₦airaland Forum

You keep letting things flipped, as if watching the tides building up wasn't gonna kicked. You saw it coming bro still you..... ok.

fawn

Don't you wanna love me?

blackie01:
If I die today, what becomes of everything. Does death really end everything?
I have been thinking about it. But there is one truth, at the end of the day, we are all alone.
We are built to survive alone. Nobody cares. Not your parents , not your wife, kids, siblings, pastor, no even your shadow gives a fuc.k a about you cos he is usually the first to leave you when you are dead.
I am going to keep this diary, cos it's the only thing that will truely tell or if you like , give a detailed account of my sojourn through this hell hole called life.
I am tired, I wanna end it all at times but I still see my mama's face and her smile.
I haven't spoken to her in a while. All women are good pretenders. They all live to play the victim. Making us look like a fool. Well ! does it really matter? I don't think so.

The only that keeps me going is the fact that I smoke weed every evening to keep my sanity and maybe send me to dream land and for those few hours I don't feel lonely.
I am tired of talking, shouting and correcting. So I won't say a word no more.
We are strangers now I suppose. No more intimacy, it's canceled in the interim.
I have always thought marriage will cure this loneliness but right now, I am even more lonlier than when I was still single.

For reasons I don't know, the feeling of loneliness has been there since I was 10 or so. I have always had this feelings no body cared about me or concerned themselves about my feelings and existence.
I have been successful at masking the fact that I need love but all I have felt is hate.
Hate for my parents, friends, school teachers and now my wife who use to be my closest friend.

Dear diary, I will rather die than go back to my old self. I won't do that and I can't go back to me.
Sometimes God forgets about us, and I think he has forsaken me. So what am I living for?

They often say a life without Christ is a life of crises and I suppose that's where I am at the moment. Perhaps death changes things as winter changes trees.

Will death make me happier than burying my head in work? I haven't been there, so I don't know but I hope to find out soon.

Did you notice that when you are gone, people just tend to share a few crocodile tears and move on with their lives? I know I will get buried at the Bush when I am done but I don't want this. I want to be burnt ( cremated) and my ashes scattered with the wind.

Death seems to be far when you need her warm embrace. I wish my heart will just stop pumping blood and that will be it.

I have stopped taking pills , it no works for me. All I think of is slitting my wrist in a hotel bathroom and be gone before I am found. But that seems cowardly. I can't go out like a coward.

I can't put a bullet to my head or drink poison. It's too cheap. I wanna go out gallantly. I wish I was in the north east, I would have been useful at the war front.

They say those guys are hard to defeat because they are always prepared to die, well for those who are ready to go out in fashion, going after them won't be a bad ideal. It would be a honour pulling that trigger once more for a good cause.

I was lied to when I was told my sins are forgiving and I was gonna make heaven. Truth is , there is no heaven for the likes of us.
The best we can get is thug mansion sipping heavenly hennessey and smoking some weed over there with the likes of fela, tu Pac and co.

Last night some persons went out in fashion in the hands of terrorist in Spain. I was silently wishing I was there.

I feel so empty and worthless. My parents don't even know if I exist. Well, the only time they do is to ask for money.

I will be strong. I can't pour my heart out here any more, it only entertains you to read about my sorry state and move on to something else.

Till death comes, I gotta make some money to cover my funeral. I don't want Nobody spending them money at my funeral. All expenses will be taking care while I still breath, I think I should leave some money for my wife and mum.

Especially my wife so she can relocate and set up some business and make money for herself since that is the only thing she is good at.

In the interim, if you see death, tell her I looked for her last night but didn't see her. I hope she comes while I still need her. Good bye for now.

Unbelievable! What a Diary? Respect large man.

ttyl02:
Do you really expect me to reply you?

Sorry I didn't mean to report you it was my phone touch screen.
@op Am i supposed to?

Santos07:
discussed what?

. Do you normally jump in the middle of discussion?

scarchiji:
decoration

Not eight letter word.



@op

SweetWJ:
. Yuletide

Embitter

harlos:
Do i know you don't know?

Why would you assumed I knew while it was never been discussed?

ttyl02:
Are you serious?!!

serious? Is that a question?

harlos:
You dont know today is my birthday?

Sorry! Did you inform me of it before d day?

joyAA:
Btw, this has to be the longest thread on nairaland

Ah true that! I guess you are right.

hmmmnn

Maybe you are

destined

ttyl02:
How does speaking Spanish relate to what we were saying?

Didn't you aware that he's​ crushing on Spanish speaking girl?

ttyl02:
Why can't I say No to a man like him?

Can you speak Spanish?

harlos:
Should i tell you?

Can't you tell me?

ttyl02:
WHAT IF I SAY NO?

Can you say NO to a man like him?

harlos:
Where is the answer then?

Can you tell me who she...is?

ttyl02:
Do you think so?

Would you like to be the one?

jamace:
Wow! Long time indeed, bro.

How is life bro

harlos:
Did you answer my question?

Did I say I won't answer your question ?

nattyjay:
Why would you say that?

Wasn't it a question ?

jamace:
The Nairaland Post has a source so follow the sources. And if you don't like Nairaland sources, better impeach yourself from Nairaland.

So much venom my brother.
Howdy?

harlos:
What is your bussiness with that?

Why did you ask me how to say a particular sentence in Spanish then?

ttyl02:
Someone else is still gonna comment after me..
So I better not rejoice thinking I have won...
pOster below over to you..

Someone is giving up already.

Rendered

nattyjay:
Would you permit me?

Are you a destroyer of good things ?

nattyjay:
Enticing

Gracious

nattyjay:
Can I spoil this game?

Have you in your possession what it takes to spoil the game ?

ttyl02:
And which girl is that if i may ask?

Can the girl possibly be you?

harlos:
Dont you know for years i have been trying to learn that language because of one certain girl...?

how is that working for you?