₦airaland Forum

Hello everyone, happy new year 2021
This is dannyla with a new account.
I just thought I should share an update on how things turned out 1yr+ later.

This thread was a bombshell to me, I got so much responses, I could feel the concern and pity of the commenters which I appreciate so much.

I made up my mind to leave him but I didn't know how, there was this fear about what he'll do if I leave. I didn't reply DMs because I didn't want to drag anyone in. First thing I tried to do was to be financially stable, I went back to my Business and got something going, it wasn't easy but remembering all he did gave me courage, it took me about 6months to be able to stand. Those months were hell as some of it were in the lockdown but I thank God for support, there were big fights cus he beat me up and tore my cheque book and my sister went to challenge him, he beat her up and her boyfriend got guys to beat him up as well.
He threatened my family and I reported him to the police and he had to sign an undertaking that he won't try anything funny, he called to say that he doesn't have to attack me physically and there are plenty spiritual means. I told him to do his worst. I had to fast for some days just to be careful.

Leaving him was like coming out of a shell after 3yrs, I was able to meet old friends and everyone wondered where I have been. Being able to talk to people on the road without some kinda fear of being interrogated later, being able to attend meetings, travel, hangout with friends, post pictures on social media etc felt like privilege from heaven.
I met nice men as well but I don't want to rush things, I still feel scared of any kinda relationship, I know they're not anything like him but I don't want to carry any toxic mentality to a new relationship cus I've almost forgotten how to be normal.

My advise to everyone out there is:
Stay away from narcissists, obsession is not love, it's a crazy and twisted feeling that breaks people.
There are thousands of good people out there, don't stay in an abusive relationship for anything.

If you're in an abusive relationship, know this: your abuser only has as much power as you let them wield, you can leave them and nothing will happen, they're not as powerful as they claim. Nobody will judge you and there are hundreds of good people waiting to meet you. If you don't leave, it won't get better, it'll keep getting worse till it ends in death. Trust me, that person is not the will of God for you, forget about all the prophesies saying otherwise. God speaks to everyone of us who cares to listen, He doesn't need to speak to a prophet somewhere concerning your marriage unless you ask him to. If I could leave my ex and stand, you can do so too, lots of love

Cc
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