₦airaland Forum

i want to make loads of money

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amosquito bit me!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.

its just a joke, wasnt meant in bad taste

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem.
After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient.

Doctor: 'It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying
problem of stuttering.

Patient: 'Ddddd octttor . Whhaaat cccan I dddo?'

The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by
removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem.

The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be
worth it.

The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up.

Patient: 'Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches'.

The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says:
'I dddoonnnt ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble',

lol

creative

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they
learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is
for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at
me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then
says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a
valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in
shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think
that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.
And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love
everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell
everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound
pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I
know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines
could blow the crap out of him."

gross

iya basira in bed last night

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?

knock knock
who is there
whiteroses
whiteroses who
white roses for you my love

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Yo momma.
Yo momma, who?
Seriously, it's yo momma, open the damned door!

I'm sure you guy know knock knock jokes,lets do a thread on knock knock jokes please make the puns smart.

heres mine

knock knock

who's there?

norma lee

norma lee who?

normalee i don't go knocking on peoples doors,do want to buy some oranges



another one is:

knock knock

who's there?

doris

doris who?

doris locked that's why im knocking.

so try and supply your own knock knock jokes

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up?

A: The pregnant woman, the other two aren't real !'

men thats wicked

whats the beef against blondes

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.

The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven't ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.

The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is really puzzled now and says, “You can't not do anything. What do you do at home all day?”

The man replies, “Honestly, doc I, don't do anything. I just sit around, watch Indecency flicks and eat Cheetos.”

ever got an F in an exam

the limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those they oppress

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.

The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.

The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, “Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped.” The boy replied, “I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved.”

Whats the best thing about dating homeless girls?

You can drop them off anywhere.

im thinking that i started a topic and no one wants to reply

lol that's a very good one

An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "ooohed and aaahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next, they went out back to see the championship golf course. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.

The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"

Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.

"That's the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. I could have been here ten years ago!"

cool

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."

Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"

A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."

"Very good!" said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."

"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-law's house for the four weeks."

Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-law's home?"

Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would make them the longest four weeks of my life!"

god forbid


had sex with a married person

if you had one wish what would you ask for?

my one wish: to become a sexy world famous actress

so lets findout what you all would do with your one wish