₦airaland Forum

Your location came into the game because Chimanda Adichie made her address to the world writters in UK last  summer and explained the danger of a single story. No harm intended. Sorry if I stepped on your toes.

Since this is not a 2 sided story, contributions should be  like giving ideas and suggestions,  and not like pushing her on what to do.

There's no mind game in this issue 'cos whatever that kicked a man out of his house is a big deal.

Just because that guy is a gentle man, he didn't go for physical confrontation,  he just left the house for her. Some crazy/violent guys will beat the shit out of her and throw her unto the street.

If this girl is concerned enough as she claimed, why didn't she go and look for the guy? It could be that the guy has committed suicide or got into trouble because of anger.
Then,when the guy finally called and apologised, instead of her to accept his apology and lure him home first, she is still demanding for the guy's head. With this, isn't it clear that this girl is so difficult to please. She's crying about forgiveness, she can't forgive either.

Please, give me a break.

Patrick45,I can not thank you enuogh for your quick response and detailed explanation. God bless you.
I know that MACK, MERCEDES, MAN DIESEL, DAF and SCANIA are popular in Nigeria, which one of them do you think is better as regards to Nigeria? Again, how much do you think it will cost to put one trailer on the road? Do you also have idea how much the DUMP TRUCK (Big ones with ten tires) could be making a week or a month?

I am interested in going into truck transportation business, but I don't know which one is more lucrative, trailer/tanker or tipper/dump truck.
Please I am in urgent need of advice from NL members. I am capable of starting up with about N12m.
I also want to know what and what are needed to start it and what make and model truck is preferable. I have access to MACK, KENWORTH, PETERBILT, WESTERN STAR and VOLVO. I don't have access to MERCEDES, MAN DIESEL, DAF and SCANIA but I can import them from EUROPE if they are more preferable. I mean any advice on this will be highly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

Well,it's not surprising that women will always defend women whatever the situation. How can one make a good judgement based of one side of a story.
Chaircover, thank God you stays in UK. Our illustrous sister, Chimanda Adichie said it all in her book and speech to the WORLD WRITERS at the Oxford University. She warned about THE DANGER OF A SINGLE STORY.
So I strongly disbelieve that this guy left his own house, ,I mean, he ran away from his home just because of an argument over a vacation location. Most likely,this guy is the one that would have paid for this vacation and possibly suggested it too. If we dig dip into the poster without being biased, we may find out the truth,, and that it didn't start with vacation argument, ,and that it didn't end there either.  May be she's the one that kicked this guy out of the house, ,only God knows.
If that guy didn't love her so much, he wouldn't have brought her over to EU as a girl friend. This girl's character might even be the reason why the guy 've not married her since he brought her to EU.
I'm not judging anybody, but I wish the poster 'll tell us what 've been going on between them which might have triggered this chain reaction.
She should also stop whinning please.

Thanks fellows, for your time, your brain, and more importantly, for opening up. You guys/girls are just awesome! I'll not stop saying it, we got some world class talents in Nigeria. Some suggestions and ideas doesn't agree though, but I think that's what made this discussion superb.
Thank you one more time and please keep up the good job.

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Rotimy! Rotimy!! Rotimy!!! How many times did I called you?
Can you please make your intention clear in NL.
You be de one wey complain say some girl them for movie theater dey beg you money for popcorn, from there them go begin ask for your phone number.
Na the same you Rotimy, for all NL members them present, wey don begin dey beg one of our sisters for her picture, from there now,you too go begin flashing your email address and your phone number go follow am.
A beg oh, make we dey take am easy. I never see person wey dey complain if the thing dey sweet am.

Sounds like a playboy. Playboy's magic doesn't last that long and all the girls will know him and wont let him fool them the 2nd time. Playboys can promise a girl anything just to get his way only to break the girl's heart in no time.
Poster, tell your buddy to go and apologise to all those girls he broke their heart.

Hey poster, can you just shut up and go do something good for yourself. You said he's marrried with two kids and still want to marry you because he wants more kids. Is his business involve trading on kids? How good is he taking care of the ones he has? How sure are you that you're going to give him as many kids as he want? If you can't give him enough kids, would you allow him to marry another wife? Don't post nothing again until you give me answers to all the above questions, or I'll get real mad at you.
You kids should stop sneaking around and breaking peoples marriage.

Poster,it looks like you complain a lot. You said that the guy 've called and apologised, and at the same time you're reading and interpreting his mind to your favour. Please give this guy a break and stop making him look like a bad guy. If that guy would 've the nerve to sponsor you to Europe, not as a wife but a girlfriend, he's good.
We only heard your side of the story, if we hear his we may think again about all your whinning. Why I'm saying this is that I've seen how women acts once they cross into EU or US. To be honest and based on what you said,that guy is a gentleman, he didn't go for any physical confrontation, he just left, , you didn't tell us if you confronted him physically.  I personally didn't believe that it's only an argument over a vacation location that drove him away from his house. Tell us the truth when you're ready and stop telling matured men moonlight stories.
I've witnessed so many things that looks like that here in US, the lady will be crying all over, but when you find out what she did to the guy, you know that the guy is just running for cover and not to punish her.
Be careful how you spread your dirty linen in public 'cos it may come back to hunt you.

Finding out by himself is a big blow to the guy's face, I can't say it any other way. It's a very big mistake on the girl's side to 've hidden it for that long. However,I'll not tell the guy to leave or hang on. I'll advice the guy to go back to the drawing board and take a look at the qualities he wants in a wife/girlfriend, if this girl has all or more than 70% of them,he should really consider her but if not,well, the choice is his. Again,let the guy tell himself the truth what would've been his reaction if the girl told him that before he found out. If in anyway way he would accept it, I guess there's still room for him to accept it now.
He should also create a conducive atmosphere for the girl to tell him about her past life/relationship; when she got pregnant,her age then,by who,why and other circumstances surrounding it which may not be fault of hers. Finding out things like this from her may help him digest the situation better.

I strongly disagree with the poster. Firstly,it's not only Nigerian girls. Secondly,it's not only girls.
The issue of girls wearing or not wearing panties with jean doesn't really matter but exposing ones butt or part of it in the name of fashion is a real act of irresponsibility. I'am a guy and I don't want to be bias about the issue, some guys does that too, pulling down their jeans exposing their undies/boxers (sagging as it's called in US). Some cities in US has made it illegal to sag and offenders are liable to fine of up to $100 for 1st offenders and fine and some days of community service for frequent offenders.
As Pharoh said,it's not an issue of looking but maintaining a moral and decent society. So I'll say, please pull up your jeans brothers and sisters and use belt if the jean is a bit oversized.

Thank you for reminding me again Bamuqzy, however,I did replied to your offer then. Now why don't we talk on the phone or email. If you give me your #,I'll call you for one on one talk. Or email me at (el_dubino@yahoo.com).

I heard your voice people. All your contributions are well appreciated, and in fact, this is exactly what I am looking for. Different opinion but strong messages, thank you all. Still looking for more opinions 'cos so far I am gaining confidence that I can now talk to my friend about that armed with your messages. He has the final say and he's the one that's going to be waking up every morning with her by his bed side as one NL member said. You guys/girls are truely great.

This is a personal opinion,the kind of test that guy did is wrong and his decision to back off at the 11th hour is unforgivable as far as am concern. That he pressured the girl to sleep with him doesn't mean that she'll accept to have sex with him,so the guy's judgement is very poor and uninformed.
To me testing is crude, but learning or finding out who the person really is sounds better. As my dad always tell me ''don't try to see what you wont like when you see it''. He also said that if you open anybody's ass no matter who, you'll always see shit or something that looks like shit in there. Nobody feels comfortable if he/she finds out that he/she is being tested. But if you court your wife/husband to be for a while,you should be able to learn one or two things about him/her. However,whoever has the tendency to cheat 'll always cheat before or after wedding. Again the more somebody found out that he/she is being monitored, the more he/she would try to hide his/her bad side.
I do not also fancy the idea of having a private detective (her friend or my friend) to go after my wife to be to find out for me what she does and does not. Your detective might be jealous of you or her for some unknown reasons and would therefore feed you with wrong information that 'll lead you to bad decision. If you see 60% of the qualities you want in somebody, go for him/her 'cos you 'll never get 100%.

Thanks contributors,I'm still looking for more contributions 'cos I really want to weigh different opinions before I tell this guy my stand.

Please NL, I want you to comment. I've a friend who's contemplating on marrying a prostitute,though he's too shy to put up the topic himself,so I decided to do it for him. He got this prostitute sometime around December '08 after a drinking night out with about four of us,we all came back from abroad. We were all high on alcohol but not to the extent of doing something stupid. He slept with the girl in his hotel room that night and paid her N10k the next morning. But then he exchanged phone number with her,he confessed though that he had an unforgettable night with this girl. From the next day on,they were talking on the phone constantly and he sends her MTN scratch cards. Honestly speaking,that girl is super pretty,I mean she's endowed with the beauty of about  a thousand girls, I wont say her tribe to avoid offending anybody.
Four days later,my guy invited this girl to join us in another round of drinking night out,he slept with her again that night and the night after,but he didn't tell us how much he paid her. We left Lagos for East later on,and he arranged for the girl to come down to East to be with him. The girl agreed and came down from Lagos. When I saw the girl,I was like wow,what's going on man? He said he like the girl so much and that he want to spend as much time as possible with her. The girl was with him throughout his stay in Nigeria. When he left Nigeria back to his base sometime in January '09,he gave the girl his phone number and he was also keeping constant contact with her ever since.
Sometime last month,he told me he's thinking about marrying this girl. I was so surprise that he still maintain contact with her not to think of marriage.
My problem now is that he said he want me to advice him. I told him to give me time to digest the situation. This guy in question is my childhood friend,we grew up together,we went to the same university together before we left Nigeria for greener pasture. We 're just like twin brothers.
I want to hear from NL before I give him my answer 'cos I really want to tell him the truth.

It's so sad that things is going the way it's going for you. However,don't forget that God sometimes changes the course of flow against our wish and take away what we value so much in other to open our doors for bigger blessings. What I mean is that what the girl's family said is distastiful,but that might be a way God wants you to get off a wrong relationship. I'll advice you to sit the girl down and find out exactly what she thinks about the whole thing. If she really love you the way you claimed,her family can't stop her. But if she insist that her family must decide everything for her,then I would say it's time to BAIL OUT 'cos if you  go into the marriage,it's going to be you against the entire family which is not going to be healthy for the marriage,and more against you.

Personally,I don't believe in those prophesies and I try my best to stay away from any family that juggles between churches,prayer houses and sightseers 'cos it shows the family is inglorious,incontent,confused and shortsighted. Again,I don't know the girl's age,but if she's ripe for marriage and still tied to her mum's apron as you said, it's a sign that the mum 'll still remote control her even when she's married,I don't think you would want that.

This is marriage we're talking about and not boy girl relationship. If you like this girl that much, talk to her family to make sure that what she said is based on the family's decision and not that they're trying to pull your legs to see how serious you are. Most families put up some resistance when it comes to marrying their daughter to see if the guy is going to fight back, if he does, it shows them that he's serious but if not,it most time means unseriousness. So based on the outcome of your sit down discussion with the girl and the outcome of your talk with the family,and if the rejection is still based on prophecy,I'll say BACK OFF bro. Go look around 'cos you're not going to know how beautiful this world is until you travel around.

Goodluck and be careful.

Yinka4love, please allow me to ship in my 2cents. I must first warn you not to let selfish people among the NL ruin your beautiful marriage. From my understanding, you and your husband are living happily except the issue of monthly allowance. Am not saying that N15k a month is too much and am not also saying it's too small. The bitter truth is that most families in Nigeria doesn't even make up to N15k a month.Think about it.

On your own case,there're a bunch of unanswered questions,of which if you answer sincerely,most intelligent NL 'll be able to advice. Some of the questions are, how much exactly does he make? Is he building a house or planning to? Is he planning to buy a car? Is he saving for your kids' higher education? Is he reinvesting in his business or is he just being prudent because of uncertain future? Is he into any of those long term investment? Answers to the above questions 'll go a long way to shade more light into your problem. So you need to sit down with him in a romantic mood a find out why if you know for sure he can afford more than N15k. Approach matters a lot in problem solving. Again,you didn't say what and what are included in this N15k. Does rent,electricity bill,water bill etc included? Does he buy like rice,beans,tissues,soaps,cooking oil in bulk? What part of the country do you live in and also the family's life style? How much do you make? It needs to be put into consideration too.

As long as you're sure he's not blowing up his money outside,I don't see anything bad for you to supplement as much as you can. However,to be sincere to you,things 're hard these days,I guess you may want to take a look at your expenditure and see if there 're things you can cut down on,like boiling and filtering your own water instead of buying the so-called pure or bottled water you don't know how they're prepared. Buying most things in quantity 'll also cut cost. Being prudent is one of the nice qualities of a good wife. This 21st century is no more time to cut your coat according to your size, it's time to cut your coat according to your cloth.

On the final note,do not compare yourself with your sister,your friends or your neighbors 'cos all fingers are not equal. Also do not forget that most people lives fake life to show off while in reality,they 're drowning in debt, don't be like them. I don't see any issue in your case so please,be wise and save your family 'cos it takes only a gun shot to start a war that can consume thousands of souls.

Until next time,good luck.

Dejitex, N950k can not fly the baby, thank you anyway

I need your help to check this Vin; JN8AR07Y8YW446271

Please help me check this Vin; JN8AR07Y8YW446271

Hello Fuke,I've a clean Nigerian used Nissan Pathfinder 1998 Model. If you're interested get back to me at el_dubino@yahoo.com

I've replied your mail Pinpin.

I can't promise you,but let me search my area in US.

Thanks for your offer Bamuqzy. Payment plan is what I promise we can workout. Sale price is what I need you to look at it and see what you can do about it. You can contact me at el_dubino@yahoo.com
El_dubino

Engine pix. Yes Pinpin the engine is in perfect condition while the A/C is ice cold.
Thanks for your offer,you really tried. However am so sad to tell you that I need a little more from you.

Thanks a lot Sonety2k.

Vin check please. 2HKRL18541H529900
Thanks for all the good job you're doing.

more pix

This clean 2001 American SPEC Honda Odessey is out for quick sale. It's Silver exterior and ash fabric interior; Power windows and side mirrors; CD/Cassette/Am/FM Player; Perfect engine condition and ice cold AC; Automatic transmission and 91k miles.
Vin;  2HKRL18541H529900
The car is right now in Lagos, you can call 07071144014 for inspection. Contact me at el_dubino@yahoo.com if you have any question or need more information.
Asking  N1.350m
el_dubino

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