₦airaland Forum

Bitcoin1000:
Emmanuel Udom

i didnt see any Udom on d pitch

Victor moses.They way d guy plays just dey give me joy
We really missed him in d last match

This one don play im penalty go throwing

Dey will stil buy gucci cap for 70k untop a head dah doesn't hav sense in it...

Today is the end of August
Today is the end of poverty
Today is the end of sorrows
Today is the end of rejection
Toady is the end of joblessness
Today is the end of bad things happening
to you May your prayers be answered as we
approach the month of September
From today. the blessing of the Lord which maketh rich
and adds no sorrow shall be upon you and your family...IJN AMEN
...............................................................

There are three things which are a mystery unto me, yea 4 which I do not know;

(1) The way Neymar makes over $200 million in 8 years
(2) The way Mayweather makes in 56 minutes more than Neymar makes in 8 years
(3) The way Deziani is probably richer than both Neymar and Mayweather combined
(4) The reason I went to school

Biafra has 6 letters. Nigeria has 7 letters.
Nigerian civil war was 1967. Buhari has 6
letters and Ojukwu also has 6 letters. Obama has 5 letters. Nigeria has 36
states. There are 3 markets around my area.
We have 2 eateries close to my house. By the time you realize that this post has no
meaning, it's already too late for you, and you can't do me anything.I just wasted your time,
I'm not even at home so you won't even see me to beat me

*Now that Jamb cut off mark is 120*

*My body has been doing me somehow that they would reduce FIRST CLASS to 2.5.*

���

Trousers wey i go buy 2500 for market

*Floyd Mayweather vs Connor McGregor*

Saturday 26th August, 2017 at T-Mobile arena in Las Vegas, NV US.

Ticket: *$80,200.00*
Me: $80,20.00 *just to watch a match?* $80,200 × 315 = ₦25,263,000. Somebody better *die* in that ring.

Even the match between David and Goliath was *free.!!!*

I was in 10th
She was in 10th.

I was in 12th
She was in 12th.

I got BSc
She got BCa

I was doing MSc
She got married.

I was preparing for JRF
She's the mother of 1 child.

I got PhD
She's the mother of 2 children.

I am doing PhD
Her daughter is in 1st standard

I became doctorate
Her daughter is in 10th

I have joined job
Her daughter has joined college

And the greatest Irony!
Today is my engagement
And her daughter is my fiancee.

I will never join science in my next life!!

I love this Story, this is the funniest thing I'm reading this week! ������

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.

He could not control his curiosity and asked,

"Do you always carry your TV remote with you?�"

She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote."

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies.....*�������

The story continues....�

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased.

Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card.........."������

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*����������

Story continues....

Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

*Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues...

After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'.......

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues....

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman!*�����

Story continues....

On getting home, his car was gone.�����

A note was pasted on the door

"Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something".����

Dawn... He left with the house key too.

����

*Moral: Don't try to control your husband.
You will always lose�������

Wizkid did it in 24hrs

O tigba penalty lo throwing

Later on,dem go talk say afonja no fit fight

Life is really crazy
I am really tired seriously.
​You dream that u have a car,​ when u wake up, u have nothing!
​U dream that u have money,​ when u wake up, u have nothing!
​But try to dream that u're urinating, that's when ur dreams come true

Chisos see tooth gap

Under 20 with wife and kid? Issokay

1. Most of the guys that say they don't date
fat girls have fat mothers.
Be humble like your dad
_________________
2. It's better to sit in a bar thinking about God
than to sit in a church thinking about beer
_______________
3. Have you ever been next to people who
gossip so much that you're even scared of
leaving them cause you know you're next
_______________
4. The man who marries a beautiful woman
and the farmer who grows corn by the
roadside have thesame problem...
__________________
5. Some females are so afraid of killing
cockroaches but they already did 5 abortions
__________
6. You will see a 13 year old girl posting stuff
like "I want to forget everything and move on"
forget what little sister?...
(The multiplication table?)
_____________
7. A man is the head of the family, & a
woman is the neck that turns the head
(smiles)
_______________
8. Treat every part of your towel nicely
because the part that wipes your buttocks
today may wipe your face tomorrow (Real
fact)
_________________
9. If a girl dumps you because you don't
have money and after you have made money...
She comes back begging...
My brother... Forgive her... Promise her
marriage... Tell her family that you want to
renovate their house... Remove their roof and
DISAPPEAR
_____________
10. When you see a poor man eating chicken,
he is either sick or the chicken was sick ( I
am a witness)
Which number makes u smile

Letter to buhari

Dear buhari...firstly I congratulates you on your arrival back to Nigeria...secondly I want to warn you pls don't chuk your mouth on top ASUU matter...we Non Academic Nigerian students have decided that we don't want to resume now....just give us like two weeks after sallah...then you can chuk your mouth in the matter....Thank you and we wish you travel soon.....


Signed..The president...NON ACADEMIC NIGERIAN STUDENTS (NANS)

Letter to buhari

Dear buhari...firstly I congratulates you on your arrival back to Nigeria...secondly I want to warn you pls don't chuk your mouth on top ASUU matter...we Non Academic Nigerian students have decided that we don't want to resume now....just give us like two weeks after sallah...then you can chuk your mouth in the matter....Thank you and we wish you travel soon.....


Signed..The president...NON ACADEMIC NIGERIAN STUDENTS (NANS)

1014602-987885

Code to join my fantasy league: 1014602-987885

Code to join my fantasy league: 1014602-987885

Code to join my fantasy league: 1014602-987885

Code to join my fantasy league: 1014602-987885

Code to join my fantasy league: 1014602-987885

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.

The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.

The client went into his room, he didn't ask for food or anything else.

Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.

After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client's room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.

The boss didn't sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.

In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.

He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.

The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.

The boss was in a shock but he didn't reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.

After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.

The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.

This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.

Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn't leave his face.

The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife In fact, the boss didn't arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.

The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.

To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.

The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.

In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.

-''If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?''
-''I promise I will never let anyone know''.
-''Swear''
-''I swear I won't reveal your secret''
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.

Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Until now he hasn't revealed his secret to anyone.

When he does, I will let you know... thank you for reading.

These six things baffles me, the last one dey shock me.

1.NEPA using a generator.
2. The Chairman of Okada Union driving an SUV
3. The Chief Executive of Tecno using an Iphone.
4. The CEO of Innoson driving a Range Rover
5. The Nigeria Police using a chain on their generator to prevent theft
6. The President of Nigeria residing in London.

Dude isnt funny atall,just lucky

Jonathan made a promise he couldnt fulfill