₦airaland Forum

Very awful foundation

Sapasenator:
Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

Brother...i deeply sympathize with you. God will judge

[quote author=Rubyjade post=133505440][/quote]If the salary they want to pay is not what you discussed and you feel uncomfortable about it, don't take the Lord offer.

If you can manage for 3-6 months...plan your life, pray , get new ideas. All will be well

This your new job does not make sense

He tried

Hallelujah ....the head of the serpent must be cut

Ok

I think the government should regulate house rent in Nigeria

A tun de ooo

APOPTOSIS:
Ikpeazu has really become an Ikpeazu.
Mind the name you give to your kids.

What does Ikpeazu mean?

NobleStag007:
Laughing..

Afghanistan... Taliban (sect)
Iraq... Shia (sect)
Iran..Shia (sect)


Of course, you'll like their Sharia. You're brothers


It's expected for you to hate real Sharia (Saudi)

you didn't say anything about saudi?

Well, the IDF went for their target

Hummm

Dd

They will replay the match

NobleStag007:
Do you want to steal?
Do you want to fornicate?

WHY are you complaining

Sharia law is best practiced in Afghanistan,Iraq, and Iran

Even Saudi does not practice the barbaric law

Under this current administration, no Nigerian is free

What does that mean ?

The great TINUBULATION

30m so that people wont be able to pay and then kill them and sell their blood to evil people

No freedom of speech again... people are suffering and you expect them not to speak up?

Very bad...tell it not in Gad... publish it not in the street of Askelon

Radaada

For me, it has to be Iniesta...it is difficult to hate inesta.

I DON'T LIKE BARCELONA.

Wrong...

It should be Oshodi Fruit Market

Feldie:
Dating is different from marrying. She will not be expected to perform wifely duties. She gets sex from the married man and also get money. Doesn't have to wash his clothes, cook for him, carry his baby inside her womb, feed it with her breast, get scolded for not returning early from the market to come and cook. If you are a married woman and your husband is irresponsible and useless, divorce him and look for a rich married man to date

you are the most terrible person I have ever seen

You can't have Yakubu as INEC chairman, have Tinubu as president and expect a free and fair election

Of what use is it to an average nigerian?

Better than Balloon d'or . Fifa award has more value than a Newspaper's award

Exousiang01:
Please go and read and understand how BAT works then come back and delete this nonsense you wrote.

How can you be a adult in Nigeria and not know how tax works.?
Who told you Lagos collects all the VAT
Who told you it's not FG that collects the VAT?

If I don't know maybe you should educate me. If you read this article you won't type the rubbish you typed.