From 150 to 170 to 185 to 190 NOW 1DOLLAR TO
NAIRA IS 210.....thanks to the present President!!!!
Vote Wisely!!!.....APC or PDP #NigeriaFEB14

When I was Younger:

I'd put my arms in my shirt and tell people I lost my arms.

I would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.

I had that one pen with four colours, and tried to push all the buttons at once.

I waited behind a door to scare someone, then leave because they're taking too long to come out.

I faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed.

I used to think that the moon followed our car.

I tried to balance the switch between On/Off.

I Watched two drops of rain roll down the window and pretended it was a race.

The only thing I had to take care of was a school bag.

I swallowed a fruit seed and I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy.

I closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off.

I walked into a room, forgot what I needed, walked out, and then remember.

You can add your own childhood memories in the comment box below...

Dump questions babes ask guys regularly and the funny answers guys give:

Are you a player?
Ans: Yes, CHELSEA FC wants to sign me next season.

Why do you wan't my Pin?
Ans: I want to use it to burst balloons.

Can you die for me?
Ans: My name is surely not Romeo

My BIS will soon expire, what am I going to do?
Ans: Return the BB phone to the seller and get a Nokia 3310.

If I sleep over in your house, hope nothing funny will happen?
Ans: No, trust me, we would just perform a vigil.

Hope you won't break my Heart?
Ans: If you don't put it at the edge of the table.

Can you take me out?
Ans: Sorry are you in prison?

Can you come and pick me up?
Ans: Are you a beans seed?

I think I've missed my period
Ans: Then ask the class captain for the next class!

Can't you get a Car?
Ans: Did your father have a car when he was in college?

You can add yours below...

Wizkid Claims He Does Not Charge N1.5M For
Collabos, See How Much He Actually Charges!
Wizkid has recently been accused of charging N1.5m
per
collabo and not helping to promote the songs after
being
featured on the songs.
The singer revealed to Netng that
he does not
charge N1.5m like female singer Saeon said she paid
him, but charges nothing less than N10m for a
collaboration. He also says he never pays for
collaboration because he is confident of himself.
‘I charge N10M for collaboration but I don’t charge
the
people I love. ‘I don’t pay for collaborations because
I’m
confident of myself’, the singer said.

That the pix

The Yoruba Solidary Coalition has warned the ruling
Peoples Democratic Party that it stood the risk of losing the
entire South West if it does not address the marginalisation
of the area.
Coordinator of the group, Prof. Olawale Akintunde, said this
in a statement sent to our correspondent via e-mail, on
Tuesday.
He said members of the group were of the unanimous
opinion that the zonal congress of the party held in Ibadan,
was a sham as such should be cancelled and a fresh one
conducted.
Akintunde said the congress which took place on Saturday,
October 11, was at best, an attempt to insult the
intelligence of the Yoruba people who are the largest ethnic
group in Nigeria and the bedrock of Nigeria’s intelligentsia.
The group observed that the marginalisation of the South-
West and its people was giving it great source for concern.
It cautioned the PDP against taking the region for granted
in the march towards 2015.
The statement partly read, “How can a controversial
uneducated person for whom a Warrant of Arrest has been
issued in the USA for criminal offences confirmed by the
Embassy of the USA in Nigeria organise a so-called ‘political
zonal congress’ with 48 hours notice to ‘selected’
candidates with screening in an undisclosed hidden
location resulting in the absence of 14 resourceful
competent candidates and a pre-arranged list of results for
22 positions of the Party’s Zonal Exco!
“Only 12 positions were ‘discussed’ and the pre-arranged
list was adopted. Those who never purchased or submitted
forms for the various positions were ‘placed’ there as long
as they had submitted themselves to this questionable
character.
“The secretary position, which was normally zoned to
Lagos was deliberately manipulated to Ogun State, which
already had its normal slot, despite the protest of some
notable Leaders of the party in Lagos when positions were
being zoned last year.”
The group requested that the party, should as a matter of
urgency, act now and address this imbalance or suffer an
unimaginable defeat in the zone as in Osun State.
However, the chairman of the congress committee, Senator
Emmanuel Anosike, said his committee discharged its
functions with the seriousness and responsibility it
deserved.
He said “We conducted a credible exercise, I did not
choose the delegates, and we worked with the approved
delegate list.
“You know the level of political awareness in the south
west is such that you find respected people most of who
are not less than seventy years old turning up as
delegates. There were disagreements but the issues were
resolved.”

The Lagos State Police Command has said only a court of
law could decide whether the two dogs which ate the skull
of a four-year-old boy in Igando area of Lagos State,
Omonigho Abraham, be killed or not.
The command, which paraded the two dogs at its
headquarters in Ikeja, Lagos State on Tuesday, added that
the dogs had been examined and been found to be
disease-free.
The Commissioner of Police, Cornelius Aderanti, said it was
important to parade the dogs so that the public would rest
assured that the dogs were still in police custody, and had
not been released as being rumoured.
He said, “We have brought the dogs out so that the public
would know that they are still in police custody. They have
been examined and show no negative trait. It is only the
court that will decide what happens to them. The police
cannot decide to kill the dogs.”
PUNCH Metro had reported on Tuesday, October 21, that
the victim, Omonigho, had asked the police to kill the two
dogs which bit his skull.
A veterinary officer of the police, Yahaya Usman, also told
journalists that the medical record showed the dogs had
neither rabies nor other dog-related diseases.
He said, “Initially, we quarantined the dogs, and wanted to
find out whether the dogs had any disease or not. That
was the first step taken by the police. The dogs were under
our watch for a period of weeks.
“So far, they have not shown any negative trait. The
medical history shows that they don’t have rabies or the
Ebola Virus Disease. The dogs are with us, and only the
court will determine what happens to the dogs.”
Meawhile, the victim’s father, Mr. Odiah Abraham, told our
correspondent the dog had three days to the incident
chased a neighbor and his wife had warned the dog owner,
but he refused.
He said, “Three days to the incident, a woman who lives in
the neighbourhood had gone downstairs to spread her
clothes on the line.
“She had left and was approaching her room when the
dogs ran out of their cage and pursued her. She was just
lucky that she was close to her room, if not they would
have bitten her.
“She ran in and shut the door against her. The dogs stood
at the gate for some time and when they saw she did not
open, they ran back to their cage.
“My wife met Stanley (Wesley) and told him to do
something about the dogs, as there were little children
within the neighbourhood, but he just ignored the
warning.”

Fayose faults cost of new Government House
Ekiti Governor, Ayodele Fayose, on Monday branded the
N3.3bn worth Governor’s Lodge built by the ex-Governor
Kayode Fayemi as ill-conceived project and a misplaced
priority.
The governor said the building was too expensive for the
state to maintain considering the level of poverty in the
state.
He spoke while administering oaths on the newly appointed
Secretary to the State Government, Dr Mrs Modupe Alade
and other Special Assistants in Ado Ekiti.
Fayose berated Fayemi for spending such amount of money
on a building when the masses were facing serious hardship
and challenge of abject poverty.
He said : “My heart nearly failed me when I got to the new
Government lodge on Thursday . The mansion cost N3.3
billion . It was initially awarded for N2.3 billion and later
increased to N2.7 billion, while a sum of N640 million was
used to procure fittings and furniture.
“And this building will cost a sum of N150m maintenance
annually. Ekiti cannot sustain this and we have to do
something about it . How can a Governor be living in such
house when the masses are living in abject poverty?, he
asked .
The Governor also assured that his administration would
ensure strict compliance to 35 percent Affirmative Action for
women in government in consonance with the Beijing
Declaration of 1993.
He said that the appointment of Alade underscored the
enormous respect he had for the women, pledging that his
government would protect them and allot more
appointments and elective positions to them during the
2015 State and Federal Legislative polls.
He declared, “let me tell the men here who are politicians to
know that some of them will be asked to step down for
women in the election next year.
“I want to assure you that those that will step down have
nothing to lose, we are going to reward you accordingly. But
if you disobey us, we will still go ahead to do it, as long as
what we are pursuing is in the interest of Ekiti people,”
Fayose posited.
The governor promised that his government will reward
loyalty and hardwork, particularly for politicians and those in
the civil service to promote the culture of brotherliness in
Ekiti.
Fayose said he was desirous of streamlining his government
to a sizeable form, particularly the civil service to reduce
cost, adding that he would pursue the restructuring with the
fear of God.
“There is no point having 39 Permanent Secretaries, whose
Running Grants we won’t be able to pay. I want to maintain
a sizeable number of political and top government
functionaries, I mean the one we can sustain. But whatever
we are going to do we have human face,” he declared .
Fayose urged the political appointees to be patient with him
in view of the parlous State of the Government’s finances,
advising them to desist from embarrassing him with text
messages to solicit for appointments.
“Some have started disturbing me with text messages
telling me to appoint them this or that, you have to stop
this. When the time comes, your own appointment will
come.
“You don’t need to tell me the kind of appointment I will give
you. I may even give you something better than what you
are requesting for or you may not get appointment at all.”

TEN JOKES FROM AKPOS:
ONE
MAMA:How was your paper?..
AKPOS: Good, but I didnt know d past tense
ofthink. I thought and thought, then finally
wroteThunk.
TWO
How do you recognize Akpos in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the
book when the teacher erases the board.”
THREE
TEACHER: If u have 10 chocolate
cakes&someone asks for 2, how many would you
have left?
AKPOS: 10, because I won’t give
FOUR
TEACHER: Class choose between money and
brain?
AKPOS: I’d go for the money!
TEACHER:I’d go for brain!
AKPOS:Well everybody goes for what he doesn’t
have!
FIVE
ALINCO: Akpos, i Just bought a new Samsung
Galaxy Tablet
AKPOS: Sorry Bro, I didn't know you were sick,
Get well soon
SIX
CASHIER: This is the 5th same movie ticket
you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why please?
AKPOS: The Idiot at the entrance keeps
tearing it
SEVEN
TEACHER: All stupid people should stand up,
Akpos Stands Up
TEACHER: So Akpos you are stupid?
AKPOS: No Ma, I just can’t bear you standing
alone.
EIGHT
TONTO: But why is your password‘Samson’?
AKPOS: Computer said my former password
wasn’t strong enough
NINE
TEACHER: Akpos, finish this sentence..‘Many
are called but...?
AKPOS: But only few have credit to call back..
TEN
Akpos was walking in a bush and suddenly saw a
lion in front of him... akpos quickly knelt down and
was saying his last prayer, the lion also knelt down
and was also praying. Akpos was suprised and asked;
Akpos: What re you doing?
Lion: You dey craze? Don't you usually pray before eating?
*Akpos faints*