₦airaland Forum

Hi Naira Land!
Hi Naira Land!

So I need to guys to help me out here. I'm confused about my relationship, so maybe you guys can help see clearly?

I met my fiancé at a wedding in Nigeria. He was the best man I was the maid of honor. We are both igbo but I am American born & raised.

After the wedding we exchanged numbers. And he chatted me as I flew back to the States up until today 10 months later. We have talked everyday, 3x a day.

Two weeks after the wedding he started saying he loves me. And I was abit thrown off by it. Soon within the first month he mentioned marriage. This threw me off, but enticed me as I want to marry being in my 30s.

In one of our earliest convos, he mentioned buying us a house since Im now his responsibility but he will leave it for me and come to visit. Since hes not sure he likes yankee. This unfuriated me & I ignored him for 2 days. What kind of marriage would that be? He said he was just joking n I forgave him.

So fast forward 7 months later... he has stated his intention to marry me to my uncle after coming to see me in Lagos on a visit I made.

We did the wine engagement ceremony in my uncle house. I met his whole family: Mom, Sister, Brother, his Boss... everyone knows about me. And chats me everyday. My picture has been on his dp the whole 9 months. He sent texts showing me off... and posted my pics on fb. He contacted my uncle to do the introduction and spoke to my Dad & Mom. He calls me his soulmate... and says he will have a broken heart if I leave him.

So here are the problems: He lied about his age. Told me he is 32 (I am 32) but I found out thru his ex he is 29. I confronted him and took 5 months and silly made up stories before he came clean that he is indeed 29. I even called his Mom to verify. He told me his Mom was lying! But today he confesses he is 29.

Next issue: when I went to Lagos to see him, I searched his phone. Wrong I know! But I saw three texts that confused me: one was him asking his friend to save his ex gf pics of him and her and one of her awards. Two was him asking his friend to send him money to complete d mission in lagos as he is making road for men. The third was him flirting with one girl.

Next issue: he keeps mentioning marriage but doesnt ask where we will live, wat he will do for living here.. or any real plans. Im the one making all d plans.

The last issue: we got into an argument about some of the texts I saw on my lagos visit. One of his friends called him to ask him why we are fighting. He told him a very different story! That we are fighting because I want him to live in America, but he cant live there since he has his job in ph. Mind you all he has no job he is an errand boy and does construction gigs. He told his friend that he wants to just be visiting me instead. I was so confused because I was getting ready to file for him, choosing a place for us to live, and looking into job sectors and schools for him!

So I called him to pretend thats what I want. And he agreed! Saying that I can live in America and him in Nigeria for awhile and I can have babies later like 40 he said.

Naira Landers!! Am I missing something? Or does everything seems okay and I'm overthinking this guy? Please be honest and neutral!!!!
So I need to guys to help me out here. I'm confused about my relationship, so maybe you guys can help see clearly?

I met my fiancé at a wedding in Nigeria. He was the best man I was the maid of honor. We are both igbo but I am American born & raised.

After the wedding we exchanged numbers. And he chatted me as I flew back to the States up until today 10 months later. We have talked everyday, 3x a day.

Two weeks after the wedding he started saying he loves me. And I was abit thrown off by it. Soon within the first month he mentioned marriage. This threw me off, but enticed me as I want to marry being in my 30s.

In one of our earliest convos, he mentioned buying us a house since Im now his responsibility but he will leave it for me and come to visit. Since hes not sure he likes yankee. This unfuriated me & I ignored him for 2 days. What kind of marriage would that be? He said he was just joking n I forgave him.

So fast forward 7 months later... he has stated his intention to marry me to my uncle after coming to see me in Lagos on a visit I made.

We did the wine engagement ceremony in my uncle house. I met his whole family: Mom, Sister, Brother, his Boss... everyone knows about me. And chats me everyday. My picture has been on his dp the whole 9 months. He sent texts showing me off... and posted my pics on fb. He contacted my uncle to do the introduction and spoke to my Dad & Mom. He calls me his soulmate... and says he will have a broken heart if I leave him.

So here are the problems: He lied about his age. Told me he is 32 (I am 32) but I found out thru his ex he is 29. I confronted him and took 5 months and silly made up stories before he came clean that he is indeed 29. I even called his Mom to verify. He told me his Mom was lying! But today he confesses he is 29.

Next issue: when I went to Lagos to see him, I searched his phone. Wrong I know! But I saw three texts that confused me: one was him asking his friend to save his ex gf pics of him and her and one of her awards. Two was him asking his friend to send him money to complete d mission in lagos as he is making road for men. The third was him flirting with one girl.

Next issue: he keeps mentioning marriage but doesnt ask where we will live, wat he will do for living here.. or any real plans. Im the one making all d plans.

The last issue: we got into an argument about some of the texts I saw on my lagos visit. One of his friends called him to ask him why we are fighting. He told him a very different story! That we are fighting because I want him to live in America, but he cant live there since he has his job in ph. Mind you all he has no job he is an errand boy and does construction gigs. He told his friend that he wants to just be visiting me instead. I was so confused because I was getting ready to file for him, choosing a place for us to live, and looking into job sectors and schools for him!

So I called him to pretend thats what I want. And he agreed! Saying that I can live in America and him in Nigeria for awhile and I can have babies later like 40 he said.

Naira Landers!! Am I missing something? Or does everything seems okay and I'm overthinking this guy? Please be honest and neutral!!!!