Dnarvaez:
I`m not a writer or much of a critic, but one thing i noticed from your write-up at intervals, is the wrong use of the word being instead of been. then also the use of them instead of then.
I suggest you go through ur story and correct these minor errors. Doing these little things will make you a distinguished writer before you know it.
Actually I enjoyed this story, nice storylines.
Thanks for the mention

don't mention and thanks. your points are noted.

hmmm! waiting patiently to see how things would unfold

nice job, bro. ride on.

Idiataqueen:
Interesting and funny.

Yeap, Thanks for reading, ma.

Hey readers,
Thanks for your supports ever since I started this trend to now, I'm very grateful.

That's the end. Did you learn any lesson at all from the short story?, or yov've got something to say about the fiction. feel free to say anything you wanna say, i'm all ears (or should i say i'm all eyes since i will have to make use of my eyes to read what you've got to say,,).

Thanks,
signed: Bigwig97
tags:
Divepen1 ,
Marioking ,
Darnley16 ,
Dnarvaez ,
Hakunajay

In The Church, Cont'd.


The Pastor Continued Preaching on a topic I don't know because I wasn't in church when he started his sermon. But I guess the topic should be something about adultery or fornication since what the man of God was saying is some how related to it. Later, I heard the pastor saying something like "it is a sin to commit adultery and this sin is being triggered by a spirit. And don't forget that no adulterer or adulteress will make it to the kingdom of God"

Just then, my mind spoke to me again, "don't mind that old fashioned man calling himself a pastor, Jesus sef like am. You think say I dey lie? you too open you bible to john 12: 1-7" I sharply opened to that bible passage. Lo and behold, the story there was about when Mary, Lazarus's sister, who poured expensive perfume on Jesus's feet and wiped it with her hair. One of Jesus's disciples, judas, then complained about the act but Jesus answered him in verse seven saying "leave her alone! .....".
"Can you see what Jesus said? he was enjoying the act and he wanted her to continue so he had to shut Judas up" my mind spoke again

"hmmmm! bro Jesus I dey gadun your parol oh" I thought within me and smiled.

I was still lost in thought when mum tapped me and said "it's your turn"

"for what?" I asked innocently. I wasn't listening to what was going on so I didn't understand what mum was talking about.

"Deliverance, of course. I've gone for mine" mum answered, she was visibly angry with me 'cause of the question I asked.

I then walked towards the pastor who had being waiting for me. A woman and two men were unconsciously lying on the floor beside the pastor and I guessed the pastor must have casted evil spirits out of them. When I got to the man's front, he started uttering some inaudible words but I heard something like "oh you demon in his life..".

He then put his hand in my left ear and brought his mouth close to my right ear and screamed. "who are yoouuu?"

"I'm henry faith, sir"I answered innocently.
Then the man of God said, "not, you! I'm refering to the demon in you, if any is there". he then asked again "who are you?" but the manner in which he asked was a bit relaxed.

When he got no answer, he decided to proceed thinking the demon didn't want to talk. He then screamed "get out!" I ignorantly turned and ran towards the exit, like the biblical mad man of Gadarea, without looking back.

The pastor then shouted out, "Henry or what's your name come back here. I was refering to the demon not you"

"oh! poor me!" I murmured and walked back lazily towards the pastor. The pastor then placed his hand on my fore-head and murmured some words, I guessed he was speaking in tongues. He then started to push me away from himself. He pushed me in a way that i knew he wanted me to fall down.

"you wan push me so i go fall for ground and in your mind you will be like you don cast out demon abi" I reasoned inwardly and then stood firmly, making it difficult for him to push me. But he kept on increasing the force which he was exerting on my forehead in the bid to push me down.

My mind spoke again "oh boy! no fall down oh! if you fall, your 'spiri-koko' mama go think say you get evil spirit. That one separate. Your new fish, dami, too will also have the same mentality and may try to avoid you. 'bobo', use your head oh! I don talk my own".

Immediately my mind finished talking, I saw myself falling down and alas! I hit my head hard on the ground. I fell down at last. I then jumped up to let people know I was pushed and walked back to my seat in utmost disappointment.

"how on earth will I fall when I'm not demon-possessed?" I asked myself when I finally got seated.

The remaining part of the service went smoothly, leaving me with my thoughts, and ended about an hour later.


_______________________

I ran out the church and went the direction Dami passed. After about 3 minutes of running, I finally sighted her amidst 5 ugly girls who were chatting and laughing over an issue I can't fathom.

I finally caught up with them and tapped Dami from behind.

"What do you want from me?" she splitted out immediately she saw me and all the five ugly ladies looked back to see who their friend was refering to.
Then the ugliest of them all shouted "This's that funny heavily possessed guy" and all her friends laughed at me including Dami. I instantly became angry and hated Dami at once.

I then turned to leave shamefully.
I then ran back towards the church "I must get to church before mum start looking for me" I told myself as I kept running.

___________
On our way back home, mum kept throwing glances at me to extent that I had to ask her if all was well.
She answered saying "I just thank God I brought you here. if not, I know you would still have that demon inside you".
What she said made me angry and I said "The man pushed me. Tell me, have you ever seen T. Bright push anyone during deliverance before?"

T. Bright was a great deliverance minister whom mum enjoyed watching his ministration every thursday evening on XYZ TV.
"Will you shut up? The fact is you fell after you numerous lunatic displays. I mean the way you ran around the church like a possessed goat or are you saying he pushed you around?" I didn't say a word because I wasn't expecting such question.

"I'm just very happy. I have to inform you dad, ASAP. Let me call him now sef, I can't wait till I get home" she said and immediately grabbed her phone.

I became laughing stock. I felt as if my world was about to crumble as I heard dad laughing when mum told him what happened at the shed church.
My mind drifted back to my encounter with dami minutes ago. i was very depressed and annoyed. I felt like cursing the day, But I didn't since it was first sunday.

Ha! what an ordeal!, I lamented.


THE END***

viewing this topic: mzmira(f) and bigwig97(m)

Sanmix2007:
Following ur gud work

thanks bro.

i'm beginning to hate jimmy. nice one, dee

i'm beginning to hate jimmy.

In The Church, Cont'd

The people beside me thought my screaming was influenced by the holy spirit, including the pastor and the praise and worship coordinator, whose ugliness made me scream earlier.This ugly woman also have tribal marks all around her face. Why is this church filled with ugly people like this? First, it was ugly ursher and now ugly chorister, I wondered. The ugly woman changed the song she was singing to "come down oh! Lord and manifest your power ......." because of me.


I smiled within myself. "She's meant to sing 'come down ugliness and manifest your power ....." I said inwardly and started to dance just to play along and avoid mum's questions like what caused that noise? and others.

Few minutes later, I stylishly looked at mum. She was clapping her hands and oscillating to and fro like a pendulum bob. I them checked my other side and I saw a woman ,whom I guessed must be in her late fifties judging from her look, sweating and dancing like no man business. On close observation, I discovered her hips were going up and down one after the other. "Mama too dey dance etighi gan sef" I concluded. I them decided to look round the church and to my utmost surprise factually everyone was dancing and singing to God.


"God have mercy on rich men" I prayed silently. why? because in my main church everyone used to move from left to right like pendulum when songs are being sung to most-high God. But in this shed church, where only three people can say they have a car even though the cars are outdated, members are dancing as if they are contesting. "hmmmmmmm!" i sighed.

Everything went smoothly through out prayer session and testimony session save for grammatical blunder from some old women who were forcing themselves to speak English. The pastor then came up to the altar after the testimony. I wanted to laugh at the pastor because his tie was knotted in a way that looked like a rope was tied round a goats neck. "must pastors always put on tie?" my mind asked
"I tire oh" I responded with a little smile and also closed my eyes briefly.

On opening my eyes, I saw a beautiful 'damsels' (I said 'damsels' so you will know how beautiful she was). To say she's beautiful was an understatement, maybe I should say she was 'most beautiful.' She wore a 'Buba' and 'Oleku' Iro made of 'Ankara'. She was seated behind the ugly, tribal marked woman who led the praise session. A girl beside her whispered something like 'Damilola' and she faced her and they started talking silently while the sermon went on.


Mum then tapped me saying "Henry, I didn't take my glasses in the car. Help me get it, here are the keys"

I collected the car keys and walked out of the shed church. I opened the door beside the driver's seat and then took mum's glasses. I was about to lock the car when I saw someone's shadow coming towards me. I looked up and to my surprise, the girl have being admiring was coming towards me. I stylishly open the car which I was meant to close. I did as if I was checking something in the car just to make sure she sees me and think the jeep was mine. I then came out of the car when she was directly beside the jeep.

"hey sis" I greeted. She looked at me as if I just said latin.
"You look like someone I know at school, Unilorin to be precised. Are you Dami, Mechanical Engineering Department?" I manage to say so as to advertise myself as an undergraduate.
When she heard 'Dami', she shocked and I'm sure she would be like "how did he know my name" but a sharp guy like me will always get whatever he wants.

"oh! I'm sorry. I'm not the dami you know at unilorin. Infact I've never being there before" she replied after recovering from the shock

"Ehnen? or do you have a sis there?" I asked

"nah" she answered
"But why were you shocked when I asked you my first question?"

"Oh that. So you noticed? Anyway sha it's because dami is my name" she said smiling

" You're a chorister right?" i asked

"how do you know?" she answered my question with another question

"Because fine ladies like you are meant to have sweet voice" I said and she blushed
"yeah, I am. Why are you asking?" she later asked

"your outfit!"
"oh! Today is first sunday now. And one can wear anything he/she likes" she answered. oh! no wonder almost all the workers are on native, I concluded.

"please, I have to go now. I was sent to buy battery for the keyboard." she said and turned to leave.
"ok. let's me after service so we can talk then." I shouted
"no problem" she shouted back.

I then locked the car and rushed inside to meet mum in the church.

*tbc*

Sorry for the delay. I promise to continue today.

Sorry for the delay. I have been trying to deal with some issues here.
Expect update(s) today as this short story will end latest tomorrow.

marioking:



Just skimming through...though I didn't check for punctuation

I really appreciate this. Thanks a bunch, sir. I will correct them ASAP

Hey sammyhoe and other readers, ghost readers inclusive.

You have a nice story here.
But i noticed errors in chapter 8 and 9. You used present tenses when you were meant to use past tenses in most aspects of the two chapters.

I will try to maybe edit it later in the day if I'm chanced.

Oga marioking,

Also check my other story through the link in my signature and help check for ammendments, if any is there.

Thanks.

marioking:
Nice updates my brother. I can see improvement in your composition, alignment and coordination of your conversations!


You really making things out!


Please endeavour to always proof read ur updates before posting because I could see some typos here... Just a cent bro

Thanks sire. I promise to always proof read.

** Chapter 6 continued**

In her bedroom, Labake sat infront of her dressing mirror, she picked up her foundation, highlighter, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick and other makeup stuffs and applied them one after the other.
After minutes of battling with the makeup kit, she looked at herself, smiled and said "Any one that says you are not beautiful must be a fool and blind" with her index finger pointing at the image in the mirror before her. She kept on praising her beauty but was stopped by the ringing of her phone.

"hey S, I'm almost through. What am I saying? I'm through gan sef" Labake said immediately she picked the call.

"Ok. Don't keep us waiting oh! 'cause we are ready and waiting for you here" Seun said on the other side

"I won't. I'll be with you people in fifteen minutes time" Labake answered

"o da bo (bye)" Seun answered in her mother tongue and hung off.

Labake flung the phone on her bed and rushed to her wardrobe to pick a purple bag which matched the purple dry lace she was putting on. She then walked out to the bedroom.




_________________________

"Ty, you will have to help me go back to the shop after you've dropped me at Seun's place. My mind is telling me work at shop today can't be handled effectively by that little Debo. Will you?" Labake asked Ty who had being concentrating on the bad road so as not to run into pot-holes on the road.


Ty was Labake's husband's driver. She had complained to her husband about the stress in driving herself, so the latter sent his driver to her while he managed to drive himself for the main time as a good and responsible husband he was.


"Oga, no problem. your wish is my command. Even if you ask me to park this car and carry you on by back to where we are going, I no get choice, I go obey" Ty answered sarcastically.

"Ahn an! It's not up to that nah! it seems you are a very funny man and I'm sure will enjoy your company" Labake responded

"You will ma'am. Left or right?" Ty said

" No wonder my husband didn't want to release you to me in the first place. Ehn en! turn to the right now" Labake said and directed ty who didn't know where they were going.

"ok ma'am" Ty said and made a sharp turn to his right.

"Good. keep following the straight path and I will tell you when to stop. Hope you are mastering the road sha. So you will know where to come when you want to carry me back home since no one will be there to direct you." Labake explained

"Ma'am, no worry yourself I dey master am" Ty said trying to speak pidgin.

Few minutes later, they got to seun's house and ty made a U-turn and drove back to shop to work with Debo, while Labake went to join Seun and family into their house.

* End of Chapter 6 *

Hey readers,

Please pardon for not updating yesterday. But be sure you will get update(s) today.
Thanks.

to all #teamTaiwo; Note that jake wasn't at fault for maltreating serena. he had to do that to avoid serena's dad's trouble.

but i blame him a little for trying to spite her.

prettydiva89:
Gobe

Na so, sis. thanks for following, reading, commenting and all.

.

Chapter 6

"Hey Wole, keep your mouth shut. If you are not a fool, you'll know you don't have any right to question me. I don't see any thing wrong in trying to watch over my husband to prevent him from entering the trap of dangerous and crazy women like Labake. And let it sink in your head that as long as I'm alive, you marrying Labake is synonymous to trying to climb a ladder to reach the heavens", Laide said, and stood with arm akimbo after Wole and Ola fed her in with the latest news.

" Laide! watch your tongue. You can call me fool or any other name but don't dare abuse Labake." Wole, who was obviously enraged with his wife's manner of talking, warned.

" Don't tell me that. She's a foolish woman, husband snatcher, possessed and devilish" Laide continued raining curses.

" If she's possessed and devilish, then you are more possessed and infact the most devilish because she's your friend before Ade's death" Wole shouted back at her.

" Hey ey! Wole, o ti pa mi (you've killed me). Don't worry by the time I deal with you, you will know who is the most devilish " Laide said and ran towards wole and gave him a very hot slap. Wole had never laid his hands on his wife before, so this has made Laide think wolewas a lazy man who couldn't kill a cockroach not to talk of beating human being.

Ola who had being thinking about his life and what would happen if sacked, couldn't help laughing.

When Wole saw ola laughing, he became very angry and he pushed Laide, who fell on a nearby couch. He then ran to carry the sitting room centre table and threw it at Ola.

Ola who wasn't aware a table was been thrown at him still kept on laughing until the table hit him and he passed out.

Just then Wole knew the gravity of what he's done and he quickly carried Ola, with the help of his wife whose eyes are now relaxed, out of their house and they headed toward the east, where the village doctor's house is located.

___________________
Today's update is short!

Yeah, I know but please bear with me. I'm Just too tired.

Goodnight Readers.

nice update man

hakunajay:
The story's good so far... Please continue, comments or no comments.

I can bet the girl is ugly like UGLY...

Thanks for that bro.. comments or no comment, I must complete this story latest by saturday. and then take my sabbatical leave for two week.
About The Girl? U Just Stay Turned And See How Things Unfold

This Story is about 60% gone.. but still no encouraging comment. God bless nairaland ghost readers.

Hahahahahahaha! can't stop laughing oh!
good for you, women and money. no money no love...
great job, Op

In Church, 7:30am

After like thirty minutes of driving in silence, we got to our destination. The place was a church built like a shed- made with planks and roofing sheet only. I wondered within me why mum chose to attend a shed church against attending our beautiful, air-conditioned, palace-like, family church. My mind told me to be patient as everything will be clear to me with time and I did just that.

Mum drove to a side of the church's surrounding where 3 other cars were parked. I looked at the three cars only to see that they were all cars popularly used in late nineties. The one by the left of my mum's jeep was a Peugoet 504, by the left was a Nissan Datsun and the third car was peugoet 505 saloon car. I laughed within myself. I was sure those cars were older than me (and even most of my readers, lolz.)

I alighted from the car and waited for mum to lock her vehicle. When she was done, we walked toward the church side by side. Later, something caught my attention, it was a sonorous voice of the person i guessed to be leading praise and worship section. My mind spoke to me the second time saying, 'oh boy! The girl wey own this voice go bad die. Sharply walk make you go see am before she go siddon'. As if I was under spell, I increased my pace to about five times the initial one. Within seconds, the gap between mum and myself was up to 3 metres or so. I could sense my mum too was surprised at my change in behavior, but I cared less.

When I entered the shed church, an ugly male ursher beckoned on me. The sight of the ugly man made me forget my mission. I, immediately, went to meet him and he took me to a seat at the front. On a normal day, I used to shun urshers and sit on my usual back seat. But today was different because my mind kept telling me to follow.

I settled on my seat and murmured my prayers quickly, just like almost all believers would do. Immediately, mum was brought to the seat on my right by the same ugly ursher. She smiled at me and I responded. The sonorous voice I heard earlier came into my hearing again and I eagerly looked up to check who the singer with the sexy voice was but what I saw made me scream out 'JESUS'

dee, u bad gan oh! i was celebrating chris' escape before you made him get into another danger!!
u are just too unpredictable. thumbs up

is deborah aware of her bro's plan?
nice work ciela

Happy Birthday, mindful06.
Long Life And Prosperity, I Pray.
Remember, The Only Birthday Cake You Can Offer Me Is An Update.