Good evening,

I have been a banker for over 15years and my movement and growth has been relatively slow not because am not good at what i do but because somehow my job always go unrecognised.

I just got a job offer to change banks with a salary increase of 3.2m from the previous job and higher level, but my worry is the brand of the bank i terms of selling their products as they are not among the top brands in banking but the pay ia very attractive this is the second time such opportunity is coming my way and i dont know if i should tame a leap of faith or continue to dwell in my current position where am comfortable but would require nothing less that 4 years to get this offer from them

Please advice am a mother who also has a working class husband in one of the top banks in the country, should i take the new job or stay safe where i am?

I want to say a big thank you to all for your advice am sure everybody meant well. But let me make some clarification to the house, firstly am a working class lady that earns almost as much as he does so financially am stable as I support him in all we do at the Home front even upto the building of our property in Lagos.

Secondly he has attacked me twice in this marriage because those two occassions i lunged at him by trying to hit him because of some terrible words or act he did and both times i paid dearly for it. So i actually take the blame for getting physically abused as he has never raised his hands on me without me provoking him physically. But that being said we have lived through the 11 years because 90% of our quarrels I always end up apologising or breaking the ice for peace to reign.

To burst all bubbles I have gone to him despite my pain to ask him way forward and show him that I had to barb my hair like a boy because of what he did to me and he said clearly that I brought it upon myself and got what I deserved. I asked him way forward and he said any desicion taken by me he would support 100%. I also asked him what would he do if someone did this to his sister's he told me to go ahead and tell my brothers to come and beat him he is waiting for them all. He also said there had been peace in the house while I moved to the guest room and should please remain there.

I gently walked away and realised I was never going to get the apology. This is the sad story of my life, but thanks all as for now I have decided to take each day as it comes, and take life decisions as I think it best for me and my kids

God help me!!!!!

I have been married for 11 years with 3 kids, we have had our ups and down over the years but our first major fight was 3 years ago where I was physically beaten due to me accusing him of infidelity. Now I have been physically abused again with my hair ripped of my scalp. I cried my eyes out but he never said a word to me. I moved out of the bedroom to the guest room and till date he has refused to say a word to me and comes and goes as he pleases. Keeping malice is his hubby as I see him do that to family friends and loved ones over the years so am not surprised. I usually end the malice but for this one I believe he should be the adult and apologise to me as he is my head and protection but yet he scarred and battered me. I am hurting and cannot continue like this as malice is not my style please advice me on what to do? As he has refused to say sorry for reaping my hair of my scalp while arguing and I think I deserve better and shouldn't be the one to go to him. I am depressed