abroad factor. He encouraged me to get closure by sending her very awful text and locking up which i did. Worst decision i have made so far in my relationship. So yes be careful when seeking advice online cos you are usually vulnurable and whatever people tell you can seem like the right thing.

(ii) I think when a babe cheats on you though and she wasnt raped you have to breakup with her though. Thats the ultimate offence in my opinion. What is going on with you right now is that you are deeply inlove with her. You should not try and make someone that cheated on you fall in love with you again. The relationship wont work.

in a similar situation now. turn between the norm of doing what is mature to my own inner feelings

stanvesco:
point 1
FAKE IT TILL U MAKE IT.....
Bro try fake dat u r a confident person.
Open a new acount,make mouth via dat acount,insult pipu,shout, toast babes openly...do evrytin posibu to garner atention.
With evry situatn dat arise,u feel dat overwhelming adrenaline rush,
d more u feel it,and stand ur ground,d more confident u bkum

Ok maybe I'm coming across as a proper novice but not true. I've done the confidence thing but when i do it I come across as arrogant which is a turnoff. I can also be overly emotional. The stress can be too much

martyns303:
The problem is that you are too conscious about your appearance, and my best guess is that you are really not that impressing in terms of looks.

First your height is not that bad, I have friends who are around that and are as confident as it comes. I don't know where in UK you are, but true most Nigerian girls in the UK are full of themselves.

I used to be timid too, but that was when I was younger, as a matter of fact one of my first topic I opened on NL was to ask the average height of a Nigerian male, cos I felt short (5'9", plus I was skinny. I managed to brush up myself when I went to the UK to study.

First you need to brush up your looks, dont get stuck in books, I have a friend in Germany that is just stuck in books. Get a nice hair cut that fits you, get good clothes from H&C, Zara, H&M, u know, they are not expensive. Dress good, smell good. Hit the club atleast twice a week, have a glass or two of long island. Build up your self confidence bro.

Cos I promise you, it won't only affect your relationship with women but at your work place too. During job interviews, they can tell you not a bold or confident person, forget your plenty degree, we plenty wey get am from abroad and from good schools. Just your certificate won't do it, you need to be able to sell yourself. Ciao

Ok maybe my message made me come across as a nerd but I am far from it. I dress really well, fresh hair cut na my thing. I used to go out a lot of time but it's reduced significantly. Now just on occasions. In terms of looks yes I won't say I am Mr handsome but not bad looking. Just the height thing has entered my head bad. I'm also not much of a sweet talker. Too official as they say. But most people do tell me that I'm not a typical PhD student cos I do have a social life but I'm just shy as well and low confidence.

Maamin:
Op have you heard of kwale weed before?..that shiii makes you walks into a bank and feel like you own it.

Lol then I will have to be high all my life

ibrams:
Pray to God, brace up and gather liver...... Just try.... Even do she go do u kusaaa(nail)

I try but just my nature I guess to not have the confidence. Do me kusaaa ?

O

Still woke up this morning and this shit is killing me. Probably from reading posts here on Nairaland. Should have come on here long ago. Although love blinders might need you to get hurt first to realise your mistakes. I really wanna get my mind out to her.

sailor1234:
@ op
I understand u bro,let it go,it's not worth it,don't send that text message.

Thanks bro, i have decided not to send it. You guys have made me see the light. Not very necessary. Its eating me inside though but i have to find a way to let it go

funshy87:
U can't forget her because i think u don't have another gal, dats wat happen when guys put their trust and love in just a lady, Alaye find another gal and am sure u will forget abt her, such is life, u are not d first person to experience dat, we learn everyday

good point...i am not versed in handling more than one babe at a time. I have to learn now. but i cant forget her not because of that but my ego and my mind constantly making me feel like shit for her playing me

Glowstone:
why onna dey carry woman matter for head no wonder she has no regard for u , as for me u only own a woman wen she is with u as long as u are not married to her

yes i dey carry am. na my fault. she just be one babe wey sabi handle me well.

People say move on but i dont seem to know how. It seems to keep playing in my head all the time.

handsomeyitayo:
OP see i have a gurl like that. GOD save me that i did not fall into her pit..she can lie and even she is an hypocrite..u shld undastand me nah as a wise guy.i too play along ..buh she can get a penny from me. if u luk as thz one i hav. she can frame thnz..if a man that is nt careful.u wil fall into her trap..imagine sm1 that told me she graduate from Auchi poly ..she work as a secretary to a private owned organisation. though she has big ass..me i don pound that ass wella.i do post her.and she is trying to impres me that she lovs me..with that is for her to get money from u..may be just gv me ur number.so i cn gv u much advice ..i wil write story about her now on naira land..

Very similar but me i dan fall for it probably because i liked her alot and was attracted to her and she used the fact that we havent had sex to her advantage well. I will inbox u. advice def needed

handsomeyitayo:
OP please leave the gurl joo,why disturbing ur life..thr are lot of ladies outa town..buh focus on ur life ambition or career ..thnk of making money ..they wil be d one fighting to marry u..get ur self busy..theze gurls go gv u hypertension..just work towards your planned future ..

Yea i know....dont know why she has gotten into my head so much. Maybe na jazz lol, or na pride or ego that a smallie mugud me up.

5minsmadness:




So basically the real reason you are pissed is cos you didnt smash her when u had the chance!

Bros hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehee you are beginnning to sound immature o

You already verbally abused her like u said, why repeat it?

Abeg I'm trying to be insane this morning, dont let me give you another lecture, go an do wat you like!

looooool.......ok i know how that comes off but thats not it. I am pissed i let her a mugun me up.

5minsmadness:

How is she a runsgirl?

No real undisputed proof but i have a number of circumstancial evidence.

She made friends with a ceritifed runs girl during nysc, she clubs (drinks n smokes), she once told me she could me a side chick (yes and i still continued liking her na real mumu button or because she neva open leg), i once told her a friend of mine got divorced cos she cheated on her husband and she replied by saying that is not enough reason. I could tell from her explanation that she was getting scared cos i told her i will never take that. She is bleaching and the way she went to church with her side boobs showing once (she came to see me after). All this just drew my suspicion. Add that to the fact that she was stringing me along - the good guy she wont let smash who spends on her regardless. Am i wrong to jump into conclusion?

5minsmadness:
@ayogun22,
The reason you are still bothered has nothing to do with whether u are rich or matured or any of those things. It's cos she still has your mumu button i.e you still have feelings for her and you are hurt by what she did. It's a terrible thing when u find someone u loved and trusted has been using you for a ride. It's hurts like sh1t.

The thing is u can send that text or not, the truth is if she still doesn't reply you won't feel better. I would advice you to send the text(yes I said it, send it) to let her know how you feel. However send it as a final text and remove the words slut etc. Just be honest with how you feel she has let u down and leave it at that. Move on. Such people are not worth it.

The whole point of this text is for me to let her know how i feel. i.e. cheapstake gold digger, runs girl e.tc. that it is her loss cos i gave her an opportunity whe she blew. I wanna cut her out completely buy because say i never even shag am he dey pain me die

LongPennis:
Mr Man, how many plots of land and buildings do you have in your name?

How many shares and bonds do you have?

Has your bank statement balance turned to phone number?

Can people respect and fear your parents because of their son(you)?

What is the financial status of your siblings? OK or still managing?

If anything happens to your car now if you have any, can you replace it with ease?

If the answers to all these questions are NO, then you need a brain-resetting slap if you ever remember that slvt of a girl again.

Why do people always tend to turn things to money making? I am very comfortable thanks (guessing thats why it was easy for me to spend on that slot). I get it tho and everyone maintains the same stand. Forget about her. She is not worth it. You all cant be wrong

CUM4WHAT:
if truly u got class u wudnt be bothered. A man wu knows his worth wud look back never becoz he must be clever..... Yu dnt have to publish ur achievments by d way what is yur company addr? Who is the MD?

Fair enough lets leave that out of it. The class thing just means little when a babe plays on your intelligence. Drives me nuts

CUM4WHAT:
help me tell him. Seems he still a kid and knows nufin bout class. Op has d gal made u achieve any of ur life goal? Move d hell on and start sketchn yur future ambition.

I never lose focus on top babes. My life ambition is fine. It makes me feel worse though that i let a small babe mugu me up.

onomeglo:
Pls forget it,u dnt need that just move on with ur life and think of better things to do .

Thanks.....i have been told that a lot. Just can't get over the smug feeling she might have on her face of being satisfied.

CUM4WHAT:
i got a ques and tink it shud answer yur ques.... Have you got class and worth?

lol...i do but it still gets me crazy