₦airaland Forum

A calabar woman went to see her doctor to
complain about the massive size of her
husbands penis ''Its too big" she said
"anytime we are having sex it touches my
heart", The doctor replied "Ok, bring your
husband tomorow and we'll reduce it". To
which the woman replied "ewooo, iyammi, lai
lai, tufiakwa, I want you to shift my heart up
a little",

A company invented a gigolo robot that
could satisfy any woman. They picked up for
testing three women: a Hausa woman, a
Yoruba one and a Calabar one.
First enters the Hausa woman. After an hour
she gets out of the room:
- Gaskiya, ya na dadi (For real, it is sweet)
!!!!!!
The Yoruba woman is next, and she gets out
after 2 hours:
- Oshei!!! It has the koko!!!!!!
The last one enters the Calabar woman.
After six hours she was still in the room so
the security decided to break down the
door thinking that the robot had killed her.
They found the Calabar woman chasing the
robot around the room:
- You liar! If your battery is out, how come
you can run?

lol see love play for here o

hehe u don loss me,,,

a Woman Buys A New Sim Card n Puts It In
Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her
Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In
The Living Room.She Goes To The
Kitchen,Calls Her Husband With The New
Number:"Hello Darling"The Husband
Responds In A Low Tone:"Let Me Call U
Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In
The Kitchen,

A warri man,a rivers man and a calabar man
were discussing how stupid their wives are.
THE warri man says my wife is so stupid,she
went out and bought a sewing machine and
she doesn't even know how to sew.,,,, that's
nothing says the rivers man,my wife went
out and bought an expensive car and she
does not even know how to drive! I got both
you fellas beat"says the calabar man,,, my
wife's
going on a trip to abuja by herself and went
out and bought two dozen condoms and she
doesn't even have a penis!

One night a guy takes his gurlfrnd home, As
they are abt 2 kiss eachoda gudnight on the
front door, when the guy starts feeling a lil
Hot,
With an air of confidence, he leans with his
hand against the wall and smiling, he says 2
her, ''Honey, wud yhu give me a BJ'',
''Horrified, She replies, ''Are yhu mad My
parents will see us!!''
''Oh c'mon! Who's gonna see us at this
hour'' He asks grinning at her,
''No, Please, Can yhu imagine if we get
caught
''Oh, Cmon! There's nobody arnd, they are all
sleeping!!
''No way, It's Just 2 risky!!''
''Oh! Please, please, Ah love yhu so much!!''
''No, no and no, Ah love yhu 2 buh ah Just
cant do it!
''Oh yes yhu can, Please''
''No, no, Ah Just cant, I'm begging yhu,
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs go on
and the gurls sista shows up in her pyjamas,
hair dishevelled and in a sleepy voice she
says,
''Dad says yhu shld go ahead and give him a
BJ or Ah can do it or if need be mum can do it
or even dad buh 4 God's sake tell him to take
his F***ing hand off the intercom!!'',

thanks guys,,,am back from my working break,,,lets continue d lafta galore

Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said 'I
have to talk to U We have some Nigerians up
here in heaven and they are causing
problems, They're swinging on the pearly
gates, my horn is already missing,they are
wearing D&G instead of their white robes,
they're riding bikes instead of the chariots,
and they're selling their halos to people for
discount prices. They refuse to keep the
stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep
crouching down midway eating sunflower
and watermelon seeds and smoking water
pipe. Some of them are walking around with
just one wing!' The Lord said, 'Nigerians are
Nigerians. Heaven is home to all my children.
If you want to know about real problems, call
the devil.' The Devil answered the phone,
'Hello? hold on a minute.' The Devil returned
to the phone, 'OK I'm back, What can I do for
you?' Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know
what kind of problems you're having down
there.' The Devil said, 'Hold on again. I need to
check on something.' After about 5 minutes
the Devil returned to the phone and said, 'I'm
back. Now what was the question?' Gabriel
said, 'What kind of problems are you having
down there?' The Devil said, 'Man I don't
believe this, Hold on.' This time the Devil
was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned
and said, 'I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right
now. Those Nigerians have put out the fire
and are trying to install air conditioners,

Aminat, and her husband, Mustapha, had just
finished tucking their young ones into bed
one evening when they heard a cry coming
from the children's room. Rushing in, they
found Ahmed crying hysterically.
He had accidentally swallowed a N1 coin and
was sure he was going to die. No amount of
talking could change his mind. Trying to calm
him, Mustapha palmed a N1 coin that he
happened to have in his pocket and
pretended to remove it from Ahmed's ear.
Ahmed, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he
snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed
it and demanded cheerfully - 'Do it again,
Dad!

Four guys were all at a deer camp. They had
to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to share a room with Daryl because
he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of
them stay with him the whole
time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to
breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his eyes all
bloodshot.
They said," Man, what happened to you?"
He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up
and watched him all
night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn.
In the morning, same thing - hair all
standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you?
You look awful!"
He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I
watched him all night ."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was
a big burly ex-football
player; a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast
bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"Good morning," he said.
They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man,
what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went
and tucked Daryl into bed,
patted his ass told him i loved him and kissed him good night.
Daryl sat up and watched me
all night."

A crowd gathered at an accident scene and
a smart and nosey journalist wanted to get
d story first hand. "Make way, I am d
victim's son" he shouted. Slowly d crowd
paved way for him. On getting there,lying
lifeless, in front of d car was a goat! Lol!,

In a competion to rate the best security
group in 9ja, Efcc, Army and Police had to
compete, by searching for a missing rat in d
bush. First the efcc started investigation by
quetionind all d plants and animal in the bush,
after some leads and some mnths, they
concluded; there was no rat. Secondly, the
army entered d bush and within 2 days burnt
down d bush plush d rat, wit no appology,
they also declared; no rat. Then the police,
after some days in d bush, appeared wit a
badly beaten rabbit, the rabbit was shouting '
ok, i agree am d rat

;Dthanks pals,,,,,am ma light this page wit more

[color=#006600][/color]
Mr death went to a guy's house 2
tell him he is the next person on
his list 2 die,
The guy waz shocked & he started
beging him ,but mr death said to
him that he has no option than 2
follow him 2 d land of the dead,
The guy said ok,but b4 we go let
eat & drink , mr death said no
problem ,
The guy included sleepng tablet in
d drink 4 mr death so he slept off,
The guy quikly moves his name on d
list 2 d last , few hours later mr
death woke up and said u r such a
nice guy 2 entertain me & 4 dat ,i
wont take u again ,i'l prefer 2 start
from d last name on d list ,
The guy fainted,

One day two very loving parents
got into a huge fight, the man
called the women a "bitch" and
the women called the man a
"bastard".
Their son walked in and said
"What does bitch and bastard
mean?" and the parents replied
"ladies and gentlemen".
The next day the parents decided
to have sex, the women said "feel
my titties" and the man said "feel
my dick".
Their son walked in and asked
"What does titties and dick
mean?" and the parents replied
"hats and coats".
On Thanksgiving the dad was
shaving and he cut himself, "Shit"
he said, the kid came in and
asked "What's that mean" and
the man said it was the brand
shaving cream he was using.
Down stairs the mom was
preparing the turkey, and she cut
herself, "Bleep" she said. Once
again the kid asked "What's that
mean" the mom said that is what
she calls stuffing the turkey.
Then the door bell rang. The kid
answered the door to his
relatives and said "Alright you
bitches and bastards, put your
dicks and titties in the closet, my
dad is upstairs wiping the shit
off his face, and my mom is in
the kitchen fucking the turkey!

A nigerian man trying to avoid
pay of
doctor's fee after eye operation
by
saying, "I still can't see"Dr. asks a
sexy
nurse to UnCloth in front of
him.He
again says "I cant see"Dr. tells
nurse to
open her legs. Again he says "I
can't
see"Dr. says : "{mother fucker}!!
if you
can't see, how come your DIç.K is
standing, LAAAF IT OUT!!!!@@lwtmb@@

thanks guys,,,,more on d way

;DAn illiterate woman boarded a
plane from Enugu to Abuja .
She was booked for an economy
class seat,
Just after the plane took-off, the
woman stood up and went
to sit in the first class cabin.
The flight attendant went to ask
her to go back and sit in
economy class
because that's where her ticket
allowed her to sit, but she
refused. She
had paid and wanted the best
seat.
Then the attendant informed the
junior pilot. The junior pilot went
and
spoke with the lady and she still
refused. Then the junior pilot
went to
inform the Chief pilot.
The chief pilot said, "I am
married to an illiterate, I'll go and
talk to
her".
The Chief Pilot went and
whispered some words to the
woman and she
peacefully stood up and went to
her economy class seat.
Surprised, the flight attendant
and Junior pilot asked the Chief
Pilot:
"Sir, what did you tell her?"
The Chief Pilot said: Easy Guys! I
just told her that first class is not
going to Abuja , only economy
class is!!!

a nigerian man, american man, and
an english man were travelling on d sea, suddenly d devil appeared and said drop anything in d sea if i find it am going 2 eat u and if i did nt iwill b ur servant. D american drop a pin, d devil found it and ate him, d english man drop a coin in d sea, d devil found it and ate him. D 9ja man opened a bottle of water and poured it in d sea and said 2day na 2day go find am! Lwkmd, 9ja 4 lyf

A warri guy enter a library wit de population of about 50 pple inside. D guy saw a very pretty gal, he approach her nd was toastin her. After some mins de gal got angry nd shouted gal: will u pls leave me alone so dat i can concentrate. , Everybody turned nd looked at de guy. De guy replied: i will not leave u alone until u accept jesus as u lord nd personal savior, Yesterday at 8:16 am

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" to which she replied, "They're up in bed." The little boy started to giggle, ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" and she replied, "They're still up in bed." Again the little boy started to giggle, ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" His grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed." The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed, you start to laugh! What is going on here?" The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bed room and asked me for the Vaseline, and I gave him super glue."

bush baby? Is dat d best you could do? Try hard,,,dont tell me you ve no brains smh

DONkollione:
pls send me credit

den i go laff

hohoho ur begging pattern make sense,,,continue like this and before you know it,,you will win world best beggar

a husband and wife were invited to a live show for
a question and answers session,,,,,d wife was given
a cardboard and a pen,and asked to sit with her
back to her husband and ,,,d questions began
reporter: sir wot is your wife's favourite food? man:
rice @@d answers was compared to d wife's own and it was same,,,so everyone clapped and d
questions continued@@ reporter: sir wot is d
colour of d pant ur wife is wearing? D man answers
red,without even thinking,,,,,,d answer is checked
with the wife's own and confirmed to b
true,,,,everyone starts clapping,,,,,,,,d reporter gets all excited and says,,,,,,''sir ,u must really love ur wife
to know dis little details about her,,,'' to which the
husband replies,,,,,,not necessary sir,i knew the answer because dat is d only pant she has,,(lol)