₦airaland Forum

eyinjuege:
Light and water bills is not more than 10k.
For a man with two children, he's wicked if that's all he drops at home from a salary of 70K.
Don't be surprised he's going to be one of the best dressed men in his office, wearing expensive shoes.
Do you want to tell me that before he got married, he was only spending 10K monthly where he was living? Won't he pay rent, buy food, pay same water and electricity bills?
Rather, he's seen a cashcow to milk .
70K is indeed nothing, but I'm sure if he gives his wife half of the 70K every month, she would still be thankful, and wouldn't mind so much dropping her own money as she's been doing for 4years now. Don't forget school fees, rent, feeding are all on her.
I would have been more sympathetic towards the man if he was jobless, believing its just circumstances. But in this case, I'm seeing him as irresponsible, even borderline wicked. He doesn't seem to realise what it takes to be a parent. You just have to provide for your children's basic needs such as education at all costs. Their needs should always supercede yours.
God forbid, anything bad happens to OP.

Thanks everyone for your contribution.

Above poster, u are right. He is best dressed at work and most likely with most expensive phone. You have stated a lot of things on my mind. He was paying his rent before we married. If he would even give me 10k for feeding once in a while I would give even more just cos of that gesture. I have said these tins over and over again. I even jokingly tell him I'm his maga sometimes. All these complains he says I'm nagging just because of money.

Someone said I shd report the issue. The people he r espects mostly are his parents. They probably have an idea I earn more but they don't know he doesn't gI've me nada. If I report he will be very furious with me and they may also take sides sef.

In all of this our sex life is almost non existent. I practically have to beg for it or complain so much. Till I stopped. Maybe like 3 or 4 times since this year. always say he's tired. We can be in the house no going out for one week n he will still complain of tiredness. He's not cheating. I've checked his fone n Co.


Actually I'm just getting frustrated and irritated although I'm not showing it. I'm beginning to think marriage is over rated. Single women, pl's don't ever feel bad that u are not married yet. Just rock ur life till the right person comes

Me77:
Op you led him to this, sorry to say. agreeing to carry out those responsibility in the first time without any clear agreement on when to stop has made him so relaxed and forgotten his manly responsibilities as a husband. He now assumed you'll continue this way for as long as you two are together since you already started it he doesn't see the need for you to stop it now.
How you gonna get out of this? Hmm.. Get him to sit down and talk some stern words into his head. Tell him your job has no security as you mentioned, you have to save for the future and can't continue like this! Remind him he's the man and head of the family because he seems to have forgotten. Cut half the spending and stand by your action. Do not fall back no matter how he starts arguing or throwing tantrums. When he sees how serious you are he will sit up and do his work I hope.

It's not like all of this was an agreement but as for the rent and feeding n most other bills we will plan to do it together but when time comes, it's I don't have money o. I was expecting one money it didn't come.So to avoid embarrassment , I pay. Like the food I allow my kids hungry, so I do it

I've been married 4 years. I'm just not happy right now. And I don't know if there are other women in my shoes and how they cope.

I'm 30 and he''s 37. We have two lovely boys. We live in southern part of Nigeria and while I work with a telecoms company, hubby works with the state govt. I earn about 250k and hubby about 70k. I'm ok with this. But hubby has left almost all financial responsibilities to me. I pay rent, feeding and the bulk of kids school fees while he does water board and electricity bills. There's no security in my job so I try to save for the future. Hubby lives above his means , sometimes buys expensive stuff on credit and always claims to have no money. Always taking loan for one thing ot the other from the office and so has been earning only 30k since. So once he pays for water and light bill buys few provisions that's the end of the salary , all other expenses r back to me. I dare not complain or ask him for money cos he will say so with that my big salary I'm still looking at his thats nit available. He blames it on the poor govt pay but I always wonder how family men with housewives earning the govt pay are doing it.

The thing is, is this normal? I'm loosing it. I feel like a single mother just struggling a lot of times. He has never dropped 1 kobo for the children's clothes. Most times I have to augment with okrika for myself n the kids. Meanwhile he has never changed diaper once for the babies. Everything is on me. Most times I feel drained and this man will still complain with disgust that there is not enough Maggi in the soup, I dare not put only 1 piece of meat on his plate.

Is this what marriage is about? Please note that i am very humble and he knows it. Once in a while he will praise me for all the assistance in this economy. But im exhausted. I thot a man is supoosed to add value to me when i marry or is it a curse to earn more as a woman?.I haven't just come to complain I am seeking advise.

Mature women and men pls help