₦airaland Forum

yorex2011: D truth is... Women are sumhw hard to please... If one isn't careful, e fit lose him sanity sef.. I think i knw hw it feels when ure accused of sumthing wey no even dey ur mind b4, it can be maddening... Tho she's just behaving like many married women wud behave... Give her a lil time, behave normally, go about your normal bizness... Leave d fone for her to be checking evrytime... When she's tired of d rebellion, she will stop...

lol! @ bolded. I hear bro.

Xenaf: Op moniker hmmmm

Is it unusual?

I am in the mood so lemme answer

egopersonified: Guy, what are u doing in a female colleague's house?

I went visit a sick colleague.

How many times have u been there b4?

I have visited her when sick thrice (in the company of other colleagues), checked why she didn't come to work once (her sister and family where at home), dropped her off twice (didn't go inside), gone to fellow colleagues social events thrice (in the company of other colleagues).

Hope u are always together in d open in d office not behind closed doors?

As already I have stated our office is an open floor office no cubicles or partitions.

Are u d only one that knows where sweet akara and bread is sold?

No. I wasn't the first to buy bread and akara to the office some of my other colleagues used to do it before me. It was my wife who suggested that we buy bread and akara to eat on the way when we are late and can't have breakfast.

Is it becos of her u always buy supplous so she can come around u everyday?

No. The surplus is usually maybe 3-4 balls of akara that I can't leave in the car so it doesn't stink up the car. I don't single her out to give it to her.

Do u intend to resign to avoid temptation?

No.

Would u live yr wife for her if given d opportunity?

No.

Can u be trusted to go on a bizness trip with her without starting a r/ship?

Yes.

Do u ve feeling for her?

No.

Is she d only female in yr office?

No.

Dont u know how to make male friends?

I do and have loads of them both in the office and outside.

Do u want yr life to go down or up?Do u want to see yr children grow up?Have u ever heard of love portion?

And what is the relevance of these questions?

Have u heard of a man being seduced by a woman?

Did you see where I said she has never tried that?

Do u intend to keep her as a mistress?

No.

Ati be be lo.

Anymore questions lord-examiner?

sexylogan: Okay. Maybe she just needs some time. I don't think she's convinced you were cheating but was scared at the possibility

Thanks for another insight. It didn't occur to me.

jnrbayano: You are a good man. You will have her back in no time

Thanks Bro. My sincere wish is to do away with this and be happy in my marriage.

sexylogan: I don't think she really wants a divorce. She's just hurt and angry. She may have been let down in the past and may see this as the past trying to repeat itself. I'm not sure what else you should do. Why not try a 3rd party? Someone she respects and will listen to.

She has said she wants no third party interfering which in a way is good we need to solve our problems but I'm left with no avenue to evaluate my own actions because I can't tell. Which is why I am on a faceless forum venting and seeing a different perspective to all this.

krall: be friends with them but dont befriend them. they are dangerous.

Which exactly is my stand. If I wan toast babe na with bread and akara I go use?

CoachDX: Oh, you just made yourself a suspect there. Even if that's your belief, you'd keep it to yourself. Women, mostly married ones can be one routed. . .only few re-considers your words to see the sincerity and innocence in it. On your part, stop whatever makes her doubt you. . .why wanting to take bread and akara to another lady's house in the first place? Ogbeni, don't disturb madam's mind again and let your ways be pure before her, with time trust could build up again. Be good!

The bread was only once under circumstances that are clear. She gave me money plus she was sick. I didn't even eat the stuff my other colleagues did. I just feel frustrated that a kind gesture is turning to a nightmare.

chinziaski: Sincerely, when I read the topic of the thread I was amused and ignored it. On a second thought, I said it might be a funny one but to see this, is really heartbreaking. Bro, we tend to conclude on our suspicions when tipped alittle and you definitely tipped your wife. What you have to do now is sit your wife and reassure her that she's the only one in your world and your colleague is a mere colleague. Explain the conversation she saw in your bbm. But one thing is, its like your conversation with your colleague on bbm was overtly friendly. That is why she's feeling uncomfortable.

I have done this several times it is now looking like I am hiding something. If I was, my phone will be passworded. Thanks though.

Lily4star: She doesn't mean the divorce thing, she said it outa anger and jealousy, no woman wants any other woman too close to her man. She loves you, you could set a date for just the two of you, probably leave the house or a weekend outside, then assure and tell her things she really needs to hear and also keep your distance since she doesn't like it. You ll feel threatened too if another man becomes too close to your wife.

I feel like posting the chat logs just so that everyone can judge how bad or good I am but without dates and time you might not understand.

My closeness to this lady in question is not remarkable I only used the word closeness because we jist like old pals. I don't go to her house with any frequency, she has never come to mine. Our jist outside of office is limited to why didn't you come to work or comments on bbm dp/status.

My wife has flocks of male colleagues that dance around her and it doesn't occur to me that there is office romance going on there. The idea to me is just absurd. She has travelled with them for official assignment, I have never gone with my colleague.

But thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

CoachDX: Bro, you've always been giving her reasons not to trust you. No woman would wake up one day and all of a sudden develop distrust for her man. There are more things you did with that lady that she knew even when you claim not wanting to have an affair. Finish your one-sided story ogbeni.

I wish there are concrete evidence to convict me I would be happy to be accused. I have a feeling that she does not believe I am innocent because other people have told her that no man can be free of sexual escapades despite all evidence to my innocence.

krall: no food for us today? @OP. Connect me to both your wife and your womanfriend, let me counsel them. how can u be even be having womanfriends when ur married?

I don't understand I should not be friendly to my female colleagues?

jnrbayano: It's very obvious that your wife loves you so so much and that's why her jealousy tipped her balance.

All you need do is to distance yourself from that your colleague.

Now focus on your wife, try and rechannel all that love towards trusting you more. To achieve this, you need to find ample time to talk with her, reassure her, pet her, buy her lots of stuffs you know she likes, crack jokes with her and all will return back to normal.

Use text messages on her time and time again whenever you are away from her (say you went to work)

..and make sure you tuck the Akara and Bread issue in at least for now

Thanks I appreciate.

ITbomb: So you went to the beautiful lady house because of akara, yea, you did it with good intentions but the evidence here are just too obvious.

Just stop shouting and trying to defend yourself, it only make it worse.
If you have quiet time in your family schedule, take that opportunity, hold her hands and softly reassure her that you would never dishonour your marriage vows or do anything to hurt her feelings.

A mild answer heals more than angry rebuttals

Thanks Bro, really trying to calm down because I hate being threatened.

But point of correction I didn't go to the lady's house this occasion, she said no need. If there was something between us she would have been jumping for joy. I have been to her place (she lives with her married sister) in the company of my other colleagues when she was ill some months ago.

sexylogan: Wow. Kpele. Seems like your wife has serious trust issues. Have she ever had cause in the past to doubt your fidelity?

Never. I don't keep late nights outside the house. I go straight home from work. I don't receive calls at night. I don't chat with the female colleague at night. The only thing is I bought akara and bread and I wanted to take it to her because she's sick. I still have the chat logs, I have a mind to paste them here let everyone judge me.

emsheddy: Trust issues bro. Its either she didnt believe u at first and has been looking for an evidence that u do visit the female colleague at home or someone has planted wrong seeds into her. She is only jealous man. It will die down. Just keep assuruing her or dislink urself from dat ur female colleague ohhhhh

I am trying to cool down but I am angry at the absurdity of the situation. Akara and bread now grounds for talking divorce?

My office is an open floor room so we all see each other. The friendship is not an exclusive one. I'm not the only one to buy food we all have shared before. I am not the only married man who is good friends with her so there is nothing special about our friendship except that she used to ask for relationship advice from me which has stopped since she dumped her bf.

My thread title is not a joke even it seems funny. Right now she is threatening with divorce because of this issue.

The genesis of this matter started 2 years ago when I got a new job. At this new place I met a female colleague that became good friends with. Truly we admired each other but I am married and I made it plain to her that I love my wife and have no interest in an affair. She has never tried to seduce me either. My wife knew about my closeness to this lady and has spoken to her on phone several times and in fact they have meant twice. A few weeks ago my wife and I started buying akara and bread on the way to work. We'll eat in the car as we go to work and then the rest I take to my office. My colleagues and I join to eat it and because it is quite nice they ask me to buy for them. This my female colleague one day gave me money to buy for her which I did and brought to the office only to discover she wasn't around. I bbm'ed her and she said she was ill. I felt bad because she gave me money and I didn't want it to waste so I offered to take it to her and she said no need.

Now I hardly delete my messages because I believe I have nothing to hide neither is my phone passworded. My wife saw the chat while going through my phone and raised fire and brimstone. I couldn't believe it. Despite all my assurances and explanation she still insists that I am having an affair with my colleague.

Guys help me o! I don tire for this kind of suspicions. What more can I say to convince her?