₦airaland Forum

Nice2023:
Pray nothing happens to her...I feel both of u are not have hearts to think that u will allow ur wide to sit down and someone would cut her open just to make her breast firm is even shocking.

Oga,are u sure u want to travel or u want ur wife dead or sick as a result of such dangerous surgery that requires renewal often ?

Be careful.

not risky actually. Medicine has advanced. Thanks though

Akpabio22:
Oga you too mumu I feel like crying that you even gave her 800k Chia it's better to really born a thief than to born a mumu. Oga your wife na olosho try leave the country we go Bleep her Toto wait for you mumu man. So you no fit stand your ground to even collect all her business money add to you 25m and travel. She's not a good woman na dead trap you dey so try do DNA test for the child. Ask your mumu head say her business and her surgery is more important than your traveling to make a better life for your generation. Some men are just nothing to write home about.

don’t cry bro, you obviously have not read through the thread. You even thinking of sleeping with another man’s wife tells how depraved you are. Adios. Dey look back when you Dey waka though

franugo:
Hello. I've gone through the post again and I believe it's an optional surgery from what I could infer.
Since it's a simple cosmetic surgery, she probably feels that cause you guys already agreed that she's going to do it sometime, it'll be better to do it now as cost of things will only increase in the near future plus if you don't do it in Nigeria, it'll just be much higher wherever you guys are going to....in her mind, she probably thinks she's cutting cost.

yes, she feels it’ll be much higher than before. Infact the hospital plans to review their prices next Jan/feb. This was her reason when I brought up the discussion again. My apologies I forgot to edit my original post to reflect it

kingthreat:
Relationship is a game. Most especially relationship between a man and a woman. Your wife is playing a game with you. Like a child who will be frowning because you didn't get him ice cream. Learn to play a game too. Do other hobbies. Infact, leave the house for her for some days.

thanks. Will try this

Kaycee54321:
The koko is not whether you're for or against cosmetic surgery oh, bros.

If you want your woman's belly to look better; then you have a very reasonable woman if she'll bring 6m and ask you for 2m.

In fact, na wife material pro max. Independent Beiby.

Your play is to bring the 2m and help in doing the body work. Because na still you go follow enjoy the belle after the panel beating 😁

Not come online and open thread to call your wife unreasonable so strangers can call her names.

give her 2m ? Did you read where I said we never agreed on this timing?

Mryacks:
To each his own I guess. From your write up you guys have discussed about the surgery even before marriage ( and you seem to be ok with her undergoing the procedure), the only problem is the 'timing" as she wants to get it done now....i thought by now she will outgrow that idea of surgery and concentrate on more importany things. Anyway, if it's not convenient for you now financially to support just stand your ground and let her know.

thanks chief

xrucifix05:
Chai, see heavenly revelation. What this your wife will do to you in UK, I pray you survive it. Anyways we are here to read stories.

you and who dey go UK? Una no dey read sha

kkins25:
This is one of those "women can do no wrong" nonsense. There is nothing wrong in having cosmetic surgery. It's because we can't afford it here. I don't believe in the nonsense "Everybody was made special" either. If your body has an issue you can afford to fix, fix it. So, why should OP be against the surgery if, indeed, he knows her belly will look better?

thanks for this. God bless

idahme:
The dude is correct to some extent; I know you are a woman and don't know anything about responsibility and accountability. If you know what it means to plan for sponsorship of three persons to Europe, you won't say this. Most of you women live life in a free mode to an extent where you can't differentiate between your immediate pressing needs and your Hollywood fantasies. You are bent on saying both of them agreed she will do the surgical work before they married but also failed to recognise that the discussion was based on the premise that she will do it after she is done with all her childbirth goals. If you were educated about the scale of preferences and knew what needs and wants are in economics, even if they had agreed prior to now, you wouldn't support her to deplete the man's savings for the sole purpose of doing something that has no direct impact in helping them bring their dreams to reality. If its that pertinent for her to do it at the moment, she can go ahead and deplete her savings for it, and if any woman I'm in with makes such decisions when we are in such a stage of executing our relocation plan, I'm done.

God bless you

Shikena:
Let her hit the gym. Also, she will have more than enough time to firm up before settling down to the grind when you relocate.

not something gym can do. Thanks for your advise BTW

Britishpea:
This one is a disgrace to age 30s. You think like a Toddler ?

Empty heads people. Who raised men like this abeg? Your wife is pure Olosho or maybe you are even a yahoo boy that met her on the street

calling people names because you have no contribution to an issue tells who the toddler is here. Run along

Godwin4444:
sorry to ask

I am married too but my question is

Where do u guys find wife's u can't control?
What happened along d line that men can no longer tell their wife's what to do n what not to do?
Where have men lost it that they now act like kids to their wife's?

Can't u just b a man n come out in clear terms u changed your mind n she shouldn't do it again?
Is it cos of fear or what?
Like I don't understand?

I am not a dictator but we have boundaries at home, even if my wife has d money I can tell her not to do something with a strict voice n she dare not

As in how do u people do it that u are scared to command your wife's?

Some marriages self, as in imagine u dey seek opinion on what u can do on your own

Cancel any surgery n tell her u don't have any money n she shouldn't do it again, u are a man for crying out loud, the head of d family

If u can't control your wife in Nigeria where men have power bros I can bet my life your wife will divorce u n chase u out abroad

Just go n write this down today

I get your point but I am not of the opinion that an adult should be controlled much less a wife. I think you should be careful too, no be by control or command. Thanks

CrossRhodes:
I don't have anything to add again..

Ok lemme add.
OP...to slap you dey hungry me walaii

I no sure say you fit try am if you see me though. But enjoy

LordIsaac:
The man himself is stupid. Don't tell a woman something from the beginning and change it later. He was the one who entertained such nonsense conversation in the first place!

please educate me on how I changed it please, unless read something else

Johnmiles11:
For this time,Una dey reason surgery,body way go die and decay later,Instead make una invest for naija,make money,take care of your home and live happy,Una dey think mum u things,God know say if I get even 10 million,my life,my wife own and my children din change,make Una no dey reason like illitrate again,e dey pain me

I no fit invest for naija, atleast not now. Because body go decay mean say you no go take care of your body if need be? Abeg stop that mentality. He get how you go get money wey this things go be smalls. People still dey do hair transplant and all

Akpaamunsi:
Don't be a simp. Don't allow your wife to manipulate you. If she keeps giving you silent treatment, then let her go and hug transformer. The brotherhood is proud of you so far, but no go fall hand o.

lol. Thanks my brother. I dey try not to fall hand. I pray say I win this one because I no too get strong mind like that. Normally I suppose dey vex but my vex till now but my vex no dey tey. I no just know why I no sabi vex for long even since when I dey small

Proserpina:
You have only one kid, are you done giving birth?

Are you relocating with your family or only you? If it's latter lol your wife is wise

Talk to her, acknowledge her surgery but convince her the timing is wrong. Aside your travel plans, you guys are not done with childbearing ( I believe you want more than one)

In all, I really don't know why your marriage is based on superficiality but then it's your marriage.

thanks

ukaface:
Nawa o
Things Dey happen for marriage ooo
Shuuuu

Cosmetic surgery
Well, you supported it in the first place so you have to see to it

But permit to say, you ain’t the one selfish
Rather your wife is the selfish one

If na me, the most important thing would be japaING.
Imagine the amount of money she would spend because of body aesthetic. Make she go gym, what the hell

Which part of the body she wan do the surgery for sef?
Which kind people Dey enter marriage nowadays sef

Inukwa cosmetic surgery
Tell her if you give her money, that is her share for the travel😂😂, anything that demands the travel as relates to her na she go bring the money herself and not you


Does she know the complications that come with those kinda surgeries?

lol..thanks

YoshihideSuga:
So, why do you want to relocate to Europe, let alone "a cheap European country" (I know it's non-English speaking since it's cheap)?

why? Nigeria no tire you? I'm so tired of this country. Yes, it's not an English speaking country but it's a stepping stone and a whole lot better than here. I cant even plan my life in this country, things keeps changing for the bad everyday

gsparks01:
My own is, Which cheap European country are you talking about?

there are many. Do your research

ShescreamEWOOO:
Agreeing with your wife for a cosmetic surgery is a low for me, that's if she Doesn't have any deformity.
The thing is, even if you give her the whole 25 million naira and can't satisfy her in bed she will still go knack another man outside so therfore, if you have weak erection, quick ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and want to improve your girth reach click on my profile and reach me on WhatsApp with the number on my signature.

go advertise your market somewhere else

Starz825:
U be mumu

Nobody body shamed her....

Read and comprehend...

Just like you quoted....the hubby isn't disputing the fact that there's an agreement for the body work....he is only saying this is coming too early...and a time they are preparing to move out of the country

So na wrong timing

He na no dey ever think....too selfish and entitled...just me and me ....chai

thanks bro. I wonder what he/,she read

Mjolnir:
women are largely emotional beings, while men are logical creatures.....you need to downplay the logic and throw in some emotional reasoning..for you to get out of this mess.

1. you guys agreed she wud hv her body done after you have finished having kids....----have you guys finished having kids??
2. what area of her body does she want to touch, stomach alone or boobs inclusive....abi nyash follow too?
3. women are mostly irrational and manipulative, and only respect the man the cant manipulate.....they will turn around to disrespect you, if you have made a stance...and then turn around to change it cos of their winning
4. you are in tight corner now...and if not handled properly may degenerate into bigger issues....especially as you guys are relocating abroad. you need extreme wisdom to navigate this and going forward...if you don't want your marriage to end prematurely.....unfortunately am limited by what I cud pass onto you here, but try and search for materials on female psychology etc so as to arm your self with proper knowledge.

any woman who uses silent treatment to express her annoyance, is still a baby...and may likely degenrate to starving you of sexs, food, affection etc.........

1. No
2. I've answered this


Thanks, she does that silent treatment right from courting stage and she's never starved me of anything.. I think she's just like that so i got to accept her that way.

Talismann:
very fuuleash man, go dey tell woman how much exactly dey account.
Ozuor

when you marry no tell your own. I pray you make enough to be able to hide. Adiós

Fahvvy:
These are all speculations chief, cause I don't think the husband mentioned a deformity in his earlier write up ...

And besides, the idea of a cosmetic surgery was her idea which she brought before marriage and in his words "I’ve always felt is a nice idea" ...

So the "insecurity" you spoke about isn't a husband thingy, it's something she's always had! ...

thanks, it's exactly how you have said it. I wonder how that person got to his/her conclusion

ttime:
Im one of those men who will say the wife is being selfish for not supporting ur travel plans and only focusing on her own agenda.

But after meditating on this ur write-up, I can see oga, you're the reason she's getting that surgery.

How did u even begin to discuss plastic surgery with ur wife before marriage.
And each time in the marriage she brings it up, instead of u to reassure her of her beauty and why u married her, not for her body, but for her mind, her inner strength, her gait, her industriousness, etc...
U kept agreeing with her on when to get it...
Meaning u agree she needs it, meaning you're also thinking her body isn't perfect.

Woman are natural spiritual beings, they read ur energy, ur vibration, ur frequency...


Instead of killing the idea, by reassuring her of ur undying unconditional love, u obviously have casted doubts on her physical body.

From ur write-up above, saying things about her boobs and belly...
Let me state it clearly...

She must have seen, if she doesn't get the surgery before ur move to Europe, she'll lose ur love to European bannies.

She's doing this to please u, and keep ur eyes locked on her, and since you're a superficial man, who still thinks a woman's beauty is by the looks, even after having children, well, she has no choice.

Now, to solve the problem at hand, give her 2 million naira to add and get the surgery done.

God will provide for ur safe travels. I wish ur marriage peace and happiness 😊😊

me mentioning boobs and belly was just trying to give an hint about the type of surgery. Cause once people hear body work surgery , they tend to think it's BBL. There's gastric by pass ,and many others

Thanks for your well wishes

Kaycee54321:
A woman is very sensitive about her partner's perception of her body.

Your biggest mistake was agreeing that she needed cosmetic surgery or what you called Body Work 😂

Flip the table around and imagine that your woman agreed with you that you need to "enlarge your p.enis" after you people finish giving birth...

You go dey feel say all her moans na fake and you go wan borrow money to hugify your preek ASAP...same way she's feeling her boobs are not firm again.

Na you cause gbese for yourself.


She even said you should bring 2m so she brings 6m...e don reach money, you don see say some things are more important than others.

Balancing, this is simple cause and effect.

Because you weren't emotionally intelligent enough to reassure your woman that you love her just the way she is and body work is not necessary, the effect is, she now wants to use small japa savings to look good while suffering in Jand.

It is what it is.

chief, I reassured her and remember I said this discussion started before we got married. She brought it up cause she wanted to know if it's something I'll be cool with. As I wrote in my post, she looks still looks great and I have never for once made her feel otherwise. She was scared of what child bearing would do to her maybe due to what she has seen it do to people and the fear manifested in her. Cause my mama had 6 of us and nothing do her. I didn't even know child bearing could cause the belly to sag and all.

Nicepoker:
That's the kind of woman you plan on relocating with?. She will throw you out during the winter Buy lots of winter coats you will really need them.

to each his own. If she doesn't you can come and do it

DiamondsAreFore:
What kind of cosmetic surgery are we talking? Hope it's not BBL?

no, it isn't

kingthreat:
Oga stand your ground. You are not spending a dime from the relocation costs on cosmetic surgery. Shikena.
Don't let the silent treatment put you off. You too give her the silent treatment too and spend time away from her.
When she sees you don't give a damn about her putting up an attitude over her wants, then she may re-adjust.
Warning: Wives like that are not the best to relocate with. Many abroad are crying and wish they stayed in Nigeria and kept their family.

my problem, I don't know how to give silent to treatment. It's really so annoying that I don't know how to ignore people

JASONjnr:
Op

You brought this upon yourself and now you want us to talk sense to you?

You agreed with her about the surgery and now you see it as impromptu.

Anyways you just have to discuss again with her and I don't want to believe that her desire for this isn't to look sexy enough to want to attract white guys to herself leading to divorcing you when you finally relocate her to her dreamworld...

please read the write up. We are not done with child bearing so it's a breach of agreement on her side not mine.

1x2x3:
At OP, the agreement remains after having babies then the surgery.
Are you guys done having babies or she will be going for another surgery after the next child?

Have you been complaining in the past about her body?

Here is what to do and as a family. First, acknowledge she will get the surgery done. Let her understand the family has 2 projects which is relocation and her surgery.

Tell her you want her to do the practical expenditure plans for the surgery and trip, break down every bits of what the relocation requires (the trip fee, rent, feeding, e.t.c). Make this very practice and let her do the budgeting as if she's given the 25M + her 8M to the planning.

There's something else called post surgery, more expenses would be required.

As a man, learn to be disciplined when it comes to finances as long as the plans is for the benefit of the entire family not for any selfish reasons.

You probably haven't been firm with your decisions on financial issues in the past. Learn to make bulk expenses when it is convenient not when she impulsively demand for it.

thanks. Exactly, the timing is my problem as that wasn't the agreement in the first place. You're right, I have not been really firm in my decisions. I have a very soft spot for her.