₦airaland Forum

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

I don't understand why you will throws this topic to social media without talking to the person u accuse. Problems arise in marriage because of the fault of both parties and not one. You claim you have endured the last 10 years, you sound like a weak person who find it hard to make quick decisions. So u want to divorce her but u r too lazy to take care of your children because she has no money to care for them. That to me is a problem, it sounds like u are tired of her and you want to dump her otherwise if you are really sure she cheated you will not be asking NL for solution because 10 years of marriage mean that you are in your 40s and u r throwing ur problem open to people that are very junior to you.Anofia.

You need to grow up. If she has truly been a very bad person, and this happened you will be too angry to be typing your 10year history here. Do what you have always wanted to do and see if you will not regret your life. You are just tired of the marriage but I think you contributed to it big time.