₦airaland Forum

Bryt wat kus ar u for?

ybnl994: Wat of me na??

lol dint u c 'odaz wil b highly welcomed

The Area Manager,
NEPA,
Lagos
Dear Sir,
[center]COMPLAINT
ABOUT YOUR SERVICES
[/center]
I am writing to you with a
deep sense of humility
and gentleness. I consider
this a great opportunity to
communicate with an
entity as awe-inspiring as
yourself. Firstly, I bring
greetings to you from
residents of my area in
Lagos.
As a dutiful citizen, I
consider this letter as part
of my civic
responsibilities. Great
countries comprise of
citizens who are alive to
their responsibilities. As a
famous musician once
said, "Ask not what your
country can eat from you
but what you can eat
from your country."
I have benefited
immensely from this
country; therefore I have
decided to give back.
I want to bring to your
notice some strange
occurrences which have
been happening in my
area. I want to sadly
inform you that in the last
2 weeks, electricity has
been stable. In other
words, we sleep and
wake up with electricity,
we go to work and come
back and electricity is still
running. This is a terribly
new and I must add
DANGEROUS
development in the lives
of residents of my area.
This is something we are
not used to. This is too
much electricity for us to
handle. In the first week of
constant electricity, I
started acting strangely. I
ironed all my clothes
because I didn't know
when "light" will be
impounded on your
orders. After 2 days, the
"light" was still there.
Therefore, I proceeded to
re-iron the ironed clothes.
My fridge which had not
seen "4 hours" of
constant light for months
suddenly started freezing.
In order to enjoy the
maximum effects of
refrigeration, I have
decided to be drinking 20
cups of cold water before
I go to sleep. Once I finish
a cup, I put the bottle back
into the fridge. After 10
minutes, the water cools
and I drink. I just don't
know what to do. All the
Ceiling fans in my house
have been switched on
alongside my AC. My
deck is playing at a high
level. My life is now in
state of chaos because of
constant "light". My TV
and VCD player are
complaining of high blood
pressure, as they have
been terribly overworked
in the last few weeks. Half
of my light bulbs have
gone on strike to protest
their resurrection from
blissful death.
All the customers in the
beer parlour beside my
house are complaining
that the beer is too cold
and wants to destroy their
teeth. Even the rats and
cockroaches are
complaining that human
assailants find it easier to
track and exterminate
them under electric light
than under candlelight.
All the witches and
wizards that regularly
visited me in my sleep
have suddenly taken flight
in the presence of "light".
Now I have to review my
membership of MFM
(Mountain of Fire and
Miracles) since their work
has been done. Can you
imagine what will happen
to the membership of
churches if constant 'light'
persists? No more
demons meaning No
more offerings.
With the above situation
not abating, I decided to
seek the reason behind
this strange situation. This
task was made easy for
me when I realised that it
was the work of
saboteurs. Sabotage is the
main reason for anything
going wrong / right in our
country. Our elections
were sabotaged, our
president's health is being
sabotaged. Therefore this
constant "light" is the
handiwork of saboteurs
within your work system.
These disgruntled
individuals are enemies of
progress who want you
miss your set targets.
These enemies want you
to score very low on your
KPI assessment. I realised
this fact when I stumbled
on a document showing
your Key Performance
Indicators for every
month. These are:
1. Explosive growth in the
amount of Candle-lit
dinners and balcony-
bedrooms
2. Massive boom in the
sales of Candles,
torchlight, generators,
inverters and lanterns
3. Increased work place
productivity due to
Employees spending at
least 16 hours at work
because there is no light at
home
4. Massive growth of
Rock music fan clubs
being aided by the endless
sound of generators that
are switched on
overnight.
5. Volume of human
blood being sucked by
mosquitoes unchallenged
by ceiling/standing fans
6. Incidence of heat
rashes
7. Large Increase in
Naming ceremonies:
When people have no
light at home, what else
do they do with their time
other than *******?
Sir, I strongly feel that the
above achievements will
not be possible if we keep
on having "light". The
saboteurs in your
workplace will make you
look silly and incapable in
front of your bosses. The
repercussions of this
charade would be
unbearable. This is why I
am writing to you now.
As a responsible citizen, if
I do not volunteer this
information, I know that I
will be the one to suffer.
The day you realise that I
have been enjoying
endless light for 2 weeks,
you will pay me back with
2 black months. The end
will be worse than the
beginning, thereof. I am at
a crossroad. This is a
major dilemma. Should I
keep quiet? No I won't.
This is because Evil
triumphs when Good Men
keep silent. Your
incompetent staffs have
left the light switch on and
gone to sleep. I know you
will take back all that we
have stolen from you but
Please remember my
house in the day of
recompense.
Your humble servant
Myself

When u help d needy u are also payin tithe.....

ginaliyn: Can someone pls list the documents and used for registration and also d process for registration

guarantorz note
afidavit of gud knduct
afidavit of non membership of secret kult
jamb admisn leta slip
jamb rezult slip
red background passport (40pieces)
birth certificate or age declaration
original 'o' level statement of rezult
state of origin certificate (local govt declaratn)
acceptance leta

Na. wa for all these
rich people ooo. I
went
wit a frend to visit his
babe frm a very rich
family. D maid
approached
me&asked
MAID: what would u
lyk to have, fruit
juice,
yoghurt, tea,
chocolate,
cappuccino ,
frapuccino or coffee?
ME: tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea,
Indian tea, herbal tea,
kericho gold tea,bush
tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u
want it,
black or white?
ME: white. ...
MAID: milk or fresh
cream?
ME: with milk.
MAID: goat milk or
cow milk?
ME: cow’s milk.
MAID: freezeland
cow or Afrikaner
cow?
ME: umm, lemme go
with d freezeland
cow.
MAID: would u lyk it
with sweetner, sugar
or honey?
ME: sugar.
MAID: bee sugar or
cane sugar?
ME: cane sugar
MAID: white, brown
or yellow sugar?
ME: abeg, forget abt
d tea, jst give me a
glass of water.
MAID: mineral, tap or
distilled water?
ME: mineral
water.MAID: flavored
or non
flavored?
ME: infact get me an
empty glass!
MAID: do u want a
tumbler, wine glass,
champagne flute or a
beer mug?
ME: abeg, free me, i
go swallow my own
spit..."

Fetus: tanx benkings i want 2 knw d admission status pls

lol..u want to knw d admisn statuz?. .. ...no admisn yet

Fetus: sum shud pls chek dis 4 me...username =putme2012_562554
password=5bAoteVb...tnx

screenin skore=38,agregate=46

[quote author=Kenswinzy.]Pls does uniben accept the combination of waec and neco result? Av just been admitted.[/quote]plz u kan combine waec n neco rezults.... .
NB.frendz pls if u ah nt very sure of a particular question pls dnt bother to ansa it.... ..wrong ansa kan cus hypertension

Adufaye: lolz lwtmb laf wan turn ma belle,hv neva heard or seen dat sha,bt hv u eva google d word philosophy?

its unecessary wen i knw d meanin ....

Adufaye: ok bt sori no vex,whic cus u dey read or u wan read 4 uniben?

fineartical philosophy....lol

Adufaye: Is der devil or evil in oda planet?

since life dnt exist in oda planet then i dnt tink evil prevail there also ,evrytin is made 4 a special purpose even 'evil' is 4 a purpose...xo it wil b insignificant 4 evil to be whr life doesnt exist.

Adufaye: Is der devil or evil in oda planet?

d 1st questn u shuld av asked ur self b4 askin dis question shuld be 'is there life in oda planet? '

IF GOD IS BOTH POWERFUL AND GUD, Y HAS HE NT STOPD EVIL ?
.
God allows evil to prevail 4 sm reasons we do knw n other reasons we dnt knw ,since GOD has nt stopd evil frm prevailing dat doesnt mean he knt stop it .i wil give a reason y i tink GOD has nt stopd evil.
EVIL AS A WARNING: God has incorporated into His divine plan the reality of evil in other to accomplish a greater GUD . Evil is meant to serve as a warning against breaking GODS commandment so people can c d necessity of following GOD.

Eghosa graviti: if i be like u,i go toast half of d girls for my department na.

lmao.....OYO

^^ may GOD help u o... .xo u nr fit b like me? Lol @gravity

Oh GOD ! My father in heaven , i pray 4 ur 4giveness upon my life , 4give my sins and iniquities ,deliver me from evil spirit manipulatin me n makin me go against ur good will , save my soul today.IJN AMEN.

Eghosa graviti: Guys abeg i heard if i havent checked my jamb result up to 3 times,i can still print out my original jamb without buying any e-facility card.but to print it out,it is asking for pin no and serial no.abeg Those wey don print their own, Answer me.

u must use scratch kard....if d 1st scratch kard u bought u v'nt used it upto 3tyms u kan stil use it nw...u must enta d serial numba n pin of d kard

George0002: I was admitted into computer sci but my admission was step down by jamb due to wrong subject combination.(i did biology instead of mathematics) pls what can i do?

STEP DOWN says it all... .. .sowi bro ah feel ur pain

Wether u wear red,white,green,blue or u naked if na ur tym to die , u go die,FALSE INFO.

Metaphycist: Wat happened to her

dnt mind auxtin...fingers dy scratch am...#boss auxtin ah salute

Eghosa graviti: Is there anyone in lagos who has done his or her Afidavicts here in lag?

kan any1 snap n upload his or her afidavit leme c wat it luks like. ... ...m havin problem wit mine

Metaphycist: I dint say faith,I said information!
I dnt lik it wen a proposition is nt clarified...nw let me mak my claim unambiguous or explicit.
Wat do i mean by "facts unravelled"? I mean facts u hv unveiled or uncovered due to personal studies.Like 1 Pastor(name withheld) said..."Valentine is 4 unbelievers" Anoda(name withheld) said...."Valentine is allowd in Christianity,bt mainly 4 couples" Nw dey r both renowd pastors of gud reputation.
If u r in d congregation of d former n u always base ur in4matn only on d tins u hear in religious gatherings,u will deem Valentine celebratn as evil,bt if u r in d gatherin of d latter,it wud be odawise.
So wat do u do? U go back n unravel facts by urself.
Well...I'm tryin 2 increase ur flexibility n make u less dogmatic in ur claims cuz dat's hw d limits of ur philosophical reasoning can be stretched.
I'm nt in anyway angry wit u or smtin,jst driving a msg tru n hope it gets 2 ur bus stop.

this is very correct,unravel d truth 4 ur self,

auxtin: ah be real bad guy...lyk very gud bad guy

...hmmm rily?

hardbody: Did you read the post that he was DRIVING a mettalic coloured EOD?

xo u dnt knw d meaning ov 1 chance... ..#too bad

Wats my beloved country turning into ?

Gwekzy: Jst PrinTed My Admission Letter OMG it Feels so GooD,,,

mahn pls add me up,bentrix9 @2go.. ..wana ask a ?

@ kel2me m very sowi ,its obvious u dint click submitted .... ..#ur data myt nt even bin recognised at all...PEACE

kel2me: [color=#770077][/color] so this is what my data is all about... Though everything is intact but Submitted is not written only paid but I believe that's not a problem.

m sure during ur pume registration u dint click d final 'submit' icon on d websyt,...dats problem....#ah dnt mean to ofend u o , its jst a suggestion....btw did u click submit afta entering al ur data during registratn?

auxtin: My papa don't wantz to give me moni to swear affidavit oh. He said that we are christians and christians don't swear

u fit swap admisn wit pipo wen go ready to swear anytin jst to get admitted

Gwekzy: MY WAEC ORIGINAL IS NOT YET READY O.....CAN I USE STATEMENT OF RESULTMAKE ONA ANSA ME ABEG

wats d diff. Btw statement of rezult n original kopy....listen to ur sev! Go ur sec sch n ask 4 it,btw clearance period stil far

Angelswt: plz,can dat one efecility card print out both d original jamb slip and d addmission letter?thank you.

no , u wil av 2 buy 2,tnx