eni4real:
A stronger temperament, strong discipline and unyielding personality of a man that should tame a lady of such explosive personality

OP don't have that.. He is a cool guy!!!

The truth is that I don't have explosive personality.. If I do, I would have been beaten her quite a few number of times considering the level she has frustrated me to

The reason why I need to go in search of a lady who I can handle with my gentleman personality

newdawn2017:
Ok. Now my dear Please disengage, & completely disassociate from her, her personality is toxic, u re doing damage to urself emotionally, mentally & phycologically should u continue. Dis is a an abusive woman who knows how to put up a very good show when u both go outside to win d admiration of onlookers, vwhile only u know & see first-hand her true colors. U re trauma bonded with her. As u re addicted to d emotional rollercoaster she puts u through. Should u stay in such pains, ur body organs will beging to fail, cramps in ur stomach, ur kidneys, pains on ur spine.

The reason why I even created this thread is because I'm beginning to suffer for the trauma. I'm becoming sad day by day compared to the way I used to be

iRepNaija1:
Regardless of the circumstances, you two don't seem compatible for each other. Moreover, I'm always suspect of a person who feels more than comfortable framing their partner as the perpetrator and themselves as the victim. OP, I highly doubt you're 100% blameless in this. Even the terminology you use toward your girlfriend is suspect.

I never said I'm blameless. I have my own flaws too but certainly not rudeness, pomposity, arrogance or disrespecting her family during heated arguments

HOB777:
Had it been I have my story written anywhere I would have said the OP copied me. This is just a replica of my relationship challenge and I still don't know why I love this girl till tomorrow.

At the least of any misunderstanding what comes out of her mind would always baffles me and made my question any act of love or gesture she ever proclaimed to me.

I've been told directly or indirectly to free this girl but I failed. Even when she broke up with me I still went begging like my existence depends on the relationship.

I wish and pray I have the courage to let go of her, but , foolish me still crave for her love that seems not existing and hoping to settle down with her.

I needed prayer and proven psychological strategies that can set me free of this prison not abuses.

A WISE COUNSEL WOULD BE CHERISHED

Same with me bro.. There's no one I come out plain to about girlfriend's attitude that they don't discourage me

She has other good sides but this flaws of hers is disastrous. It's a marriage wrecker and that was why I opened this thread to hear the views of others

eni4real:
I am sure she has a lot of good qualities... But she lacks the most important one..

Let go of her...

Yes she does but humility is far from her

Burggerxbabe:
Hey baby you forgot to mention how you keep cheating and beating me each time you go out and get drunk. I’ve lost count really . You are here calling all sorts of names but you are actually the abuser, disrespectful and manipulative boyfriend. Break up with me already if all these things are true. What do you expect me to do when I catch you cheating, smile and hug you? Instead of you to work on yourself, you are here laying blames. Let’s see a relationship expert and work on the relationship but you always say No. How can a lady who you treat as a queen disrespect you? Please answer my question!

I guess you're a troll or maybe you probably share the same traits with my gf and you actually think it's your boyfriend that created this thread

darealbabe:
If a woman can not and has chosen not to respect you, wetin you gain??
Personally, I can't marry a man I don't respect.
A woman can't respect a man she doesn't trust. But brother eh, since you know this, why you still dey ask?
A relationship will thrive only when the people involved respect each other! There's no shortcut.
I have called off relationships, simply because I felt I didn't respect the man enough. I knew there was nothing interesting to look forward to and I can't stand a weak man who allows anybody to treat him anyhow. Regardless of who the person is. Mba!
These guys loved me, but I didn't trust them. I didn't trust their word. I didn't respect them. I struggled to respect them.
Not until I met my fiance who commanded my respect. No, he is not abusive yet he doesn't take shit from me. He has his way of keeping me in check. A man should be able to be in charge.
There are times we act as equals, and there are times I accord him the full respect as a leader.
When a woman does not respect you, you lose your self worth as a man and become a doormat.
Never give room for a woman to put you down. Start by respecting yourself and being open to your woman about what respect means to you. You guys should talk about how you want the other person to treat you.
A woman who does not respect you will cheat on you without remorse.
A woman who does not respect you will leave you miserable.
The worst is some will stick to you because of indecision and subject you to a sticky ball of mess...
A man should learn to assert himself as a MAN! I don't mean he should become a bully. I mean he should become a MAN!

My God bless you my sister

The thing is that, I saw this things clearly with my two naked eyes when the relationship started newly but I thought it was a minor thing that could be corrected. But right as I speak, instead of it to get better, it's getting worse

My ears were blocked when my family observed her and predicted her to be a potential problematic wife but now I'm beginning to see the truth in it.. For someone to even disrespect my family whom I hold in high regard during a heated argument speak volume of the hell I'm going to face with her as a wife

bixton:



It appears you have not finally made peace with yourself to let her go.

Try this out and let the outcome be the judge....
Bring out all your dirty clothes of one month ago and that of about 3 of your friends. Also add hers to it and tell her to do the washing while you sit down and observe. .......

I'll like to know how it plays

I haven't tried doing what you just said but she doesn't wash my clothes.. I do that myself

She has only done that only on a rare occasion and she has made it clear to me that she's not a slave. Only my younger sister comes around during weekend to wash the clothes I wore to office for the week. My girlfriend doesn't do that when she comes around

frozen70:


Since the colour of the red flag is not bright enough for you to see and believe that the boat you want to sail is having two captains

That means, it will capsid and guess what, you will get drawn and she will move on to the shore.
Either by swimming or by rescue

Pls what's so special about this lady that you still kept her with you ❓

Character, zero, what again do you think you can use to replace it ❓

No matter how well built she is,
No matter her beauty
No matter her class

When her attitude matures beyond taming, those attractions become useless

You tied up your love to her that's why you don't even know how or where to start from

Guy, am a woman but for a woman to process all you just mentioned if your are being sincere

Just walk away pls

I'm being sincere dear and God knows everything I've written here is nothing but the truth

Didi2d:
Noooooooo ooooooooo
My brother run for your life oooooo

I am in such a mess now, I have said it here on nairaland again and again I knew her bad attitude but I went on with the relationship but now I am suffering for it now.
I pray God help me

When I hear all sort of stories like that on Nairaland, I never knew I would be a victim of a toxic partner.. Not even an easy going person like me

sacramento1212:


What are the good sides of this lady in question? Does it supercede the bad side?

She's intelligent, a motivator and a career driven lady which are good traits almost every man wants in a woman but the fear that she will cause separation between me and my family scares the hell out of me

Mom and younger sister have both observed my girlfriend to the extent that they predicted that my house will be out of bound for them if I eventually marry the lady. The first time they predicted it, I thought maybe it's because they don't like her but her actions and behaviour has been pointing towards their prediction

Billyanger:
NO bro! For the love of God! Why you doing this to yourself? Your mom is a woman and she is sensitive, believe her and leave the girl...no regret.

Yes my mom is more sensitive than I am. She can smell an evil person miles away

newdawn2017:
U re very fortunate dear op, that she came to u without her mask. U re seei g dis ki d of thing clearly & u re considering marriage with such a toxic b**ch?? . I think u ve low self esteem & no standards at all, hence such consideration in d first place. Good luck to u.

No I don't have a low self esteem. Let me just say I refused to let go probably because of her beauty and the thrill of people being envious of us when we are both walking together. Only if they know the heating I'm facing dating the pretty lady they envy

aniekeme09:
I have a friend like that...so stubborn, insultive and always wants to claim correct all the time...abeg I don free am so I don't receive insults becos I hate insults....so my advice will be free her...distance urself from her...

She's so stubborn and always want to control me. Each time I talk about her bad attitude which is not something I can't easily overlook, she begins to argue and tells me no relationship is perfect

Even if no relationship is perfect, is about condoning a lady who has the tendency to disrespect both me and my parents?

I come from a humble background but she's just the opposite of that

Unpussified:
Op she has everything no proper man wants in a woman. She is toxic, manipulative, abusive, domineering, disrespectful and not submissive. Whatever u going through now is child's play, in marriage it gets worse cos everything gets amplified. The only solution here is to walk away and never look back.

I grew up in a family where humility and good character is our watchword but I just can't be the one that will marry a woman that will cause separation between me and my family

Drpeey:
I said it all. Ur mom is a smart woman. Dont marry out of pity so u won't live frustrated life.

My mom is smarter than I think... I always conceal her real character from her because I don't want my mom to hate her but she knows everything I've been hiding

dustydee:

First, are you submissive? If not, please do not expect her to be.

What are you saying?

Did you skip the part where I said he has disrespected my family during a heated argument?

My family that I don't joke with

Brightgem:
why do people say things like this, I don't know if the next person would be worse?

Hence stay in what doesn't work. Well good luck. All your answers were already in the original posts.

I only meant that was what kept me that long... But I've decided to move on

Martinez39:
I have no pity for you. I have no pity for people who stupidly orchestrate their misery. If you don't know what to do, I cannot help you and nobody can. If all your girlfriend can be like this and you haven't done the needful or don't know what you should do, then both of you deserve and belong to each other.
Stupidity is a curse that makes the stupid man potentially dangerous to himself and those around him. You are afflicted by this curse and the only cure is the singular act of fully using your brain. Start using your brain to think smart like an adult and get some boldness and spine. You are a weak and very stupid person.

I'm not stupid man! The reason why I have stayed this long with her is that I don't know if the next person I will jump to would be worse, which I doubt

Unpussified:
Op she has everything no proper man wants in a woman. She is toxic, manipulative, abusive, domineering, disrespectful and not submissive. Whatever u going through now is child's play, in marriage it gets worse cos everything gets amplified. The only solution here is to walk away and never look back.

That's exactly my plan bro... Marriage is not a child's play and I don't want to end up as a frustrated man.. The frustration in this country alone is enough to give one concern talk more of adding that of a miserable wife to it

I know there are several other guys in the same dilemma with me and I hope lalasticlala can give this post a wider audience

One thing that scares the hell out of me about my girlfriend is her attitude. When you talk about a disrespectful and unsubmissive lady, my girlfriend is the headquarters of all the disrespectful and unsubmissive ladies I've ever met. Even if she does something good, I don't tend to notice it because her bad attitude has already overshadowed the good side of her

Even if she acts respectful to me, it's so obvious she's only forcing it since it's a trait she lacks. Just when a little brawl ensues, curses and abusive words are usually not far-fetched from her mouth. She has even insulted my family before during a heated argument. The only thing my girlfriend is yet to do is to beat me up

I believe they say respect is earned but I've done everything a man should do to earn respect from his lady yet this lady talks to me like a kid. No sign of humility at all

My girlfriend is not only dominating but toxic and does not accept correction. She makes it look like giving authority as a man is slavery and she questions my authority every time. The annoying part is that she argues a lot and always wants to be right at all times. Feminism is written all over her to the extent that even in movies, my girlfriend will have the back of a woman who is unsubmissive and disrespectful to an innocent husband.

Although she acts like a respectful girlfriend in the presence of my family but my mom in question is smart enough to know that she's only faking it despite trying all my best to portray my girlfriend as someone that gives me joy in the face of my mom

Before my mom traveled to the UK in September, she sat me down up to three times and advised me to let go of this girl if I really want to spend the rest of life with peace of mind and that if I insist on marrying her, she doesn't have a choice than to respect my decision but she will remind me of her advice which I didn't yield to if I eventually end up as a frustrated man in the future

I've tried to terminate the relationship but she cries and makes the whole thing look like I don't love her and that if I do, I should be able to cope with her flaws. There was even a time she told me she doesn't have a choice than to respect me if I marry her and I was like WTF!

I have decided to call the relationship a quit once and for all since I'm not in for any future drama. I don't want to end up with a woman that will be rude and disrespect me in the face of my own children.

But there's one question I want to ask is that, can a ride girlfriend ever change after marriage? Is it worth taking the risk that she will change with time?