₦airaland Forum

NaijaNaWaa:
I hear say na one young Ebonyi man owns Enviable. Obi Cubana, Seyi Tinubu errand boy na him brand ambassador. How true is that?

Love800:
Where did you go to get it pls. At a driving school?

oarowosola:
Honestly, you guys are funny as hell. Some of the roasts had me laughing, some were annoying, but overall I enjoyed reading the comments.

But one thing I need people to understand is this, I didn’t come here because I was looking for relationship advice. At the point I made that first post, my mind was already made up. I was already mentally done with the relationship long before I even typed anything.

The reason I shared the story was mostly because I was exhausted mentally, and I also wanted people to see how extreme certain situations can get in relationships. Sometimes people think you’re exaggerating until you start explaining the details.

Truth be told, this breakup didn’t happen overnight.

I had already been thinking about ending things for a very long time. The only thing holding me back was the fact that she is actually an amazing person in some ways. She has a soft heart, and I knew breaking up with her was going to hurt her deeply, so I kept trying to find the best possible way to do it without completely destroying her emotionally.

But the events of that final weekend just pushed me over the edge.

The way she left my kitchen after staying over, combined with everything that happened the night before, was what finally made me snap internally. It wasn’t that I suddenly realized all the issues that day. No. Those things had been building up in my mind for months.

Before I eventually sent the breakup message, I had already started emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. I stopped calling as much, stopped texting often, and stopped engaging the way I used to. She noticed it too. She kept asking what was wrong, and I would just say I’m fine, even though she knew something was clearly off.

Eventually I realized I couldn’t keep dragging it out forever. I didn’t want to keep pretending while mentally checking out. So I finally sent her a message telling her I was no longer interested in continuing the relationship.

At first, she was shocked.

She kept asking how someone could end a relationship of over a year through text without explanation. She asked if there was another person involved. She begged me not to ignore her. She said she was trying to stay calm because she was outside in public.

Honestly, reading those messages affected me because despite everything, I’m still human. I’m not heartless.

So instead of completely shutting her out, I told her we could talk later because I was busy with work at that moment.

Later that night, I finally picked up her call.

And for the first time, I explained everything fully.

I explained how draining the relationship had become for me mentally. I explained how uncomfortable I constantly felt because of the difference in our lifestyles, hygiene, responsibilities, communication patterns, effort, and overall approach to life.

I explained the incidents that stayed in my head for months, the constant untidiness, the dirty environments, the financial imbalance, the times I felt taken for granted, the moments I cleaned her entire house just to prove that basic cleanliness was not impossible.

And no, cleaning her house was never a sign of weakness or simping to me.

I did it because I loved her.

I genuinely believed maybe if I showed her how simple it was to maintain a clean environment, things would improve. That was all. But instead, things kept repeating themselves over and over again.

I also explained how frustrating it felt to constantly give financially, emotionally, and physically while feeling like the same level of thoughtfulness wasn’t being returned consistently.

By the end of the call, she broke down crying and started apologizing repeatedly. She begged me to give her another chance. She promised she would change. She promised she would work on herself and become better.

And honestly… I softened.

Maybe because deep down, despite everything, I still cared about her.

So I gave her another chance, but I made myself very clear.

I told her this wasn’t about pretending for one week or acting differently temporarily because she got called out. I told her real change has to become natural. Cleanliness, responsibility, effort, and self awareness cannot be something you perform temporarily just to save a relationship.

I told her:

“Please change for yourself, for your future kids, and for me too. Don’t just act differently now and later return to old habits. Let it become part of you naturally.

As a lady, I honestly expected you to even be correcting me on certain things, not the other way around. I’m putting a lot on the line emotionally, and I don’t want to regret my decisions later in life.

I’m not saying this like I’m doing you a favor. There are billions of men better than me, just like there are women better than you. Nobody is irreplaceable. But while two people are trying to build something meaningful together, both people should be actively working on themselves.

You are free to call out my own flaws too because I’m not a perfect human being. Relationships are supposed to be about growth, accountability, and complementing each other. The moment two people stop growing and start merely tolerating bad patterns, the relationship slowly becomes exhausting instead of peaceful.”


So yeah… that’s the full update.

Some people roasted me in the first post. Some understood me immediately. Some thought I was overreacting. Some thought I was being too soft.

But at the end of the day, nobody truly understands how emotionally draining a relationship can become until they experience living inside that reality themselves.

Kalulu44:
Hmmmm..... That's true man. We're hearing a rumor that it's one woman whose husband owned the house directly in front of our house that's doing the gossip.
Last month, a regular guest that no longer comes again told me on the way that the woman close to us whose husband owns the house and is a prominent member of the community is the one telling people's wife what they're doing, especially the ones that comes to our guest house.
That she used it to brag to them how her husband doesn't do such but theirs are wayward.
.
And this is a woman uptil now I hold in high esteem o. I'm the one that helps her charge her phone and power banks including her husband's own and husband sister's own.
The only benefit I gets from her is that she sold foodstuffs to me anytime I want whether there's money with me or not.
But at the end of month, I still pay what is still owed.
Lastly! Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate and God bless the works of your hand too

madridguy:
We can only pray for his family for comfort, but he rest assured his killers will never go unpunished.

KiNg0G:
Over the years I have only had two friend in my entire life..I can't make new friends not like I care to. But I have always noticed since I was a teenager, people just stare and keep their distance. Like it starting to feel like I have some kind of demon that keeps people away at a far distance. I think I am the problem, I don't talk much.. I don't mingle, in fact I hate public settings and if you stare at me too much, from that day on me and you Will have beef in my mind... Because I might think you've heard one or two about me.

To cut this short, I am in my mid 30s right now and just can't help to notice like it seems I am the problem. I have lived in my current residence for 6years and not one single friend going down the street they all just stare. Men and women, boy's and girls...It's almost like my aura or the vibe I give is not welcoming, is keeping a straight face a bad thing..or is minding my business bad. It's almost like a spirit possessed me from childbirth keeping people afar.
Someone that I haven't talked to before might decide to keep malice with me like so many people.. frowning face whenever eyes meet and you can see from those eyes the hatred.
Like I wonder what's this problem.. meanwhile there's another guy right there who might be in same place and within a second knows everyone..I think this is spiritual

Nlfpmod

dokyOloye:
Mmili na-ari ugwu 🤣🤣

PDPdestroyer:
Only Ibos should vote in this online poll
Which would you choose, given these two options, on the condition that the occurrence of one makes the other an impossibility

oarowosola:
I met her sometime around April or May last year, and from the beginning, things seemed fine between us. Like every relationship, we both made sacrifices, and even though I don’t like keeping score in relationships, I know I gave a lot of myself into it. Over time, though, I started noticing certain habits and behaviors that became harder and harder for me to ignore. At first, I kept convincing myself that maybe I was overthinking things or expecting too much, but eventually I realized that I was simply becoming exhausted.

One of the biggest issues for me was cleanliness and basic responsibility. I’m not a perfect person, and I can be nonchalant too. I’m someone who enjoys my own space and doesn’t constantly need attention or communication. If someone is busy and doesn’t check up on me for a while, I honestly don’t take it personally. But what bothered me was the imbalance. She could disappear for days or weeks whenever she was occupied and expect me to understand, but if I withdrew into my own space just to protect my peace, she would become upset about it. That double standard was one of the first things that started weighing on me emotionally.

The first time I visited her house, I was shocked by how untidy it was. I’m not obsessive about cleanliness, but I believe there should be a basic level of order, especially when you know someone is visiting you for the first time. When she came to my place for the first time, I made an effort. I cleaned my house , mopped the floor, arranged the bed, and even bought small things just to make the environment more comfortable. It wasn’t about trying to impress her with money; it was simply intentionality. I wanted her to feel welcomed.

But each time I visited her place, the environment remained the same. One particular day, after she stepped out, I decided to clean the entire house myself just to prove a point. While sweeping, I found sugar inside the couch, rotting cashew scattered around, and several things that clearly caused unpleasant odors. I cleaned the parlour, arranged the bedroom, organized her bags, and put everything in order. When she came back, she thanked me, but I remember telling her that it shouldn’t get to the point where her boyfriend had to clean her entire house before it became livable. I told her clearly that if I visited again and the place was still in that condition, it would probably be the last time I came there.

Unfortunately, nothing changed. On another visit, the smell in the house was so terrible that I kept trying to trace where it was coming from. Eventually, I discovered a sack beside the couch she had been sitting on. Something inside it had gone bad, and the odor was unbearable. I carried it outside myself because I couldn’t understand how someone could stay in that environment comfortably. Later, when she went to make yam and eggs, I followed her into the kitchen and found another terrible smell coming from plates that had clearly been sitting there for days. Instead of cleaning the sink first, she simply pushed the dirty dishes aside and placed the yam directly on the dirty sink to peel it. In that moment, I felt completely traumatized and emotionally checked out.

Beyond cleanliness, I also started feeling unappreciated in the relationship. On her birthday, I called her early in the morning, posted her on my WhatsApp status, and celebrated her the best way I could at the time, even though I was broke. Yet she still complained that I didn’t make her birthday special enough. Meanwhile, on my own birthday, there was no call in the morning, no thoughtful gesture, nothing until later at night when she casually said she forgot because she had been going through a lot. What hurt me more was that I had actually bought her gifts for her birthday, including a designer bag and matching slippers I personally made for her. It wasn’t really about material things; it was the imbalance in effort and thoughtfulness.

I also noticed the same imbalance in everyday life. Whenever she visited my place, I was usually the one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things even while working from home as a shoemaker. Most times she would just sit pressing her phone while I handled everything. She barely cooked for me throughout the relationship, and eventually I stopped going out of my way because I started feeling taken for granted.

Money became another issue. She would borrow money and either delay repayment or never complete it. As a shoemaker, the money I receive for jobs is not pure profit because most of it goes back into materials and production. Yet I still found myself lending her large amounts from jobs I was supposed to complete quickly. Even when she paid back partially, it felt emotionless, almost like she didn’t recognize the inconvenience it caused me.

The final straw happened recently when she visited me during a very busy work period. She suggested we spend the night in a hotel even though my house was already comfortable, and I agreed. I paid for the room, and when food was ordered later that night, I still ended up paying almost everything despite already spending heavily on the hotel. The next day, after returning from the market exhausted from buying materials for work, I expected to at least meet food at home since all the ingredients were available. Instead, I walked into a kitchen with bread wrappers and milk sachets scattered around while she had already eaten without cleaning up after herself. I still ended up cooking for myself.

The following morning, after she made food during the night, she left the kitchen in complete disorder again. Pots, plates, and leftovers were everywhere while I woke up early to continue working. Rather than cleaning up, she sat watching TikTok videos. Eventually I had to pause my own work to clean the kitchen myself because I couldn’t stand the environment anymore. At that point, I realized I was mentally exhausted.

What made everything clearer for me was understanding that this wasn’t just about dirt or money. It was about incompatibility. I realized I was constantly carrying responsibilities that should have been shared. I’m not against people hiring cleaners or getting help. I also take some of my clothes to dry cleaners. But there’s a difference between getting assistance and being unable to handle basic responsibilities yourself. If someone who is meant to clean your house doesn’t show up, there should still be a basic ability to sweep, organize, remove trash, and maintain a healthy environment. I couldn’t understand depending entirely on other people for something so fundamental.

At some point, I stopped seeing peace in the relationship. I started feeling drained instead of supported. Even during intimate moments, she would make comments like, “If you leave me, I will haunt you,” and although she may not have meant it literally, those kinds of statements only made me more uncomfortable emotionally.

Eventually, I accepted the truth that we are simply not compatible. I don’t hate her, and I’m not trying to paint myself as perfect. I just know that I can no longer continue in a relationship where I constantly feel emotionally exhausted, unappreciated, and burdened. I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to argue, explain, or force things to work. I’ve already made up my mind that the relationship is over, and at this point, I just want to walk away peacefully and move on with my life.

What do you think? Be nice please

princepee:
if you know ego na ejeije na awka etiti,
You will know he was more than a billionaire