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Eh ouais!

bonsoir, mademoiselle...

YOu are all invited.

Mindependent: Ok so I've been on nairaland for a while, romance especially, countless failed relationships don't pity me. But now it's time for a fresh start.I know people always say good men finish last but I genuinely want a good man, is that too much to ask?

The type of man I want is
Someone who will call me every night before I sleep

Someone who will call me every morning just to hear my voice

Someone who would appreciate me as I am

Someone who will be there for me through thick and thin

Someone that would buy me roses for valentines day and a box of chocolates for my birthday

Someone who respects me, my family and friends

Someone I can trust enough to share my life with and doesn't judge me, I've been through so much, I find it hard opening up

Someone that is happy to lay in bed with me and cuddle up while watching sec and the city

And most of all someone that would cherish me.

Whoever you may be,wherever you may be. I am patiently waiting for you
Love,
M


Ladies and gents, apologies for been very soppy, I'm having a moment. Anyway feel free to add your own type of man/woman if you please

Aint u d cutie dat cheated on her bf, now u want a Superman... babe plzzzzzzzzzzz!

Dear young man,

s3xu4l relationship outside
marriage does not end after a few minutes. It
often transcends into years and years of negative
consequences. This is because sex is spiritual.
Before you remove your trousers, think about it.
Will a few minutes of pleasure weigh more than
your destiny? Really, that is what is in contention!
Destiny! Future! Purpose! Pay the price of zipping
up, and God will reward you with honour!

Dear young man,

sexual relationship outside
marriage does not end after a few minutes. It
often transcends into years and years of negative
consequences. This is because sex is spiritual.
Before you remove your trousers, think about it.
Will a few minutes of pleasure weigh more than
your destiny? Really, that is what is in contention!
Destiny! Future! Purpose! Pay the price of zipping
up, and God will reward you with honour!

Laaaaaal!

Excuse me, Handsome.

No not you, him. The one wearing all that
integrity and that hospitality.

The one that keeps opening the door for every
woman in his presence, the one who silently
watches a room, ready to protect it. The one I
saw step away from the crowd to pray instead of
entertain THAT topic. Yep, him ... the one I heard
tell that woman the least of his attraction was
drama & gossip before he walked away from her.
Did, I also hear him say he had plans with God,
he had to meet up with Him for worship?

Is he single?

Yeah, he is.

Why is that?

Most women out here don't show guys like him
respect. Because he is not abusive, they think he
is weak. Because he can control his hormones
they assume " he can't handle a freak" Because
he says he don't treat women like he used to, sex
is not what is on his mind. Because he is ready
for a same quality wife... He is realizing that she
is becoming harder and harder to find.

Where has he been looking ?

Well, he works real hard building his future so he
don't hang out at the club or do much of what he
used to, he don't do much of those types of
things anymore because He realized what he is
looking for ain't really up in the club or places like
the ones he used to go. Believe it or not he gets
rejected a lot because, many woman just aren't
ready for a man who is truly ready with God and
himself to lock it down and tie the knot. Even
though they say they are.

Excuse me, Handsome.

Who me?

Yes you, I just want you to know that I heard
your story. The one that you think is so hard to
find has probably been watching your actions for
quite some time. Know that you are priceless and
can't be compared. Don't give up or lower your
standard even though what you search for is rare.
You WILL find her. It's not your fault that so
many have never encountered a quality and
honest God-fearing man, in many cases they just
don't know if they will measure up to you,
because it's not what they are used to or simply
just can't handle all of you. Many are not ready.
Be encouraged. She is rare, but not impossible.
You can have a woman who matches your
desires, respects you, will support your dreams,
pull the best out of you and never draw you away
from your relationship with God. You can and you
will. I will be praying for you. You are truly a
breath of fresh air.

duffie: Be a man..

ok mum!

duffie: Nycccc,,buh it's too long

I hope she does not fall asleep while reading

hunh? *french montana's voice*

duffie: Nycccc,,buh it's too long

I hope she does not fall asleep while reading

hunh? *french montana's voice*

Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man.

MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!

Mrs.Chima:
Ladies....if you want a Nigerian man less than a week....follow these easy steps.

1. Buy a fake USA or EU passport or borrow from a friend/family member.

2. Dress very un-African and adopt a Western accent.

3. Go to the popular places in Nigeria (if you are in Nigeria) and flash your passport with a smile.

3a. If you are online....just post a picture with a copy of your passport...Viola!

Congratulations. ...you have just won a Nigerian man.

MrsChima I totally disagree.. Enegod ur head dey there... not every naija guy is EU/US crazy and when u eventually marry such a lady u will end up under her control (which we all know is against african tradition). No naija man wants slavery at the hands of his wife! In addition, marrying an EU/US citizen doesnt guarantee wealth, u still need to hustle hard. The only benefit therein is the structured environ and claims for kids education (eg UK). What naija men want is a loyal, respectful, motherly and church going wife! Shikena.. Fit d descriptn, Get d Ring!

Kinda boring!

Nobody likes music production

hehehehe... hell NO u dont... besides, this aint cheating itz an ARt ExHiBiTION for the enthusiasts, critics, and the indifferent.

What do u tink about my letter to my beloved?

100% correct stereotype!

Dear Pumpkin,


How do you feel? I am very joyous writing you this letter; it feels so good to use the format of the 80’s in communicating. How I wish the youths of today can express true love of the 80’s not the lust and infatuation they exude. Oops I digress. Babe, I have wanted to tell you all these and now the right time has presented itself. I found GOD at my tender age so you won’t have trust issues with me. Over time I have developed strongly my self-discipline and self-control through The Word. I ask myself: why should I seek to be in the arms of another lady, when I have my sexy queen at home? I know it may sound like a cliché but sincerely, the love I have for you constraineth me and I gbadun you just the way you are. I ve made a conscious decision to love you same way Christ loves the church (sacrificing and giving unconditionally). I have come to understand that loving someone is a choice you have to make, I therefore choose to love you, I want to love you, just let me love you. Read the words in Songs of Solomon 4 : 1 - 15, that's how I feel about you and without beating around the bush, I am gonna tell you why I chose you amongst all, it's coz you surpass the criteria in Proverbs 31:10 -35.


Recently, I thought I saw you at the mall but when I looked closely the engagement ring proved me wrong. Oh well, I stopped searching for you a long time ago since I learned that: ““when you stop looking for the right person, and start becoming the right man, the right person will find her way to you”.  That doesn’t mean you should take forever. Furthermore, no one is perfect so I don’t expect you to be. I also don’t expect you to give me your digitz immediately I ask for it because I know that: “If she's virtuous, you won't get her easily, If she's worth it; you won't give up, If you give up; you are not worthy of her”.  Like Abraham Lincoln, I am going to persevere till I succeed and this is how I expect our first conversation to look like https://www.nairaland.com/1326040/biblical-toasting.  Looking back, when I was younger I was a “mummy’s boy”, this helped me to understand the needs of a lady, wife and mother. I am aware that you are Miss Attention-seeker, I was made for you coz I am Mr Attention-giver.



Don’t bother about my looks and intelligence, for I am a qt 3.14 and I believe that I am smart. The former has been confirmed by the attention I receive from both sexes and the latter by my educational achievements. I am very sure we will procreate beautiful kids as smart as Einstein and Marie Curie (mentioned familiar scientists not to get you flabbergasted…hehehe). You should know that the product of 2 awesomes is awesome2.  I will support you if you want to be a career lady, businesswoman, and sportswoman, just name it. I know you are very hardworking thereby earning good bucks, that won’t stop me from providing for your hairdo, clothes, bags, shoes and lifestyle.



I will ensure that we do almost everything together: chores, laundry, TV, cooking, changing nappies etc I want us to build our marriage on very strong bedrock as friends before lovers. I believe that when we do stuffs together we get fond of each other and in the process build strong covalent bonds. I know that you are very intelligent and exposed, can’t wait for us to discuss topical issues on Aljazeera, SuperSports, and FashionTV. As your boo, there are things you should know about me. I am self-driven, go-getter, problem solver, achiever and lover of gadgets and tourism. Speaking of tourism, have you ever been to South America? I hope not, I want us to go there together for the first time (honeymoon thinz). Do you enjoy TV shows as much as I do? What is your favourite episode of The Sopranos? Mine is any with Paullie Walnuts in it… Capisce?



I totally abhor the current Nollywood, it is crazy how watching a trailer reduced your IQ talk more of the full movie. I wish they could be more creative like the comedians and musical artistes. That reminds me, do you twerk? I etighi and azonto wella. Did I mention that I enjoy doing voluntary work? Yeah, I really do. I helped out as a church admin staff recently, and I enjoyed every bit of it. You shouldnt be bothered if we dont have similar hobbies, unlike poles attract, with time we would blend.



We have to schedule a cooking competition between us, and the winner gets to make to make 3 wishes in a month. I am a professional chemist when it comes to mixing compounds in the kitchen, so your ass is mine! About my weaknesses, firstly, I joke a lot (90% of the time) so you might find it difficult to know when I am serious ab initio. i promise to make you laugh so hard that you feel like you are developing 6 packs. with time you would get used to my "douche baggery", for i enjoy being a clown for you 24/7. Lastly, you will have to help me with my media shyness. It is really wrong for the future president of the FR Nigeria to blush when being interviewed by Christine Amanpour. We would mimic an interview where you would be a journalist and I would be your guest. Practise makes perfection. Finally, the last weakness is... wait for it... Ha already told ya above!



I am not the kind of guy that would take you to the cinema on our first date. I prefer to cook for you in my kaban, with a bottle of wine as Frank Ocean serenades us. This is the perfect way for us to get to know ourselves... laugh, smile, and flirt.



Honey, I am tired of using technology, I am tired of cyber-love, I am tired of communicating with your e-presence. I want you close to me so I can whisper into your ears how much you mean to me.



Attached herewith is the latest makeup kit by Estee Lauder (Blockbuster13). I know how much you love experimenting with colours, thats why I selected the best for you. I only hope the NIPOST guys don't tamper with it. To ensure it's safety, I will pay the 20% insurance fee at the counter... hehehe. I hope you like it.



I've got to go babe... so much to say but no time... can't wait for your mail. Toodles.


Your lollipop,
KanyeChukwuekene D DRAPER


PS: I am quite impatient, however I have been working on it by following ladies to shop, and learning to wait for my dudes as they prep for church so we leave ensemble.

There are 3 ways to look at this dilemma: 1) He does a blue collar job and doesnt want you to look down on him and treat him with contempt - naija chics do dis alot 2) He has a white collar job and doesnt want u to drain him or to treat him nicely simply coz of his affluence not his persona - naija babes are pros wen it comes to kissing ass for goodies 3) He works as an intelligence operative hence the secrecy.


My advice for each scenario is 3) Watch SAFE HOUSE and emulate the virtues of the french girl 2) Watch COMING TO AMERICA and imbibe the character of the Queen-to-be 3) Watch nollywood flicks but dnt emulate the characters therein... Capisce bella?


In addition, just b yourself coz covert ops guys lik ds kno how to detect pretense. If u cant hangout wit a mason tell am sharpaly to check front. But if u are among d decent few, Just continue being a pal and forget bout his background, when he is comfortabl wit thee he should open up his world... Then again, It doesnt really matter so far he aint a freak!

Na joke oooo for more visit efemenaoreoluwa..com/?m=1

Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the
easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to
stop being single and get a-mingling. These easy
steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and
pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your
money back.


-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them
some religious girls. you don't actually have to be,
you just have to pretend that you are. talk about
the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip
in some Bible passages in random conversations
even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for
his birthday. call him randomly for "morning
prayers". a nigerian man will marry a woman who
appears to be religious. fake it till you get that
ring baby girl.


-- Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love
children so much. especially other people's
children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls,
lounges, planes. talk about how much you love
children. carry his friends' kids all day long. offer
to help feed them. it doesn't matter that you
don't love other people's kids and think that
children can be such dicks from a very early age,
it should not matter. pretend girl. you're
auditioning to be his baby popper, act like one.


-- Don't ever mention that you're a "feminist".
femi-gini? that shit don't live here miss. Bleep
women rights. accept all traditional roles even
when you're dating. when you are dating him,
make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks
through that door bitch. it doesn't matter that
you're in school or you are also working like him,
shit like that don't matter. you have to show your
man that you can put your back into it and be
that super woman who will clean, cook, pop your
back in bed and still pop out those kids.


-- You gats deny all them man them. Have you
ever had sex? made out with someone?
ummm...you don't have to tell your Nigerian man
that. when you're asked your body count is 1 or
2, never more than 3 though cos you're already
side stepping into whoredom. never mind that
your Nigerian man's count is like 54, who cares?
he's only out there fucking everything in skirt so
that he can impress you in bed. all of what he
does is for you, you ingrate!! he's out there
putting his penis in everything in other to come
home and please you in bed and you have the
guts to say you have a body count of more than
3? if any man claims he has slept with you, cry
and swear that you know no such man. refer to
rule number 1, start quoting Bible passages about
how your enemies are chasing you and shit.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count is
bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3. other
than that, you might as well just remain single.


-- A Nigerian man has needs that only you can't
meet. you have to give him some penis room.
why are you being selfish? let men be men. let
them have wings to fly. don't be asking him why
he came home late. you smell perfume on him?
be happy that some girl is keeping him
moisturized and smelling all good. that's one
thing you don't have to do today. Let them have
some fun girl, you just want that ring on your
finger don't you? relax. that diamond that you
can instagram with well manicured fingers is
coming.


-- Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man
should not be going hungry. cater to his food
palette girl!! if you don't cook for him some other
girl will cook for him and steal him away. cook
him new delicacies all day, find out how his
mother used to do it, cook for his friends too.
why do you want to eat in restaurant? bitch
please use that money and take your arse to the
grocery store and make that man some food. let
him save that money he would have used to take
you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in
time saves nine.


This is my good deed for the day. Let him who
have ears, listen or something like that.

0803-419-0000

tonnieblaise: av been in dis kind of situation b4...ask her abt her relationship,if she has a boifrnd or she has one she z trippn for,just try pushin her 2 tell u her mind,to tell u if she has feelings for u or anybody

Aiiit man, will do... tnks for ur time!

Iaz93: Why can't you just feel the same? abi she get hunch for back?

such is life bruv, sometimes feelings arent mutual...

tonnieblaise: tell her ur mind,u guys should just remain as frnds

she hasnt opened up verbally, so how can I just talk based on assumption. Ive done dt bfor n d chic denied n claimed dt dts how she acts normally around male pals. Meanwhile, she was heavily flirting wit me... I was embarassed n dts how evrytin ended!

What do you do when a very close female pal of urs has a visible crush on u but U dnt feel dsame n u dnt want to hurt her feelings dreby ruinin d friendship? Help a bruv get it rite ds time...

Tashamania: Well, I don't know if there's a similar thread but as far as I've checked, didn't see any. So decided to create this

Just drop ur date and year if you want, you might just see a mate

Mine's 10th

199_
Let the ride begin!

Mine's 10th too! 198_!

Graduate Vacancies at Lafarge

Career Opportunities in Lafarge Ready Mix Nigeria Ltd As part of our expansion and development program, Lafarge Ready Mix Nigeria limited is looking for experienced and highly motivated individuals to fill the following positions:



1) Production and Plant Supervisor (PPS)

Job TypeFull Time
Min Qualification
Experience4 - 5 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldEngineering



Drive Health and Safety in the Plant
Production scheduling for equipment and manpower including delivery of concrete to construction sites to meet daily requirements
Identify raw material requirements
Ensure plant is fit to produce quality products and liaise with maintenance department for both maintenance and repairs
Ensure cleanliness and tidiness of mobile equipment and plant
Monitoring the production of ready mix concrete

Qualification

Degree in Mechanical, Chemical or Electrical Engineering, Chemistry
4-5 years experience in ready mix concrete production and concrete plant operation


2) Plant Technician (PT 2)

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
LocationLagos
Job FieldEngineering



Able to maintain and repair batching plant with great mechanical experience
Understand electrical diagrams, able to identify and document modifications done in plant control systems
Be able to troubleshoot, connect, replace electrical equipment i.e., weighing cells, sensors and electrical relays
Trade Test Certificate in PLC, Welding and Fitters

Qualification

Degree in Mechanical Engineering or equivalent
4-5 years experience in automated plants, production lines or concrete plants


3) Pump and Diesel Mechanic (PM 3)

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
LocationLagos
Job FieldEngineering



Able to overhaul MS, MAN, and CAT engines
Experience in hydraulic pumps and maintenance of Putzmeisterconcrete pumps
Trade Test I, II & III in Automobile

Qualification

HND/B.Sc. in Auto Engineering will be an added advantage
5-6 years experience in Earth Moving Equipment Workshop
4-5 years experience in a ready mix concrete operation


4) Pay Loader Operator/Concrete Truck Mixer Operator (PLTM 5)

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience4 - 5 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldEngineering



Daily preventative maintenance and minor repairs of assigned vehicle {Truck or Pay loader)
Knowledge of driving heavy duty earth moving equipment/concrete truck mixer

Qualification

4-5 years experience in driving CAT Pay Loader or Trucks
Valid Driver's license for the category
Trade Test in Automobile will be added advantage


5) Quality Control Technician

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
LocationLagos
Job FieldEngineering



Great knowledge of concrete, ability to make sample for fresh and hardened concrete
Sound knowledge of aggregates raw materials
Knowledge of Quality control compliance checks
Willingness to learn fast and able to work with little supervision

Qualification

B. Eng. in Chemical Engineering


6) Field Sales Officer (FSO 4)

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
Experience3 - 5 years
LocationLagos
Job FieldSales/Marketing



Knowledge of the Market of the geographical location of the concrete plant
Competitive intelligence and customer relationship management
Strong negotiating and analytical skills
Strong target achievement drive with can-do attitude
Great communication/interpersonal skills

Qualification

HND/B.Sc. in relevant field
3-5 years experience of sales and marketing / technical background in the construction/building industry


7) Graduate Trainees (GT6)

Job TypeFull Time
Min QualificationBA/BSc/HND
LocationLagos
Job FieldGraduate Jobs/Internships



Strong target achievement drive with can-do attitude
Great communication/interpersonal skills

Qualification

B. Eng. in Civil or Mechanical Engineering
1-2 years experience in construction industry


Method of Application
Applicants should send application letters and resume to: readymix@ng.lafarge.com. Locations are Abuja, Port Harcourt and Lagos.

Mark application with position code and location
Do not make multiple applications for same position.


Please note that only short-listed candidates will be contacted.
This advertisement is valid for two (2) weeks from date of publication.


Deadline: 18 June, 2013