₦airaland Forum

my child has a mother. the father left. he has a mother and a sperm donor.

yes i have changed my mind on the name anyway. but i am surprised to hear how much people are prepared to let a child suffer in order to comfort a man who doesn't care if the child has enough food. they are not your accessories to be taken to nandos on sunday afternoons. in any case i will be far away by the time the child is born and the father will not see it or know how to find us and i feel fine about explaining to the child why i made that decision. no father who is not at the birth of his child has the right to put his name on the certificate and im not sure why that is bad for the kid. why does he need a name on a piece of paper? social convention? the same society that tells me a man can leave his child and still have rights? he can go find his dad if he wants when he's 16 and i am no longer able to protect him and im sure he will be able to juedge for himself whether or not i was right not to include him in our lives.

what on earth is going on in men's heads these days? a man should be allowed to abandon his child before its birth, but come along later for the fun part and still get to be part of it? surely if a man cares about his child at all, he watches over that child's mother? madness. yes i am sure i will get along a lot better without a stupid man in my life, which by the divorce statistics, a lot of women are finding. With your lack of recpect for your families, men are making yourselves redundant.

This storey only shows how destructive it is to a woman to be sexually abused by those who are supposed to love her. There is no point hating the mother as she is a victim of men too. The only one who deserves hatred here is the man who did it. Well done to his daughters for protecting more young girls it must have been a terrible thing to have to do and I hope they and their families are able to move on in a positive way. The more we speak out about this, the sooner we can end it and no women will accept it as being somehow normal.

hey all,

I am pregnant and the father has left me. Thus I would like to ignore the traditional naming patterns of his family and chose my own name for the baby. I thought of Beko for that reason but I realise that is more 'the father hasn't named this child' from the dad's point of view, ie saying he doubts the kid is his. Is there some female equivalent, like 'Mama says father may not name this child'? Because I dont want to give him an air of illigitimacy so much as freedom from this bad man.