Belbad:
It's been a while since i've read African literature this good.I just knew suberu would be good for something. Only the name got me confused,plus why would Ajanaku kidnap feyisara when their wedding is only days away? VERY GOOD PIECE.Please mention me in your Forthcoming book

Thanks....


Whoa. Thanks for pointing that out. I totally had something else in my mind.
��� Not an excuse, but I saw served breakfast this past two weeks. So, it must have gotten a toll on the ending. I will iron out the kinks.

germaphobe:
nice work there big s/o to you. hmm...
i'm still curious why you had to rush the ending which i was expecting to come with a lot of detailed scenes, making the whole story a big turn off when getting to end part.

I can only describe what is happening. I'm trying to sell this story for school's consideration, I mustn't put too much details on how the war went if I want Government to approve. Nonetheless, I will look for ways to improve that side that it tells enough story without much bloody details.

for someone who's new to african literature the names of the characters might be confusing but to some of us its very normal and good.

The audience are Nigerian school children. But I will see how I can make the name some of the popular old ones.

regarding the fights and wars, you didn't state the choice of weapon or was it all a fist training and wars.

Thanks for pointing this out.

i don't know if i an the only one who was disappointed that the oto band didn't get the praise, respect and honour they deserve after saving the village. not hearing anything from the two chiefs that doubt them.

I guess you're right, I will work on this.

and i think what i wanna type now is really personal, but why did you give us a bit insight of adios family and young life without doing the same for irede since they both seem like the real heroes of the play(like i said na only me fit de think dis one).

For Irede, I talked about her father and her. Her mother was dead and her father supported her. Adio's family came more into the picture because he had issues with them.

Calenikan:
You are doing well
Tuale

Thanks a lot boss

elpochas:
Nice story.The names of characters are to dry and similar making it hard for us to know who is who.I Knw its an old story settings.You can use names that we are used to and easy to pronounce.That will make it easier for us to picture them in our minds eye.The ending also looks rushed,you can work on it to.My favorite character is Alakaja,i always love Villian character.

Thanks a lot for the take. I'll look into all the points you've made and effect suitable changes.

Epilogue
Everything changed in no time. Everyone rushed forward to help them. The Queen invited them to her palace to join the training for the Queen’s guard. Imoye lived peacefully. Queen Ademiposi extended her army to guard every road that led to the city. Baba Oje got a lot of gifts from the people of Imoye and went over to live with Queen Ademiposi.
Adio married Feyisara. Irede married Suberu Oje. Olu and Tinuola married each other. And Ojo married Segilola. Suberu and the Prince became closer.




ONCE AGAIN

- Which parts resonated with you and/or moved you emotionally?
- Are there parts where you wanted to skip ahead or put the book down?
- Which parts should be condensed or even deleted?
- Which parts should be elaborated on or brought more to life?
- Which characters did you really connect to? (None is acceptable)
- What do you like?
- What do you want more of?
- What’s missing?
- Where do you get bored?
- Where do you get confused?
- Any feedback on the structure or way it’s organized?
- Anything else you want me to know?

Chapter 22
The Calvary

Irede looked around the cell and wished Suberu was there with her. The loneliness wouldn’t have had much effect if she wasn’t seeing Segilola tend to the injured Ojo and the way Feyisara placed her head on Adio’s shoulder, who was humming songs.
She couldn’t tell if they would be there forever, but from what Chief said, he would be out to get them the next day. Feyisara also argued vehemently about her father’s keeping his promise till they all believed her. A homely girl brought fried fish for them but brought more for Olu, who later said they liked each other and hoped to be married very soon. Her name was Tinuola.
“You’re not too old”, Irede said.

“But not too young for marriage”, Olu replied. “She will soon be Tinuola, the wife of Olu Tomori”.
Before long, noises came from outside. Irede rose to peep, but she could see nothing from the jail they were placed. Houses and forests surrounded it, but there wasn’t anything they could do.
“They are here!” Ojo said.
“Who?” Irede said as she became more eager.
“Ogaras!” Ojo said tiredly. “And I think the people that are passing through the town now have the opportunity they need”.
Tinuola ran to them with tears as she explained that a large army had overrun the town. She began tugging at the cage they placed them, but it wasn’t budging.
“Go!” Olu shouted at her.
“I can’t leave you alone, my love!” Tinuola cried.
“Go! Nothing will happen to us!” Olu ordered.
Tinuola nodded and obeyed as she escaped.

More rancour and noise filled the air. Soon, they started seeing people running down their way. Each of them was ready to fight, but there wasn’t a way they could get out. The guards had created the gate in such a way that only someone with force from outside could pull it.
“My father!” Segilola grunted as she was standing at the door.
Irede was angry that she couldn’t do anything to help that she began to shake the door. Adio came towards her and joined in the shaking of the gate. When it looked like all help was gone, Baba Oje limped towards them, and they could see that he was as fast as he could.
“Ah! This is where you are!” Baba Oje said. “Tinuola told me you were here!”
“We need to open the door!” Feyisara said. “Baba, can you help us?”
Baba Oje frowned. “Do you see any weapon here with me?”
“But you have magic”, Adio said.
Baba Oje laughed. “Me?”

Ojo placed his head on the door. “He’s not a magician. He’s just a seer”.
Feyisara turned to Segilola. “Segilola, tell this boy here that seer and magician are the same”.
“Not in any way. He only deals with medicine and can see the future”, Ojo said.
Segilola shrugged and looked away.
“This boy is really wise”, Baba Oje said. “You guys will need to break the door”.
“We don’t have a weapon here”, Segilola yelled, frustrated.
“Oh! I can do that!” Baba Oje said and sat down.
“What’s happening, Baba”, Irede asked.

“Someone is bringing the cutlass”, Baba Oje said and placed his head on the door. “I’m tired. I’ve been seeing the future a lot and I think it’s high I talked with Queen. We need to start working towards the big solutions”. Baba Oje turned to them. “When the time comes, all of you and your remaining people will save Ilu-Oro. You will need one more person. That person is bringing the machete.
Irede couldn’t stop peering.
“I don’t think he is coming again! Feyisara said. “He ran away!”
“Or someone killed him”, Adio suggested.
Feyisara looked at him and nodded. “You might be right there”.
“Patience. You need a lot of patience like you’ve been having”, Baba Oje said.
Soon, Tinuola hurried towards them with a machete. Baba Oje struggled to rise but couldn’t do that before she got to them.
“I told you to leave!” Olu said. He was both scared and happy.
“I couldn’t leave you”, Tinuola said and pointed the machete at Baba Oje, who collected it and began trying to break the cage. However, it was a futile effort. The door wouldn’t yield. After much trial, he turned towards them.
“You two are the chosen once. You have to use your power!” Baba Oje said. “Adio, give us music. Irede fight the cage!”
“Baba, there’s no instrument here!”

“From what Suberu told me. It’s not the instrument. It’s you!” Baba Oje said. “Try it! Sing something!”
Adio looked defeated for a while, but it worked when he gave it a try. Irede could feel herself becoming stronger. She collected the cutlass from Baba Oje, who quickly jumped out of the way.
With so much vigour, she repeatedly brought down the machete until they burst out of the cage. Before they ran away, Segilola prompted them to stop.
“Suberu and Yomi are not available here. We need to make sure our formation are different. Fight with your life. But this time, Ojo, I want you to look out for the weak spots that would give the whole village advantage instead of looking at weak people. So, even if it’s the strongest people that are there, that’s where we’re headed”.
“That will be hard”, Ojo said. “ I can’t stand well”.
“I will hold him up and care for him!” Tinuola said.

“No…No”, Olu shouted. His eyes were red now. “Tinuola, you can’t do this! Go into hiding!”
“I’m tired of hiding. I want to be useful to you. What if you die? Or what if I die in hiding, I don’t want a situation when I’m not around you”.
“Yeah! Yeah! We’ve heard”, Irede shouted. “She has to follow. We need her”.
Despite Olu’s angry stare, they soon hurried towards the war zone. This time, Ojo, Adio, Feyisara and Tinuola were in the middle while Olu and Segilola guarded the group against the attacks behind. It worked.
One by one, they started winning each group. People from Imoye noticed them and called for their help from different angles, but Segilola made sure they did not change their plan. They kept fighting only in the weakest spot.
However, things changed. The leader told his people to leave everywhere and join the fight against the Irede and her group. The group was surrounded.
“We’re going to die!” Olu said.

Segilola looked around, and Irede wasn’t sure she could keep up with that number of people. “We will try and try”, she shouted.
By now, Adio’s voice was cracking, Feyisara and Tinuola were holding up Ojo, and more people had joined Olu and Segilola at the back. Most times, these people almost made them lose the fight, but the group held on.
They kept fighting and were getting weaker. Adio’s voice cracked up, and Irede didn’t know how to take up the number of men coming for her all at once.
Suddenly, a noise came from the forest. Irede turned quickly to see what it could be. Before she could turn back, someone had hurt her.
Her group hurried towards her. Irede was still hurting. She looked around and saw Suberu leading a large army. The Oto group helped her back up. Before evening, they won the Ogaras for the first time. When they opened the face of the Ogaras’ leader, it was none other than Ajanaku.