PROF. NIYI OSUNDARE HAS DONE IT AGAIN WITH HIS CLASSIC POETRY INTERVENTION AS THE PUTRID SMELL OOZES OUT FROM THE NATION'S JUSTICE TEMPLE.

WITH THIS BUFFET FROM AN ILLUSTRIOUS SWORDSMITH, MY DAY IS MADE.
HAPPY READING:

My Lord, Tell me Where to Keep your Bribe.

A poem by Prof. Niyi Osundare.

My Lord
Please tell me where to keep your bribe?

Do I drop it in your venerable chambers

Or carry the heavy booty to your immaculate mansion



Shall I bury it in the capacious water tank

In your well laundered backyard

Or will it breathe better in the septic tank

Since money can deodorize the smelliest crime



Shall I haul it up the attic

Between the ceiling and your lofty roof

Or shall I conjure the walls to open up

And swallow this sudden bounty from your honest labour



Shall I give a billion to each of your paramours

The black, the light, the Fanta-yellow

They will surely know how to keep the loot

In places too remote for the sniffing dog



Or shall I use the particulars

Of your anonymous maidservants and manservants

With their names on overflowing bank accounts

While they famish like ownerless dogs



Shall I haul it all to your village

In the valley behind seven mountains

Where potholes swallow up the hugest jeep

And Penury leaves a scar on every house



My Lord

It will take the fastest machine

Many, many days to count this booty; and lucky bank bosses

May help themselves to a fraction of the loot



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



The “last hope of the common man”

Has become the last bastion of the criminally rich

A terrible plague bestrides the land

Besieged by rapacious judges and venal lawyers



Behind the antiquated wig

And the slavish glove

The penguin gown and the obfuscating jargon

Is a rot and riot whose stench is choking the lands



Behind the rituals and roted rigmaroles

Old antics connive with new tricks

Behind the prim-and-proper costumes of masquerades

Corruption stands, naked, in its insolent impunity



For sale to the highest bidder

Interlocutory and perpetual injunctions

Opulent criminals shop for pliant judges

Protect the criminal, enshrine the crime



And Election Petition Tribunals

Ah, bless those goldmines and bottomless booties!

Scoundrel vote-riggers romp to electoral victory

All hail our buyable Bench and conniving Bar



A million dollars in Their Lordship’s bedroom

A million euros in the parlor closet

Countless naira beneath the kitchen sink

Our courts are fast running out of Ghana-must-go’s*



The “Temple of Justice”

Is broken in every brick

The roof is roundly perforated

By termites of graft



My Lord

Tell me where to keep your bribe?



Judges doze in the courtroom

Having spent all night, counting money and various “gifts”

And the Chief Justice looks on with tired eyes

As Corruption usurps his gavel.



Crime pays in this country

Corruption has its handsome rewards

Just one judgement sold to the richest bidder

Will catapult Judge & Lawyer to the Billionaires’ Club



The Law, they say, is an ass

Sometimes fast, sometimes slow

But the Law in Nigeria is a vulture

Fat on the cash-and-carry carrion of murdered Conscience



Won gb’ebi f’alare

Won gb’are f’elebi**

They kill our trust in the common good

These Monsters of Mammon in their garish gowns



Unhappy the land

Where jobbers are judges

Where Impunity walks the streets

Like a large, invincible Demon



Come Sunday, they troop to the church

Friday, they mouth their mantra in pious mosques

But they pervert Justice all week long

And dig us deeper into the hellish hole



Nigeria is a huge corpse

With milling maggots on its wretched hulk

They prey every day, they prey every night

For the endless decomposition of our common soul



My Most Honourable Lord

Just tell me where to keep your bribe.



* Large, extremely tough bags used for carrying heavy cash in Nigeria



** They declare the innocent guilty

They pronounce the guilty innocent

quite a laudable economic input to the nation's technological advance...

But this one that its a silent achievement, let's hope no one is developing an army of decepticons somewhere under our noses.

Mail Thread...

Mail Threads...

Who ‘Arik Air Refund Unit’ Epp?

Am writing this piece to seek assistance and call out to Arik Air to completely payback my money.

I had booked a round trip flight online on the 19th April, 2016 scheduled to leave Lagos for Warri (20th April); then back from Warri to Lagos (21st April).
On my arrival to the airport on time according to ticket guidelines, I observed there was no business activity going on at the Arik Air Desk nor were passengers checked in. To my dismay, the information going round was the fact that the Airport Authority had decided to prevent any Arik Air flight scheduled for that day from operating.
“Reasons due to non payment of air travel dues by Arik Air for all their local flight routes.” One begins to wonder after charging such exorbitant amount for ticket, yet find it difficult to pay up the due for business operation. It’s not like the airline flies passenger for free or on charity basis. Neither do they collect their money from passengers along the way while the journey had been embarked on.
Having found myself left with air travel option using Arik Air (which was the only airline available) in order to get to my destination on time that I might meet up with my client's demand, I only ended up dealing with time constraint created by the insubordination of Arik Air at the airport.
Fast forward to the point of requesting for a refund of my ticket payment, Arik Air Refund Unit deemed it fit to pay part of my money convenient for them (which is less than half the total amount) while the Airline choose to hold onto the rest indefinitely (na by force to fly Arik Air again).
Every effort to reach the refund unit again by mails and phone calls had proved abortive after I once spoke with a staff about the situation. There are times I would put a call to the phone number and get the network response “the user is busy on another call”. Subsequently, when the call successfully goes through it rings endlessly unanswered.
It was easy for Arik Air to receive my money in full for payment of a flight booking intended to convey me to and fro my destination but find it difficult to payback my money in full for not rendering the service.

(Ha!!! Kò lè werk) there’s no intention within me to fly Arik Air soon or in the nearest future. All I need from the airline is my money paid back completely.

This is calling the attention of clients, private contractors, small & medium enterprise owners in the electrical power engineering business.

We wish to offer services as experienced field personnels in the area of back-up (UPS, Inverters) system & renewable energy (Solar, Wind) Source on freelance contract basis for projects & maintenance task.

Our track records speaks through our references. Call 08089447115 if you wish to engage and know more about our skills.

This Package is genuinely brought from the Panda Software Website. Its a 1 PC with 2Years License that is currently active starting this January 2015.

The price being offered is the discounted value of 1Year & 10Month. The extra days to complete 2 Years is considered a Bonus.

Internet Security Software
Panda Internet Security 2015
Advanced protection for your data and your identity

Key Benefits
Protects against all types of threats and wi-fi intruders
Safeguards your documents and confidential data
Parental control keeps your kids away from inappropriate content

Get Now: 1-PC License Valid 1Year & 10Months
Available at Discounted Rate!! Call 08057246609

For more info:
http://www.pandasecurity.com/usa/homeusers/solutions/internet-security/