Crime › Re: Nigerian National Arrested In Nairobi Drug Bust Along Ngong Road Kenya (pix) by Ebydeb: 12:46pm On May 13 |
Making us proud in negative way. They should send him to jail without wasting time. |
Health › Re: Alexx Ekubo : A Silent Health Crisis Many Nigerians Ignore by Ebydeb: 12:37pm On May 13 |
With all his money, why did he not take proper care of his health? He was busy chasing fame. So sad! |
Romance › Re: Which Man Broke This Lady's Heart? by Ebydeb: 12:31pm On May 13 |
Bad experience with men pushed her to tattoo such. Its ugly though. |
Jobs/Vacancies › Re: "Nigeria, Did I Offend You?" - Man Asks 4 Years After NYSC Without A Job by Ebydeb: 4:56pm On May 12 |
Learn a skill. |
Politics › Re: FG, World Bank In Talks Over Second-largest $1.25 Billion Loan by Ebydeb: 4:31pm On May 12 |
Its like every month fresh loan to borrow. This govt has finished us. |
Christianity Etc › Re: Catholic Evening Prayers by Ebydeb: 5:34pm On May 11 |
This is a welcome development. Amen to all the prayers. |
Politics › Re: Peter Obi And I Exchanged Pleasantries At Abuja Airport - Reno Omokri (video) by Ebydeb: 5:31pm On May 11 |
After which you will come to social media to attack him. Wolf in sheep clothing! |
Foreign Affairs › Re: Trump Calls Iran Response To US Proposal To End War 'totally Unacceptable' by Ebydeb: 5:15pm On May 11 |
End war! War is bad! |
Politics › Re: Gov Fubara Successfully Screened, Cleared For APC Governorship Primary(pix) by Ebydeb: 5:13pm On May 11 |
Congrats to the governor! |
Politics › Re: N10,000 Can Feed Modest Family For Several Days - Tinubu's Aide, Tope Fasua by Ebydeb: 3:08pm On May 09 |
This man is far from the truth. |
Family › Re: How Do I Get Rid Of A Visitor Who Refuses To Leave? by Ebydeb: 1:43pm On May 08 |
Be a man and open up to him. Remind him that he has overstayed his welcome. Tell him to leave your house. |
Politics › Re: Joseph Tegbe: I Can’t Promise 24-hour Power But Nigerians Will See Improvements by Ebydeb: 3:28pm On May 07 |
Nigerians need 24hours electricity. If you cannot deliver then go. |
Romance › Re: She Stopped Picking My Calls After This by Ebydeb: 5:40pm On May 04 |
Not every story should appear on social media. |
Politics › Re: FG Announces May 1 Public Holiday For Workers’ Day by Ebydeb: 4:07pm On Apr 30 |
Happy workers day to all the workers. Enjoy the holiday. |
Politics › Re: FG Announces May 1 Public Holiday For Workers’ Day by Ebydeb: 4:06pm On Apr 30 |
Telltruth123: For how long are we going to suffer in Nigeria, it is not easy for we salary earners. Whenever anybody mention Tinubu going for second term, it changes my mood and I feel sad. We are tired of eating pomo everytime, we work everyday and we cannot afford basic needs. Supported! This govt needs to give way. |
Food › Re: Spilled Party Jollof: Will You Pack It Or Leave It? by Ebydeb: 3:52pm On Apr 30 |
I will leave it for the gods of the land. |
Food › Re: Spilled Party Jollof: Will You Pack It Or Leave It? by Ebydeb: 3:51pm On Apr 30 |
Sermwell: With the Damage Yekini has done to the country, people will definitely pack it or even sit on the floor and eat!! God go punish Yekini oh  Who is yekini? |
Family › Re: Who Should I Give the Money, The Wife, Sibling,Mother Or Charity - Advise Needed by Ebydeb: 3:57pm On Apr 29 |
The kids need the money most. Give it to whoever that is taking care of them. |
Health › Re: Yobe Recorded Nigeria’s Highest Fertility Rate At 7.5 Births Per Woman by Ebydeb: 3:41pm On Apr 29 |
How does fertility affect location? |
Crime › Re: See The Big Cat I Killed Today by Ebydeb: 2:37pm On Apr 29 |
You killed innocent cat that mistakenly entered your house? |
Properties › Re: Increment Of Rent All Of A Sudden by Ebydeb: 2:32pm On Apr 29 |
Inasmuch as i dont support hike in price of things. The best advice for you is to move to an apartment within your budget. |
Food › Re: What Is The Weirdest Food Combo You Have Ever Tried? by Ebydeb: 2:25pm On Apr 29 |
Bread, noodles and fried eggs. White rice and egusi soup. |
Politics › Re: Reno Omokri On Femi Fani-Kayode: Then Vs Now (Photo) by Ebydeb: 4:01pm On Apr 28 |
Wolves in sheep clothing. |
Crime › Re: Gunmen Kidnap 23 Pupils In Kogi Orphanage Attack by Ebydeb: 4:41pm On Apr 27 |
This government has failed woefully. |
Politics › Re: Gov. Yusuf Fumes Over Flaunting Of Pants By Kano APC Youths by Ebydeb: 4:39pm On Apr 27 |
This is so shameful. |
Politics › Re: Politicians Have Kicked Off Their Season (photo) by Ebydeb: 4:37pm On Apr 27 |
Eye service politicians. |
Crime › Re: Police Operatives Turn Down ₦100M Bribe by Ebydeb: 5:12pm On Apr 25 |
There is no smoke without fire. check very well. |
Politics › Re: Where Is The Siemens Deal? 4 Years Later, Nigerians Are Still In The Dark by Ebydeb: 5:10pm On Apr 25 |
APC told you that it is signed sealed and delivered. And you believe them? |
Politics › Re: Did Kano Government Distribute Pants To Women As Empowerment Gifts? by Ebydeb: 5:07pm On Apr 25 |
Inukwa! wetin musa no go see for gate? |
Romance › Re: Involuntary Single Ladies In Nigeria: What’s Really Going On? by Ebydeb: 1:58pm On Apr 24 |
Not everyone is lucky to meet their soulmate. |
Romance › Re: Involuntary Single Ladies In Nigeria: What’s Really Going On? by Ebydeb: 1:58pm On Apr 24 |
essentialone: You just described a whole demographic that nobody wants to talk about because it makes everyone uncomfortable.
*“Involuntary single ladies”* — fine, educated, stable, ready… but still single. Not by choice. By market failure.
And you’re right: they’re everywhere. Hospitals, banks, law firms, tech companies, church choir, weddings. The complete package with an empty ring finger. And it’s not because “men are intimidated” or “their standards too high”. That’s lazy gist.
*Why it’s happening — the ugly truth about the dating market now*
1. *Too many options, zero filters* Dating apps + Instagram + LinkedIn = everyone is accessible. So men keep “shopping”. Why commit to 1 great woman when 10 “maybes” are in his DM? He promises today, disappears tomorrow because tomorrow brought a new option. Women do it too, but men drive the ghosting stats.
2. *Serious men marry early, unserious men stay in circulation* The guys ready for marriage at 28-32 lock down fast. Who’s left in the pool at 33+? Mostly: players, wounded men, perpetual “I’m not ready”, and broke men looking for a sponsor. So these solid women keep dating from a pool that’s already filtered for non-commitment.
3. *Timeline mismatch* She’s 29-35, educated, stable. She wants kids + marriage in 2-3 years. She dates intentionally. The guy she meets is 35, “still finding himself”, “not under pressure”, wants to “see where it goes”. He can waste 2 years because his biological clock isn’t ticking. Hers is.
4. *She adjusted expectations, but the bar is on the floor* These women already lowered standards: “Just be God-fearing, have work, and want family”. That’s bare minimum. Yet they still meet men who lie, cheat, can’t communicate, or want her to be mummy + girlfriend + ATM. So “adjusting” doesn’t help when the market is broken.
5. *Strong women get punished, not rewarded* A doctor/nurse who paid her own bills, has her car, no drama, gets called “too independent” or “masculine”. Meanwhile, the high-maintenance, jobless babe gets chased because she “needs saving”. Some men don’t want a partner. They want a project. So the stable woman gets ignored.
6. *Women don’t approach, men don’t propose* Culturally, she still can’t say “I like you, let’s date seriously”. She has to wait to be chosen. But the men choosing are unserious. So she’s stuck hoping the right one finds her in traffic.
*What happens to these women?*
You listed it: *Some settle* – Marry the barely-available guy because “better than nothing”. Resentment later. *Some give up* – “God when” turns to “God abeg”. Career, travel, cats, God. *Some still hopeful but tired* – They’re dating but numb. Every new guy feels like another interview that will end in “we’ll see”.
And the worst part? *It’s not their fault.* They did everything “right”. School, career, character, prayer. But the market rewards vibes, not value.
*What the market isn’t saying out loud*
1. *Men are scared of responsibility, not strong women* Marriage, kids, bills, in-laws — many men in Nigeria are running from that. So they date the stable woman, enjoy her peace, then run when she asks “what are we?” Because she represents adulthood.
2. *Attention is cheaper than commitment* It costs a man ₦0 to say “you’re wife material” in DM. Costs ₦5M+ to actually marry her. So he distributes free compliments to 20 women and commits to none.
3. *Many women are involuntary single, many men are involuntary unserious* He’s 38, still in situationships, telling people “good women don finish”. No, bro. You met 4 good women. You wasted 6 months each because you can’t choose.
*So what’s the way forward for these ladies?*
Because “just pray” isn’t a strategy.
1. *Stop dating in the general pool* – If every guy in your DM is 33+ and “not sure”, your pool is contaminated. Meet men through married friends, professional networks, places where commitment is pre-screened. Farmers market vs Night club.
2. *Time-box ruthlessly* – “I’m dating intentionally. In 3 months we should know if this is heading to marriage. If we don’t, I exit.” Say it early. Unserious men will flee. That’s the point.
3. *Stop adjusting, start requiring* – “God-fearing + has job” is not enough. Add: “Can plan a date, communicates daily, introduces me to friends in 2 months, talks about future without sweating”. If he can’t, next.
4. *Date younger if values align* – Many 28-32 year old men are more ready than 38 year olds. Age isn’t maturity. Stop capping yourself at “must be older”.
5. *Consider location arbitrage* – Harsh but true: Nigeria dating market is brutal. Some women find serious men when they relocate to other locations in Nigeria, or even to abroad. Different pond, different fish.
6. *Build life without waiting* – Buy the land, freeze eggs, travel, start business. So you choose marriage from abundance, not desperation. Men can smell desperation and they run.
*What men need to hear too*
If you’re a serious guy reading this: These women are not scarce. They’re just tired of auditioning for clowns. If you meet one and you’re ready: 1. *Say it early* – “I’m looking for a wife, not a vibe.” 2. *Move with clarity* – No “let’s see how it goes” for 1 year. 3. *Match her effort* – She’s stable. Don’t come with chaos.
Because right now, the best women are going single while the worst men stay in rotation. That’s how a society collapses.
*Bottom line:* The dating market don change, yes. Less clarity, less commitment, more options. But options without character = poverty.
These women aren’t “unlucky”. They’re in a rigged game. Solution isn’t “try harder”. Solution is “change the game or change the players”. You have said it all...well done. |
Politics › Re: There Is No Religious Persecution Or Genocide Against Christians - Lai Mohammed by Ebydeb: 1:51pm On Apr 24 |
Coming from the mouth of minister of lies. |