₦airaland Forum

eyinjuege:
My advice, try and make enough money so you can have assisted fertilization, using a donor sperm.
Of course, whoever you plan to propose to should know about your challenges and your plans.
Meanwhile, while at it, try and find out the cause of your infertility. You need to see a urologist specialist

Thanks for your conern.I appreciate. I have done my research too. I intend to have a surgery to fix this soon, but not in Nigeria. I have met many urologist here and they only promise a 50/50 % chance of fixing ut succesfully. However, i have spoken to a few urologist in the US and they are very positive about correcting this.

The major issue is the fear for the fertility which is unrelated to the hypospadia. I hopefully will consult and find out other ways to work around that when i travel for surgery.
Thanks again

Khallyella:
Such a lovely and fragile man, If I was your ex, I'd never leave, not because we're attached together or inseparable, I just know how it feels to be left because of some situation, could make one very suicidal so I'm never to far from reach..

You have to be positive, stay prayerful, you have a minor problem & there's no cause for alarm, in fact, I don't see it as a problem, there are many options to choose from, Sperm donor, adoption & all, But trust me, God's got you & since you've not given up till this moment, you're strong to go through & get it over with..
Remember nothing's impossible for God? He hasn't forgotten your cares, be patient and hang in there, even if the belief you have in yourself is not strong enough, I believe in you & you'll be just fine.
Smile, Be happy, feed well & Trust God.

We Nairalanders love you

Thanks a million

selflessmaya:
OP, i'm so sorry to hear this, there are many nice girls out there who can never conceive for various reasons and there are many nice girls who are single mothers and there are a lot of babies in homes that have no one to love them. u can find yourself a girl who does not also want to live and be judged and u can both adopt as many babies as you want. having a genital defect is not the worst thing to live with, at least no one can see it when you're living your life and you're not constantly under spotlight, u can find yourself a very nice girl who holds no judgement at all and you will live happily with her and your children.

i'm not a religious nut and i wont tell u to call on god cos i think if god is watching, then he knew before this happened and he knows it's happening now, dont harbor false hopes about waking up with a new pe-nis, dont let ppl here fill your head with such false hopes. about getting surgery, if it cant fix your reproductive issues or if it can fix it or perhaps u want a fix just for aesthetic purposes, dont go into such an invasive procedure in nigeria, there's a lot of nerve damage or sensory malfunction involved in this and you might walk out unable to hold an erection for life, fly abroad if u want to get the best scientific help. if u cant/wont, some things you should just accept as hard and unfair as it might seem.

i really want to applaud you for being selfless in all of this, for having the responsibility to inform your ex-partner and to refrain from new partners to avoid complications. find an understanding partner OP, some girls have reproductive issues too and they dream of finding a man like you who will not hold them to expectations they cannot fulfill, there are many of them everywhere, even on this site who might not have the exact same issues as u but have their own baggage too, find her and you will both love each other for every flaw and for every goodness you both possess. don't give up on yourself, you'll be happy in the end.

Thank you Selflessmaya

Lunagirl:
There is ALWAYS somebody for everyone. It would shock you the type of people that still find partners. You need to keep your chin up, shoulders raised and be happy. If you need a friend, you can dm me and we'd talk some more. It is definitely not the end of life.

.
Thank you Lunagirl.

pu7pl3:
Surgery is usually recommended for hypospadias, with the
goal to restore normal appearance and function to the
penis. A urinary opening that is not surrounded by glans
tissue is more likely to “spray” the urine, which can cause a
man to sit to urinate because he cannot reliably stand and
hit the toilet. Downward curvature of the penis can impair
sexual activity as an adult.
Surgery extends the urinary channel to the end of the penis,
straightens bending, and corrects the foreskin abnormality
by either circumcision or by repairing it to look normal
(“prepucioplasty”), depending on the desire of care-givers.
When the hypospadias is third degree (penoscrotal), or has
associated birth defects such as chordee or cryptorchidism,
the best management can be a more complicated decision.
A karyotype and endocrine evaluation should be performed
to detect intersex conditions or hormone deficiencies. If the
penis is small, testosterone or human chorionic
gonadotropin (hCG) injections may be given to enlarge it
before surgery.


Ur only little challenge might be finance

Thanks a lot for communicating. I have discussed some of these options with the Doctors abroad. We are very positive of reconstruction mostly for aesthetic purposes.

We will see what options are open to us for the fertilty issue if it's more complicated that is envisaged presently. I don't intend to see any Doctor here in Nigeria anymore.

I have been happier since i put this post up here and you wonderful ladies and gentlemen are the reason. You've been so friendly and thoughtful with all your kind words. I am lost for words on how to Thank you all. I can't quote everyone here, but i really do appreciate you.

Essentials1:
I believe hypospadias can be treated and the condition repaired... Also, there are other alternative ways to produce children as science as evolved. I believe that you gave up on yourself too soon and you should not... If I had this condition such as you did, I would have gone to heaven and earth and every research to find a way to repair it... I just did a little checking and found out that there is a way out... and I believe you should look into that.

What you will need is a real woman as many Nigerian women are not strong enough to stand with a man through this kind of trial (one that involves children)... I have said enough.

where is FitnessDoctor when you need him.

Hey Bro. Thanks for writing to me. I appreciate. I have done my research too. I intend to have a surgery to fix this soon, but not in Nigeria. I have met many urologist here and they only promise a 50/50 % chance of fixing ut succesfully. However, i have spoken to a few urologist in the US and they are very positive about correcting this.

The major issue is the fear for the fertility which is unrelated to the hypospadia. I hopefully will consult and find out other ways to work around that when i travel for surgery.
Thanks again

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your words of advice and encouragement.

alexialin:
Wow, never knew something like that exist.

But you can live a normal life. How? Marry a single mother of 3 or 4kids or divorcee with kids. I bet she won't be thinking of having more kids. Simply take her children as yours, but make sure u do proper findings on their dad or dads.
If all is clear? You have a wife and kids.
A well known pastor called Okotie cannot have kids. He is well aware of it. Although he got married to a single mum with kids, unfortunately their marriage didnt last due to reasons best known to them.
So u can actually have your own family, just look out for single mums with more than one kid.

Thank you alexialin

Lalasticlala or any other mod could help me push this to the frontpage so i can reach out to more people. Someone out there might want to share a thought with me. Mynd44

ScotFree:
You will find someone who might accept you as you. Trust me. Don't give up. Keep chasing your dreams. Let the pursuit and achivements of your dreams keep your mind and thought occupied. This part of your life will be settled somehow.

I'll do just as you advice, i have tried to a lot of time but it's so heavy and very much there in my everyday life, always staring me in the face, that it's hard to always ignore. Thanks anyway

fuckerstard:
Bro, that is very rare. I don't know what to say mehn. I hope you find someone with a similar story.

That's deep!

Thanks man

Hello Nairalanders, i am not new here. I actually had to create a new account to protect my identity due to the sensitive nature of what i intend to post here.

I am 32, male and a Nigerian. I had a birth defect, Hypospadia and my parents never actually took me to the hospital, i guess they never were enlightened enough to know what to do. This Condition has affected me emotionally since i was mature enough to recongise that i was a bit odd down there. I don't hang out in public bathrooms while i was in the univeristy, i do not pee where other guys are cos they might notice something awkward. I have lived a very secretive and painful life.

But the most shocking thing occured when i went for a test years ago and realised i could not get a girl pregnant, somehow by some crazy luck of nature, i do not produce virile sperm cells.

I was dating when i discovered this, and i could not keep it to myself. I couldn't be selfish to bring my girl into a life of childlessness. I somehow told her and she left. Which i totally understand and do not hold an iota of grudge against her. I since haven't gone into any relationship again for i do not intend to lose anymore and experience another heartbreak, neither do i want to hide it till i marry and trap any woman.

But everyday it hurts, i seem to be fading away slowly, i imagine being alone forever, no wife, no lover, no children.

I just want to know if there is anyone out there who has a similar story, how are you coping, what are your plans?

Please talk to me.

Send me a PM if you want to chat anonymously.