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It was a cold,cold night in Lagos and I knew it was one of those nights I've come to accept and have gotten used to. I could see people putting up 'Weather for 2' and 'Weather for 3' as their personal message on blackberry messenger but I couldn't be bothered by all that. I knew that even if the heavens started raining babes, I'd still be sleeping alone tonight. That's the nature of my hex when it comes to getting a lady into my bed and as a result,I've been celibate for so many years.

But that was about to change.

As it so happened,there was power outage and I honestly didn't give a hoot about that. I didn't need light after all. The weather was cool enough and my blackberry was sufficiently charged so I prepared for bed. Then came the knock.

I couldn't believe my eyes when she entered. I had not seen her in over 6years,nor had she crossed my mind in over 4. She wasn't even a friend,she was a friend's friend so we just used to say 'Hi' back then. But man,was I happy to see her. She was short the way I like them and well "endowed."
She must have been happy to see me too as she came to sit on my thighs as I was still sizing her up. Before I knew it,I was kissing her neck and she was responding and I thought this was going to be a great night after all. She then told me to excuse her cos she needed to change and stuff and I did. Hardly had she left when a female friend of mine knocked and came in. I actually thought the heaven was raining babes but I knew that I wasn't getting any from this one. She only enjoyed gisting and she wasn't as endowed as the cinderella that stepped out. I decided I had to get rid of her fast so she won't pour sand in my garri so I did all I could but she wouldn't budge until the other babe came back wearing an even shorter gown...


To find out the crazy events that happened next,please click on /p20YY4-68. Real crazy.


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Mr Edoho had no time for sissies and weaklings. So when his wife gave him twin boys five years ago,they were already sentenced to a life of toughness.

He didn't let his boys play with girls. He never bought them dolls but toy-guns. He didn't believe in his boys coming home to report when fellow students beat them in school. They fight back & beat someone. He had no time for cry-babies.
His wife always tried to tell him to take it easy with the kids but he argued that it wasn't an option.

"If my own father had been easy on me,I might have been a hopeless loser by now" he would always argue.

Mrs Edoho would just walk away from her Lawyer husband. When he was younger,he always wanted to be a soldier but he was too sluggish & weak to make Military school. She knew it haunted him so he wanted to make sure Peter & Paul won't have to suffer a similar fate. But she thought he should soften up a little with them.

His favorite past time with them was watching wrestling. He had a lifetime collection of wrestling DVDs. He would scream with the boys when there was a smackdown while the wife just shook her head in resignation.

But all that would change...


On that fateful day,Mr Edoho came back from work crazily exhausted. The 5 year old twins were just rounding off their homework. As soon as they saw their dad,they screamed they wanted to watch wrestling. He was too tired to refuse so he slotted in one of the SummerSlam collections he had and the twins sat to watch. His wife asked him to wait to eat dinner so he could go rest after. She went to the kitchen to get his meal.
He went to sit at the dining table to wait for his meal so he could eat and go sleep. He didn't know when he slept off with his head hanging backwards and his mouth open as he snored softly.


Now the boys were real excited as Randy Orton leapt from the top rope buckle and delivered an elbow smash to a semi-conscious opponent.

They wanted to call their dad to see the move when they saw their dozing dad with the same expression as the wrestler Randy Orton just elbow-smashed. With a grin on their face,they abandoned the TV and both went to climb on the top of the settee closest to the dining chair their dad was seated...

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Mr Edoho was dreaming he was in heaven... At the pearly gates to be exact. Somehow,it wasn't Saint Peter at the gate but the husband of the lady he cheated on Mrs Edoho with. He knew he had no chance to make heaven and since "the violent taketh it by force",he proceeded to force himself in. As he pulled at the gate,the gate now started falling on him! He couldn't run fast enough and as the gate fell on him,he heard a SNAP and he felt a pain so unbearable to be a dream...

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When he opened his eyes,he realised he was face up on the floor with a crushing pain on his neck. Then he looked up to see Peter,one of his twin sons, jumping off the sofa with his elbow aimed straight for his neck. He wanted to shout at the boy but he realised he couldn't utter a sound. Worse still,he realised he couldn't move a muscle to dodge the blow. The last thing he realised as he felt a convulsive pain wrack his body was Paul,the other twin,climbing the chair and the wife stepping out of the kitchen...



2 months later,Mr Edoho still has the caste well set on his neck but you won't find a Wrestling DVD anywhere. A local TV station in Lagos that show Wrestling is now a Taboo in the house.

Hehehe...

Don't try this at home.



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