Plantains Teacher: Kola, spell plantain Kola: whish one? the lipe one or the unlipe one? He asks "Which one? The ripe one or the unripe one?", some people (like me) have trouble with the 'r', and with some people, it sounds like an 'l' Teacher: what difference does it make? Just spell plantain! Kola: Teasha, If you fly the lipe one na 'DODO', if you fly the unlipe one na 'SHIPS' if you loast am, na 'BORLI' All of them na plantain, so whish one you wan make I spell?

A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlord’s son trying to commit suicide & a brief conversation ensued: Tenant: Akpos! Wetin you de do so? Akpos: I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey always complain say my life dey worthless! Tenant: That one no good now… but why you come tie de rope for your waist? Akpos: Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie de rope for neck, I NEARLY DIE! Bad Mood Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody. Soni goes over and asks; ‘Akpos, wetin happen?’. A very sad looking Akpos replied: ‘I borrow Rukewe N2million to do facial surgery, and now I no fit recognize am to collect my money back. Letter Bomb! Two boko Haram boys, Habib & Akpo are making letter bombs. Habib: “I’m not sure whether I put enough explosive in this envelope before I sealed it.” Akpo: “Well, then open it and look.” Habib: “But if I open it, it will explode!” Akpos: “Don’t be stupid – it’s not addressed to you! Today’s lesson at school is Animal science Teacher:wot is a baby lizard called? Akpos: a baby lizard is called lizzybaby. The Exam During the exam, Akpors kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying. When collecting the paper after the exam.. Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks. Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir? Teacher: For copying. Akpors: How do you know that I was copying? Teacher: I saw you looking under the table. Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said, “STUDY THE TABLE BELOW “. Akpos Papa Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do Akpos’ Teacher :- Your son no know book at all, He no fit spell ” LION ” Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah…You know say na SMALL pikin……You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like ” MOSQUITO

Did you know ? 1. MOSQUE has 6 letters so does CHURCH. 2. QURAN has 5 letters so does BIBLE. 3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD. … 4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE. 5. ENEMIES has 7 letters, so does FRIENDS. 6. LYING has 5 letters, so does TRUTH. 7. HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL. 8. NEGATIVE has 8 letters, so does POSITIVE. 9. FAILURE has 7 letters, so does SUCCESS. 10. BELOW has 5 letters, but so does ABOVE. 11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY. 12. ANGER has 5 letters, so does HAPPY. 13. RIGHT has 5 letters,so does WRONG. 14. RICH has 4 letters,so does POOR. 15. FAIL has 4 letters,so does PASS 16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 letters,so does IGNORANCE

Akpos a crippled was arrested in connection of stealing a big refrigerator. On judgment day a Judge from High Court said, “upon looking at you, i have seen that you cant be a thief due to your walking disability. So, since they have disgraced you and your CV has been destroyed i order you to take this refrigerator to be yours from today. Let it be your compensation”. Akpos thanked the Judge and with joy he jumped down from his hand bicycle. He crawled and took the refrigrator by the back going home. After he crawled about ten metres, the Judge said, “you have successfully shown us that you are indeed a thief. Now you are jailed for two years imprisonment with hard labour.

*Craze no hard to form,na the trekking be wahala. English translation : Easier said than done. *No matter how hot your temper be,e no fit boil beans. English translation: Calm down, your temper won’t solve the problem. *Chicken wey run from Borno go Ibadan go still end up inside pot of soup. English translation: You can’t run away from your destiny *Today’s newspaper na tomorrow Suya wrap. English translation: Keep calm! Nothing lasts forever. *Cow wey dey in a hurry to go America go come back as corn beef. English translation: Just be patient. Let the game come to you. Don’t rush! *Akara and moin moin get the same parent, na wetin dem pass through make dem different. English translation: How you start doesn’t matter, what matters is how you finish. *Leave matter for Mathias and Sabi for Sabinus. English translation: Give everyone what they deserve. *The difference between kpekere and plantain chips na packaging. English translation: Don’t judge based on appearance alone. *Escort me, Escort me, na im slave trade take start. English translation: Serious things sometimes start like a joke. *The water wey dem use take make eba can never be recovered back. English translation: Don’t cry over spilled milk.