₦airaland Forum

Oh well, it's a dead end!!!!!!! I did my best, yet I failed!! I accept my defeat, it is my fate!!!!

Thanks everyone!!!

Good morning and thank you all for your time and inputs! I feel so honored getting a lot of good advice and suggestions from you all, my life is a mess right now with lots of regrets and "Ifs". I wish I could turn back time, I would have done better

BlessedOne259:
What is your husband's current immigration status in Canada? What category of visa did he get before he left Naija?

Current status......I don't know
Visa category was work visa, the agent says we can join him after he settles down which normally wouldn't take above 6months but it's now more than 2years

Once again, I appreciate you all for your inputs, opening up has given me a bit of relief!

I understand that everything is entirely my fault!!! I should have changed apartment, the children school and other adjustments but in all fairness, I never knew it would turn out like this! I mean, there was an agreement/promise! On the issue of family, I have both parents (they are aged), I have other family members too but truth is, if they could help, I wouldn't go into debt in the first place, talk more of running online behind a new moniker to solicit help!!! I'm not proud of doing this but in all I appreciate everyone for the encouragement and criticism! Here are few things I've learnt since yesterday.....

1). I have to lock up and face reality
2). I have to change the children school to a much more affordable one, I've not paid for this term.
3). I need to move to a very affordable apartment, probably an outskirt of Lagos.
4). I could actually survive on 52k monthly pay if I plan well
5). I should make plans to pay up what I'm owing, even if I would borrow to pay.


Note: I've made two progresses so far.....
1). A lady reached out to me yesterday, her elder brother is in Canada so she collected my hubby's details. Her brother promised to help us trace him, at least to be sure of his well-being.
2). I have gathered some courage to face my brother, even if I would get a rejection (my fear of rejection made it very difficult for me to ask for help, coupled with the fact that I wasn't even groomed to murmur) I would still try. I am meeting him this weekend!

Again, thank you all, I appreciate everyone!

complexBoss12:
I may be accused of being too logical but whenever people start their story with threat of suicide, I take it with a pinch of salt.

If you need help, be straight about it, what you need is money not advice, stop going through the corners.

This is how it works here; tell your story, bring proof, if it checks out, there are many kind hearts on this forum that will reach out to you.

Trust me bro, it took me lots of courage to do this! I pondered on it for a very long time before I finally decided to bring it online. I'm not usually like this but then, desperate times deserve desperate measures!

And yes, I need help!!!!!!! I will give all evidence required including my office address and my social media pages! I will as well reveal my real NL moniker if need be!

Thank you all for ur comments, I didn't take any for granted! I have learnt one or two lessons from everything said so far. Truth is, I don't care about him coming back/fulling his promises or not, if he comes back, he should go to his mother I don't want trouble in my life. I'm just pained that he put me through so many pains and I got into this massive debts because he wasn't "alive" to his responsibilities....... No be man matter be my problem now, even my side hustle which greatly relieves my meagre salary has crumbled!! I just hope God helps me out of this mess as I have no hope of sorting myself. I had already thought of taking my kids to my elder brother but since he didn't approve of the relationship from onset.....I don't know how to! I'm a very emotional person, easily triggered and I don't call for help easily......I can't believe I wrote this much sha! Wow!!

Good afternoon my good people of nairaland. It is with utmost sadness that I write and pour out my mind on this hot sunny noon! I had to create this account just for this purpose so that I don't get trolled unnecessarily (I can't handle it, I could eventually commit the suicide).

Here is the story of my life

I am a graduate and a mother of two lovely children, legally married to my husband who travelled to seek greener pastures in Canada in early 2020! We were eagerly willing and trying to relocate together as family (we had only one child then) but because it was tough and we didn't have much money, I suggested he goes alone and bring us in, in no time. We both agreed to do this, and we focus on sending him alone. To God be the glory, he left in January 2020. I was nursing a 2year old toddler and also pregnant at that time.

We were communicating on phone real good and I was also dreaming of joining him with the children as agreed but anytime I talk about this, he tell me abroad is not always as easy as we think, things are rough and tough blah blah blah. Eventually we stopped reaching out to us, not sending upkeep money to me and the children. Anytime we ask, he'd say things are tight for him that he will sort us when he have the money. Though I also work here but I don't earn enough to sustain two children and myself. As a matter of fact, I had to wean my baby earlier than necessary because I couldn't afford to eat good meal to lactate well, I started feeding him family meals at seven months

I had to borrow money to sustain and survive. My monthly pay is 52k but monthly expenses is more than enough to gulp all and run me into debts. For instance, I had to buy diaper, feed the kids, pay school fees and even house rent! I don't even want to talk about how I've been wearing shoes that disgraces me all about or how my wardrobe had malfunction several times, those are least among my actual problems.

Right now, I'm in so much debt that I don't even know how I can get out of it. I just borrowed money to renew house rent in February and I also owe a lot of loan apps that I consult for emergency bailout. As I am now, I am owing nothing less than 700k and I practically have nowhere to sort my self. I cried like a baby yesterday knowing that I have failed as a mother! No food in the house, yet I can't get help because I've not paid people that borrowed me some money in the past.

My mother in-law called me early this month that she wanted to see her grandchildren so I promised her that I will bring the children during the Easter break but she says I shouldn't worry, she will come and check on us. When she came, she went round the house and even check my bedroom then she burst into tears that I should stop hindering her son from performing his duties to her, she started accusing me of many things and called me a lot of unprintable names, I told her I was experiencing the same thing but she held unto her belief. She really frustrated me that day, she took foodstuffs from my kitchen and did all sort of this that made me feel really bad. I am frustrated, I have ran into so many debts just to fend for my children, I have become a shadow of myself due to depression, I have failed my children!! I do have suicidal thoughts lots of times, I have thought of ending life but what would be the fate of my children?

Sorry for my long post but I need some words of encouragement as I'm going through a lot right now, including things I can't pen down!!!