₦airaland Forum

Hi guys

I’m 29 about to be 30. I met a guy from delta when I was 21. Im a Yoruba girl. We had a child together we got engaged, but no marriage up until now. We live in the UK and unfortunately he didn’t have his permanent stay. I never saw this as a big deal then, I guess I was young and inexperienced. So that has been his excuse for no marriage all these years as he is not settled. He is able to stay in the because of our child but there’s still some complications around it. My parents have not been happy about this, but what can they do as we already have a child together. They are not too fond of him and his background.

Something in me is telling me to move on with my life as I’m not seeing any signs of seriousness in him. He is 38 with a lot of confusion about the direction his life will take. Career wise he is still very lost. He has some bad habits that he does (smoking,drinking etc) that I’ve been telling him over the years to give up, but to no avail. He claims that I am reason why he’s not progressing as all I do is nag. I have really tried to see the good in him, by trying to bring the best out of him but unfortunately the older I get, the more I realise that this may have been a mistake from the beginning.
I refuse to have another child for him until he changes and we get married. He uses this against me and has told me twice he will get another woman pregnant since he cannot control me.

I’m not perfect but I have really tried to direct him. Sometimes I ask myself the possibilities of marrying with a child and what my reality will be. I’m a student nurse hoping to make something of my life. I also work part time. Currently he moved out of the house we were living in months ago because we were always arguing. There have been efforts to try to reconcile but it always ends up in arguments. I need some advice on what to do next.

.