Would you rather choose a 'village girl' over a 'city girl? '

By chukwudi Anagbogu ( 08063305177 )

We are used to men thronging rural areas in search of wives.A man who lives in the city with countless girlfriends would suddenly give a directive to his kits and kins to 'look for a wife for him in the village.' So does it mean there are no good women in the urban areas? Well, I know that such trend is fast changing, but we need to compare ladies in these opposite environments.

Women in the rural areas tend to be more submissive than those in the urban areas, according to a good number of respondents. The obvious inferiority complex as well as the influence of the core cultural values which accord husbands the godly status, may be a reason for this. Marriage in the rural areas is always thorough, and the involvement of one's family is fostered. The villagers know one another, thus whatever behaviour you exhibit is already well known by all. Due to the high rate of civilisation and western education in the urban areas, our cultural values are eroded by the western culture, which is completely antithetical to what we have here in Africa. There, issues like feminism and gender equality become the order of the day...

In the past, the search for virgins normally takes one to villages; people felt that girls in the villages are more responsible than those in the urban areas. But as someone who has the privilege of residing in both environments, I can tell you categorically that it is not so. As a matter of fact, many of them who may still be virgins are so, not because they are morally sound, but because they have not had much opportunity. ... Give them little opportunity and you will be shocked! As a matter of fact, a good number of young girls and women prostituting in cities and even in certain countries, emanated directly from the rural areas. So, the issue promiscuity depends on the individual and background. But I believe that prostitution thrives more in cities partly because of the pressure to compete and survive. As a matter of fact, women in the rural areas are more likely to have veneral diseases, even HIV than their city counterparts. This is because most of them lack the requisite knowledge of safe sex practices; unprotected sex is more with them. Worse still, their male counterparts are no better in terms of enlightenment. Do you need to ask why there are more cases of 'unwanted pregnancies' in the rural areas than in the urban?

Are rural women more productive than urban women? I don't think that there is any scientific evidence to that effect. However, exposure to contraceptives ,hard drugs and even processed food by the urban women makes the rural women have an edge in this regard.

Marriage is a mystery. If you pray for a virtuous wife, you must equally be virtuous. Good things come to those who deserve them. As you are busy destroying other men's future wives in the name of boyfriend - girlfriend relationships, know that yours is suffering the same fate from other men. This is applicable to women.
Bottomline: It doesn't matter where you reside. You can lead a virtuous life, and be sure that the reward would not be far.

Would you rather choose a 'village girl' over a 'city girl? '

By chukwudi Anagbogu ( 08063305177 )

We are used to men thronging rural areas in search of wives.A man who lives in the city with countless girlfriends would suddenly give a directive to his kits and kins to 'look for a wife for him in the village.' So does it mean there are no good women in the urban areas? Well, I know that such trend is fast changing, but we need to compare ladies in these opposite environments.

Women in the rural areas tend to be more submissive than those in the urban areas, according to a good number of respondents. The obvious inferiority complex as well as the influence of the core cultural values which accord husbands the godly status, may be a reason for this. Marriage in the rural areas is always thorough, and the involvement of one's family is fostered. The villagers know one another, thus whatever behaviour you exhibit is already well known by all. Due to the high rate of civilisation and western education in the urban areas, our cultural values are eroded by the western culture, which is completely antithetical to what we have here in Africa. There, issues like feminism and gender equality become the order of the day...

In the past, the search for virgins normally takes one to villages; people felt that girls in the villages are more responsible than those in the urban areas. But as someone who has the privilege of residing in both environments, I can tell you categorically that it is not so. As a matter of fact, many of them who may still be virgins are so, not because they are morally sound, but because they have not had much opportunity. ... Give them little opportunity and you will be shocked! As a matter of fact, a good number of young girls and women prostituting in cities and even in certain countries, emanated directly from the rural areas. So, the issue promiscuity depends on the individual and background. But I believe that prostitution thrives more in cities partly because of the pressure to compete and survive. As a matter of fact, women in the rural areas are more likely to have veneral diseases, even HIV than their city counterparts. This is because most of them lack the requisite knowledge of safe sex practices; unprotected sex is more with them. Worse still, their male counterparts are no better in terms of enlightenment. Do you need to ask why there are more cases of 'unwanted pregnancies' in the rural areas than in the urban?

Are rural women more productive than urban women? I don't think that there is any scientific evidence to that effect. However, exposure to contraceptives ,hard drugs and even processed food by the urban women makes the rural women have an edge in this regard.

Marriage is a mystery. If you pray for a virtuous wife, you must equally be virtuous. Good things come to those who deserve them. As you are busy destroying other men's future wives in the name of boyfriend - girlfriend relationships, know that yours is suffering the same fate from other men. This is applicable to women.
Bottomline: It doesn't matter where you reside. You can lead a virtuous life, and be sure that the reward would not be far.

Who is really a prostitute?

Whenever we hear the word, "prostitutes, " our minds go to those young ladies and of course guys who stand at strategic and vantage locations looking for clients for 'a night stand. ' Often times, society treat them with utmost disdain and derogation. Many see them as society misfits and devils' incarnate, to mention but a few. However, we need to tell ourselves the plain truth by admitting that prostitution goes beyond standing on the highways and trading one's body for money.

As far as you go down with someone in exchange for material things, you are not different from the commercial sex workers on the streets. When you yield to someone's sexual demands in order to gain a favour from the fellow, you are prostituting. It doesn't matter where the act takes place( whether hotel, motel, home,church, shrine, market, bush etc).

These days, sex is used by a lot of people to attain every single height in the society. Employees are laid by bosses in exchange for quick and unmerited promotions/favours, employments are given to those who are ready to play ball, lecturers and students go down in exchange for grades, landlords harbour tenants who don't pay a dime to them in exchange for sex, the list is endless. With these, what gives one the moral right to condemn the commercial sex workers?

While I condemn prostitution in its entirety, in any form or by any means, we need to do a reality check. Ignoring this aspect of our lives is high level of pretex. If you have ever traded sex for any material thing, then u have prostituted. Thus, you need contrition.

Being in a relationship is not employment; or an avenue to eke out a living. A person that has integrity would not turn to a 'romantic beggar and trickster' just because his or her partner is willing to spend the cash.

More often than not, things gotten out of prostitution do not last. That is why a lot of commercial sex workers still don't live the kind of lives that they anticipated before venturing into that.

What shall we say about some parents whose daughters in the universities send them money regularly, without them asking its source? Shouldn't it be the other way round? Remember, if you consume stolen goods knowingly or unknowingly, you are a thief. Thus if you benefit from prostitution, directly or indirectly, you are one!

Prostitution seems to thrive, and that has contributed to the high level of laziness among our youths; no one wants to work hard anymore. They are always fast to blame the government for their plight.

That notwithstanding, we still have very responsible and hardworking people in our society, though they are in the minority.

Remember that prostitution is a sin that runs down a nation and a person, and no religion supports it. What we need is reality check as well as being forthright. That will pay us better.
Chukwudi Anagbogu ( 08063305177 )

Think inwards!

How would you feel if you discover that the young, innocent-looking and naive househelp you supposedly rescued from perpetual timidity by bringing her to the city is pregnant for your beloved husband? Or as a man, you return home unannounced to behold your houseboy making out with your wife? That would be unimaginable, right?
The above is a regular spectacle in society today. But, the problem with us is that we are never proactive in all we do. We get careless over vital issues, that our eyes only open when the damage is done.
Are you a 'madam' who relaxes on the sofa minute after minute ordering your househelp around? Or you are so lazy or too 'busy' to attend to your husband's personal chores? Or you allow housemaids to do practically everything at home, even when you have able-bodied children doing nothing? Or the nature of your work does not give u a second to attend to domestic issues? Then u might have just planted a timebomb which would eventually explode someday.
A man is his wife's responsibility. When you allow a maid or anyother female at that, to cook and serve your husband meals, dress his beds, clean his shoes, even washes his clothes, hmmm, you might just be living with a co-wife. When you spend time maltreating or abusing her, be sure that she would have the pity of your husband. Naturally, when he begins to develop affection for her, you have no justification to complain: you called for it. She is closer to him than yourself. Worse still, if you are the nagging type, and the only consolation he has is the hapless househelp at home, then you must doing an abrupt re-think.
I am not trying to justify what a lot of men do with domestic staff, but when you keep dangling banana before a monkey, it's only a matter of time before it devours it. However, some very responsible men still keep themselves in check, a lot fall by the wayside.
If as a man, you spend day and night doing business and junketting all over the world,with little or no time for your family, you are simply planting an explosive. What women, and children need most is time and attention, not necessarily money. Women need attention hundred percent, and when you starve them of such, be ready to take whatever comes out of it. When you allow the male domestic staff to deputise for you, the rest is history. Women love who they see. Forget about distant relationship ; it is a two way affair.
A woman should know that certain chores at home should be handled by them, especially the ones that directly involves the husband. Caring for your husband is not just about giving him sexual satisfaction, it goes beyond that. Allowing your househelp usurp part of your marital duties or forcing her to do so, is simply pushing her towards your husband and relinquishing your position as the woman of the house. Between a woman who cooks for the whole family, cleans the house, washes the clothes including doing school run, and the one who goes to work and returns without doing any chore, who is the wife? Your guess is as good as mine
Chukwudi Anagbogu (08063305177)

Courtesy!
By Chukwudi Anagbogu

An uncle of mine once spotted a beautiful lady somewhere near a carwash. On making enquiries from people around, he gathered that she had a stall at the nearby market where she sold fresh tomatoes. He had wanted to accost her instantly, but thought against it. He wasn't one of the numerous men who run after girls shamelessly on the way. He decided to look out for her at the said market. After having his car washed, he decided to drive down to the market to check on the lady. He had no plans to immediately woo her. He just wanted to have a closer look at her. After all, was it not said that "a mere glance at a plate of soup would either motivate one to increase the quantity of garri one is to eat it with or reduce it." He disguised as a customer as he effortlessly located her stall where she was already seated facing her wares.
"How much is your tomatoes? " he asked.
"Fifty fifty naira, " she responded more or less carried away with the smartphone she was operating.
"Won't you sell twenty naira?" he asked trying to sound as businesslike as possible. She stopped in her tracks and threw an offensive glance at him.
"Bia this man, if you don't want to buy tomatoes, you get out of my shop. Why not take it free of charge, " she thundered and hissed to the consternation of some of the passersby. Undaunted, the man replied in a different tune.
"Nne are we quarrelling? I just asked a question, or is it wrong to price something again? "
"What type of question is this one? Please if they have sent you, tell them you've not seen me," she enthused.
Of course, my uncle quietly melted into thin air. If the lady had known his true mission, she would not have shown her true nature!

If you have ever been to a well-run company, you will be charmed by the way its staff,especially the customer care heads attend to customers. They exude politeness and courtesy at its peak! No matter how you present your grievances, all they would do is to pacify you. That is what we need to imbibe in our day to day lives.

A temperamental person may not be able to succeed in getting his/her problems solved in a bureaucratic set up. The saucy/crude nature of many of these 'office workers' could ignite the beast in anyone. Secretaries, clerks and even messengers see themselves as gods and goddesses, and try to exert more influence than even their employers. It is in Nigeria that one would enter an office and meet the staff engrossed in private conversations or even watching movies or doing other irrelevances, while they have a multitude of people to attend to. When you try to call them to order, you would receive the insult of your life!

Most couple fall out just because of lack of manner of approach from either side. A woman would try to ride on her husband while the husband would try to prove to the wife that he's in charge. At the markets, buses and other public places,people quarrel and exchange words with people they don't even know, over issues that are not really weighty.
Not applying diplomacy and courtesy could land one in troubles one may never come out of. Sometimes, it may lead to fisticuffs. You can lose your job or a favor, just because you cannot bridle your tongue. The consequences are endless.
Offences can be overlooked and forgiven just because you admitted to them and politely put the records straight. You may lose a case or even receive serious backlash when you table your grievances discourteously. If you are aggrieved, it does not permit you to be vulgar or insult the person who has offended you. Courtesy and manner of approach can touch even the hardest mind. It can elicit remorse from the most unrepentant person.

It is only someone without education or domestic training that talks to people without regards. No matter who you are and the height you have attained in life, you must not treat your subordinates with scorn and disdain. It may interest you to know that your subordinates have a role to play on your continuous elevation or otherwise. Granted, a lot of people take their domestic and personal problems to their places of works and transfer the resultant aggression on 'innocent' customers, but is that right?

As a young girl, you don't need to insult or scorn a man to show him that you don't like him. You can actually tell a man off courteously and politely, and still achieve your aim. Ladies who insult men do not end well. You rather be silent than insulting!

It is a mark of bad parenting to use derogative, insulting and demeaning words on one's children. Most parents are guilty of this. When you use words such as 'idiot', 'stupid', 'nonentity', etc, you are further destroying the child. Even teachers are not left out. Diplomacy, politeness and Courtesy are requisite tools in the formation and correction of a child!

Let us treat one another with respect, age and class notwithstanding. Being polite and courteous does not make you weak and powerless, rather it portrays you in good light. No matter how provoked you are, eat a humble pie. This is one of the best ways to show godliness.
Chukwudi Anagbogu (08063305177