₦airaland Forum

I'm a south African girl and this is MY opinion. im25

I wouldnt say im "crazy" about naija guys (coz crazy sounds a bit too overzealous) BUT

I do find them attractive because
They generally look more masculine[/b]to me since they are usually [b]taller and have a more athletic build than South African guys
They have[b] Handsome[/b] strong facial features
and they tend to dress and think more maturely.
whereas South African guys can be immature and selfish
and even though they look good they are normally quite short and some of them look too pretty/dainty like girls...
they also act like girls. They are petty, they complain, they gossip and they wanna be taken care of like little flowers.

however there's also cons to Nigerian guys eg:
They tend to pretend to hear you speak but, they don't really listen they just do whatever they like.
They can be a little too strong and impatient when coming onto you which can be scary
and Some of them are very shady and secretive.
whereas SA guys:
They Are a little more sensitive and controllable..a little
apart from the nut heads they are generally respectful of physical/sexual boundaries
Although they think they are slick, they are quite predictable

greetings all

I'm a young south african woman, 25 years old to be exact, and i love good people from anywhere the world. I'm currently single which means im open to meeting some and thankfully I don't have any prejudice against anyone . recently, However, I've been having negetive interactions with Nigerian men in particular but I decided that before I write them off completely I should do my research and see if perhaps there's a misunderstanding due to a Cultural difference or something. I also think describing my personality might be beneficial because then you can also tell me if it's just me or not. I'm hoping to get a lot of response From nigerian women too so you can tell me from your own experience.

If you know me you'll know that I'm a bit of a Tomboy and a Music Geek. I have good male friends, in fact, I find that I get along better with guys than with girls. I'd say, atleast, I'm not completely unfamiliar to the ways of men. I'm also a music producer so the type of guys I'm surrounded by are usually your hip hop loving, slang talkin, sneakers n tattoos americanised types. because of this I tend to be a lil playful and silly since my friends are bit immature at times. I, personally, feel that the guys around my vicinty don't make for a good partner and, even though I love my lil trapheads, I tend to be more attracted to the business-type guys instead. I like them because they seem responsible, capable and organised unlike me who's a complete joker and goofball. I think this is why i find myself being attracted to nigerian men coz usually the nigerian men that come to South Africa always look so polished and debonair.

Things usually go well in the beginining when i date a nigerian guy since they usually seem sweet and they shower you with compliments, They usually claim to be God-Fearing and normally they will pay the bill at the restuarants ( even though they forget to open doors Lol). Nigerian guys tend to love spending money on girls and making you feel beautiful but, so far, I feel like that's about it. It always falls apart for me i feel like everything ,whoever they guy is, did was insincere and that he was just trying to get into my pants. It always feels like when a Nigerian guy is nice to you or spends money on you it comes with the expectation of sex or something. It makes me feel dirty like im some prostitute or something. I hate feeling that way so usually I end up offering to pay the bill which I wish I didn't have to do because i like it when a guy spoils me, Not because he has to but becuase he wants to. I feel like they turn the relationship into a transaction and it really hurts my feelings. It gets even more scary when they started getting aggressive with you as if you actually owe them something .

I've been in a situation, twice, with a nigerian guy where I thought he was going to rape me becuase i would not give him sex . He felt entitled simply because got me a birthday present ,something really cheap by the way but I didn't mind coz he didn't earn as much as i do. I told him he was a creep and never saw him again. The other guy thought he deserved sex because he used his energy to come see me . I sent him back with an uber all expenses paid and he never heard a word from me again !! Now I have anxiety whenever a nigerian guy approaches me coz i'm afraid i'll get raped!! . I know this isn't fair to think about all nigerian men but, its not that I think every nigerian guy is a rapist, it's just that i'm afraid that becuase we dnt understand each other and our dating styles I might end up getting hurt. At first I was blaming myself a bit coz im a shy person and when the guys were being all handsy I wasnt agressive. I didn't think I had to fight for him to stop. I thought a simple No would satisfy but maybe they thought I was playing hard to get (which is bullshit). What would you say is the best way for me to handle Nigerian men if a want a successful relationship.