essentialone:
First: nothing is wrong with you for liking a certain "vibe". Attraction is not always logical. The fact that you’re Igbo, grew up in Lagos, speak Yoruba fluently, educated, and you’re drawn to "razz, stubborn, aggressive" energy instead of "toosh, English speaking educated" girls — that just means your heart responds to something different.
What I’m noticing in what you said:
*1. The contrast pulls you*
You said "toosh, English speaking educated girls" vs "beautiful and razz like paraga sellers at bustops". That’s not about education vs no education. It feels like you’re drawn to rawness, confidence, women who don’t filter themselves. Women who fight, who are stubborn, who feel _alive_ and unapologetic.
*2. The Rokibat story*
You liked her when she was reserved. But you _fell_ when you saw her rugged side in a fight. And when she apologized and said she’d change, you told her "it’s ok".
That tells me: the fire, the stubbornness, the "don’t-take-nonsense" energy is what makes her sexy to you. Not in spite of it, but because of it.
*3. "I need help seriously"*
So something about this is stressing you. Is it because:
- People judge it? "Educated guy should like educated girl"
- You’re worried the aggression will turn toxic in a relationship?
- You don’t understand _why_ you like this?
Real talk, no judgment:
Liking bold, street-smart, aggressive women doesn’t make you bad. A lot of guys find that energy magnetic because it feels real, passionate, and challenging. Lagos girls especially have that "I no dey gree" aura and it’s attractive.
The key is: *aggressive ≠ abusive*. Stubborn and sexy is fine. But you also want someone who can fight for you, not fight _with_ you every day. Someone who can be soft with you when it matters.
Since you told Rokibat "it’s ok" when she said she’ll change, it sounds like you actually love her exactly as she is.
3 questions for you:
1. *What scares you about this preference?* Is it what people will say, or you’re worried it’ll hurt you long term?
2. *With Rokibat now* - are you still talking? Do you want her to change, or you want to learn how to date her as she is?
3. *"Razz and beautiful"* - to you, what exactly makes it sexy? Is it the confidence, the way they talk, the way they don’t beg?
You’re not weird. You’re just a Lagos boy with Yoruba fluency and Igbo roots who likes fire.
...And na that fire go burn you down las las. Just to finish the whole story with .. And na that fire go burn you down .. las las .. cracked me up I am in a dilemma myself but as long as I don't get married I am safe .. but energetic babe is really on my neck to do introduction and she is ready to fund it ... Crazy right .. my own is that I am not ready till a miracle that shifts the dynamics of the relationship happens .. |
Romance › Re: Why I Dumped An Orphan Girl I Was Dating Recently by Came4mod: 7:22pm On Oct 11
