₦airaland Forum

@hot-angel. Yeah..me and Tayo go back a long way...we used to flirt...maybe u ppl want to hear about it...if she's willing to talk about 'us' in the forum. Tayo what do u think?

Ioma, dat one about the NI-gandans was cool!

3 guys wanted to have a short chat with this cool black-american babe. unfortunately she lives on the 3rd floor and a creaky set of stairs leads to her room. To make matters worse, the father always sleeps downstairs with his old, rusty Ak47, guarding the beautiful girl against toasters.
On this fateful nite, the Chinese guy decided to go have a chat with her first. As the stairs started creaking, the father woke up and shouted..''who goes there?''...''meow'' said the chinese guy.

Getting back downstairs a while later, he explained to the other guys that it's easy...''just pretend you're a cat''.
The french guy went upstairs and on confrontation from the father, did a long ''meeeoooww''.
Finally, it was the turn of our Naija bros: as the stairs started to creak again, the father shouted..''who goes there?''....''It's the cat sir''...he replied.
Needless to say, he was sent back home in a body bag.

A blonde decided to kidnap a little boy in the park: she grabbed the boy and hurriedly scribbled a note in his pocket that says..''Your son has been kidnapped. Drop $10,000 on the park bench by noon tommorrow or else.....signed: The blonde'' and she promptly sent the boy home to his mother with the note.
By 11:00am the following day,$10,000 was waiting on the park bench with a note that says: ''dear kidnapper, here is the ransom money you demanded. It is cruel that one blonde will do such a thing to another!''

Ladies, ladies, so u mean flirting is not dangerous for men too?...esp married men?..u kept talking about how YOU 'go through' the consequences. See...whenever I'm on a looong fuel queue, i discovered tha i can shunt my car ahead towards the pump by simply flirting a litle bit wih the female pump attendant...my wife hates it of course, but hey it has it's rewards. Whatcha think?...Hey Tayo...nice to see u in here again!

A chinese man and his newly wedded, pretty chinese wife moved over to Nigeria to have a taste of Africa. After a while, the wife got pregnant and finally gave birth to a black baby! The chinese man named the baby...''SUM TIN WONG''

Ladies and gentlemen, I just finished watching ''Schindler's list'' ( Stephen Spielberg ), a few minutes ago. It sobered me. Has anyone here seen it?

@ ifrontier :Na wetin you dey find for her bele? I'll listen for the soundtrack and give my view on that.

Last week, I watched the ''Indiana jones triology'' all over again. I think Sean Connery is doing well in old age. I enjoyed ''the rock''. I've seen ''the league of Extra-ordinary gentlemen too''. But one of my best movies of all time is ''the game'' by Michael Douglas.

Enough about what we feel about this advert. Why don't we hear from the horse's mouth? Can somebody please help us drag Professor [I]Jewwy[/I] Gana into this forum so that we can know how his wife responds to the MTN advert?. Afterall...he was minister of (mis)information...

Talking about drivers...A man was driving his taxi from Port harcourt to lagos. He had a sticker in the car that said ''He will give his angels charge over me''
By the time time he got to warri, he was doing 135km/h. The passengers cautioned him, but he simply responded by saying...''don't you see the sign?, the angels are on guard''. He approached Benin on a speed of 185km/h. By this time the passengers got very nervous and decided to get down. Everybody except the driver disembarked and he decided to continue the journey to lagos alone. ''Mumu faithless people...they don't believe that angels are on guard, despite my sticker''...he said, as he drove on.
Nearing Ore, he was comfortably cruising at 215km/h...when he heard people in his car shoulting....''abeg oga drop us o..we no dey go again''...puzzled, he looked around...''sebi I dropped all my passengers in Benin..so na who dey talk?''
''Oga, drop us o..na we be the angels wey dey on guard...this one don become suicide mission we no dey guard again ooo!!!''

Needless to say, our man drove into lagos with a reasonable speed of 35km/hr.

Husband: This morning, my gift for you is sunshine...go ahead and grab it...I'm sending it on MTN mms...

Wife: Abeg shut up dere...na sunshine we go chop? Wayo man.

And that, my friends, is a Naija woman. QED. ( Engineer Femi should know the meaning of QED ) . Ra...you were saying...you will accept ONLY sunshine and flowers and kisses...maybe I should take you as a second wife...you can submit your application to...(ooops my babe just caught me typing that ..lol..).

Honestly, it's easier said by the women than done. I have an advice for single men. Anything you won't offer when you're married, don't start it when you're single. You just wait until SHE starts demanding for MTN sunshine...on a rainy day.

And then this Nigerian Alfa went to the beer parlour around 3pm during the fast...after taking 3 bottles, the madam asked if he'll like to take more. ''Haba madam....you are bent on making me break my Ramadan abi?...God no go gree''

Hey...I've been married for 6 years!!!..and luving every bit of it. Just that... I won't fone my wife from within the same building...except it's an emergency...the man needs to account for how the money is spent at the end of the day abi? Seun, do you notice that before we used to call them 'fiancee...' now most guys simply associate them with 'finance'....that's why they think it's ok to call her from the sme room just to say ''good morning''...how far?

I see that Femi is (still) single. You're still in the ''Love is blind" era and you can afford to waste your hard earned phone credits on on babe in the same building with you. Tell me man, ... will you still do that after you've married for 6 years? Even if MTN is billing 7 naira per minute? Will you? Oh FEEEEMIIIII.

As an engineer, I see a lot of faults in the advert.

It's technically impossible to have the sun rise at the same angle, with the same intensity at the same bloody time! The two of them have to be in the same building to observe the sunrise simultaneously. So, they don't need a phone at that point in time. Comprehendo? Just watch the advert a little bit closely. At best they will be on the same latitude. But the longitude may vary a bit, maybe by 0.52 degrees.

Hmmm seems nobody understands all this my trigonometry ...