₦airaland Forum

@ all Thanks very much. It is very comforting to read all your views.

I ignored him for three days, i did not make it to the end of the third day so i decided to call him(he called 3x i did not respond)
we had about an hr conversation. i think i was practically trying to get him to let me go.i told him how i felt about him and how he has hurt me tremendously without any reason. he said he's as confused as me that he's sorry. I asked if he's in love with Ex he said no, so i probed for the reason of the confusion but i did not get anything out of him. He did not say anything new. all he said was i want to be with u but give me time to sort myself out. i asked what he'll be sorting since he's sure of who he wants to be with and is not in love, all he said was u are trying to get me to lie to u and i don't want to lie to u. i asked if he was still seeing ex he replied "kind of". That was the end of the conversation for me.

A part of what i feel for him died during this conversation because i realized the level of his selfishness.  Is this what i'm supposed to go through before meeting the right person?

@ wale, i'm as comfortable as him, and will be even more within the next couple of months

@ sweet T

i'm sorry about everything. i'm glad you survived your ordeal.  i hope u meet a good woman someday.

@ sweet T, rachiwise and all, thanks for the advice.

I will try to patch the pieces of my heart and move on one day at a time. Right now everything is bleek to me. Just looking at my planner makes me cry cuz i don't know what those days hold for me. I'm scared. I gave him the best of me, i guess my best was not good enough. I will try to move on

@ sweet T

I'll be 25 in october

@ all thanks for your advice.

I'm really hurting. had it been he told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore, i would have gladly moved on. The fetish thing and letting her down slowly was said by an older woman who is from their tribe. He hasn't really said anything about the girl. All he said was that a lot of people were begging him to take her back and he gave in after a while. He said i should give him a couple of weeks to sort himself out. i asked if i could acept advances from other guys during this period he Said no that we are still together. So he hasn't really said anything about the girl per se.

The pain i'm going through knows no bound. Sometimes when i wake up and see the morning i break down and cry because i don't know how i'll go through the day. It hurts greatly. It hurt more because all those times he was giving me excuses of working, he was spending time with someone else.

People are telling me that the girl is not important to him. because when i saw both of them he came outside and stayed with me, that the fact that he came outside to beg me instead of going inside to beg her means he care about me.

The only reason i'm giving him a second thought is because he is the first stable guy i've ever dated. so naturally i though maybe i've finally met the one. I'm confused. i'm thinking even if things were to work out, is this the time of person i want to be with? i'm trying to move on but IT IS REALLY HARD

my boyfriend and i were having problems. At least i was having problem with him. I felt like he wasn't putting too much effort as in putting quality time for us to be together. I felt like his excuse of " working" was man made. In short, i thought he could be seeing someelse. so i broke up with him. We were apart for three weeks before getting back to together. A couple of days into it i asked if he was seeing someone else, he said " kind of" that they are just friends and are not sleeping together. He said i should stop worrying. I probed on, he said that he wants to be with me but that i should give him time to sort himself out. During this time we'll still be together

Anyway, i called him three nigths ago, he did not pick up. I was so sad  because i really love this guy. I decided to go to his place. On getting there i buzz the door bell and a lady answered, she questioned me for a while before opening the door. I got to his front door and knocked, the same lady opend with A WHOLE LOT of attitude syaing this is X wife, how may i help u. I was lost for words. i politely told her to get X for me that i needed to get something from him, she slammed the door on me about three times


He finally came out he was dripping with water so i guess he was in the shower. He asked me to come inside, i said no. I asked him to give me my stuff( about 12 naija movies) that i never want to see his face again. HE said no. So i left and he followed me. He was begging me. he said this is what he was trying to tell me but wanted to sort it out before telling me.
We stood out there for a long time . The girl came out twice to ask him to come inside but he didn't.

He still wants to be with me, wants me to give him some time while he sorts himself out. I have been crying for one week now. Everyone is telling me to hold on. That the girl ( his ex, she use to call and threaten me. The girl use to call the whole community to beg him, i guess she succeeded. they are from the same tribe.) is fetish that he needs to let her down gently. People who don't know me are sending this message to me. Please dear people. what do i do under this circumstance. I am extremely hurt. Should i move on? i have never known this much pain in my whole life. My heart burns, the pain hurts. Do u guys think he cares about me? or is he eating his cake and having it too?

Sorry it's too long. but i want u guys to know every detail.