₦airaland Forum

Hi, good afternoon.

For anonymity , my name is Lola (4th birth name) and this is my plight.
I met my husband during nysc camp in 2011 and for several years of our courtship till we got married.
I v constantly been reminded about his plans to relocate abroad someday but I never knew It would be at mercy of our marriage and my career years later.
Due to the high job demand in his field of study in school. He got a job not long after

nysc while I pushed my fashion designing business further, got a place in a good neighbourhood in Lagos and rebranded myself with the nysc money I was able to save.
During those times, I realized every phone and WhatsApp conversations of ours nd our once in blue moon date whenever he comes around often involves the relocation talk but I blindly thought it was something we could settle when we marry.

Note: He was living in porthacourt while I was in Lagos

After we got married, Him being the one with a good pay and the man, we mutually agreed for me to relocate to ph to settle and leave my fashion business and for some couple of years that we v been together. I observed his whole savings and investments have always been to raise enough money to sustain and perfect the relocation while on the other hand, i restarted my business and in a year+ i had a big boost in my fashion designing business.
I was able to gain a bit of popularity in porthacourt and good paying clients which led to an extreme work stress . While in search of how to balance my work routines, I luckily got some girls who wanted to learn and be their own brand later.
Few months after learning some basic things, they became the brain behind many designs of my fashion designing business and there after I rented a bigger space for my business, had a progress of clients and solid financial security.

Prior to the lockdown, our relationship was of the perfect one but weeks after it came into effectiveness and we all had to stay home. My husband came calling with his well structured plan and findings of the best country on his laptop for us to review and asked me to have it in mind and also plan ahead of informing some few friends and family ahead so it won't come as a surprise to them immediately full activities in the country resumes.
That was where the issue came from, I immediately cut him off with a "NO" I'm not relocating like that. He asked why ND I made it known to him, I v my career and life going perfectly well here. What will happen to me if I abandon my business and relocate with him. This looks like it's only about him cause of the obsession to push his career while I lose mine and then relocate to being a stay home mum. While I was ranting and letting him see my opinions. What if what if ? While trying not to be negatively minded but how certain is our career life there ? With the segregation of blacks, racism and the news of how the other side isn't always Greener than it seems.

He shouted with " i'v worked several years for this and you wouldn't be the reason to stop me" I should either choose between him and my career.

Been weeks we last got fully talking except some yes/no monosyllabic words quite necessary to say which I fully know its not ending soon.

I'm getting worried everyday, I love my husband and really want his progress but I don't want to abandon my booming business nd relocate to lose all. What career do I v waiting for me there ? Won't I end up being a stay home mum whose long time focus will end up in exile forever. I honestly don't mind him having the kids if possible and relocating alone while I shuttle between the two countries. I might end up agreeing with him buh what do I v waiting for me there ?

Kindly advice me.