₦airaland Forum

Pls check this link and comment.
https://www.nairaland.com/1004573/need-peoples-advice-how-talk

I am posting this on behalf of a friend of mine and I want to see people’s honest opinions.
I have a friend who was dating a girl between 2008- summertime 2009.
During the process of my friend talking to this girl I knew her much he liked her and never failed to show it. I warned him several times how he will end up regretting his actions.
Like any normal youth. My friend engages in various petty businesses to make money. In 2009 he was going to organize a convert in Canada that would have made tons of money. The whole thing failed to materialize what happened. His "lover" left him because of the shame and impression her friends put true her head. He is smart in school and does very well for himself compared to most of his peers.
My friend is a Yoruba boy while the girl is from Delta state. I am only writing this to know how to advise my friend. For the past four years my friend has not given up on this girl. He is constantly begging her to the extent that he is seen as a joker amongst various people. The girl takes pride and joy in constantly embarrassing the guy amongst her friends to boost and massage her ego
There is no memorable day the guy doesn’t try to show his love and care to the girl by buying various gifts. Let me mention even while dating the guy the girl was never there for him. Birthday, when sick. That’s when she finds a fight to pick up on him so she has an excuse to give why she was not there for him. My friend usually would confide in me how he doesn’t know if the girl doesn’t appreciate what he is doing for her. The girl hardly respected this guy she usually wanted to be the one to dictate how things go about. Whenever he refuses to adhere to her request a fight comes up. I usually was there for my friend to confide in till I started telling him the bitter truth. He completely shut me off because he felt I just hate the girl and all I kept telling him was run before this girl ruins you,. He would not fail to engage you in a fight and war of words if you say anything wrong about the girl or let him know how this girl is using him to shine. Whenever she gets angry is fine but he is never allowed to state his own frustrations to the girl. Everything must go her own way.
Finally it’s not like the girl is some jaw dropping individual. She is a typical well-kept girl and that’s what makes everyone wonder what the craze about her is. My friend recently graduated and the girl sat down in her house whereas days before she was jumping here and there for someone else’s grad.
My friend has now become a laughing stock that when people see they mock and throw smart comments at. The girl surrounds herself with girls that on a normal level playing ground have no basis to talk to the guy in question but because of the embarrassments caused him they also come around to discuss him and mock him.
I need advice on how to talk to my friend again and advise him properly without him thinking I hate the girl in question. For the past for years my friend has been unable to have a normal life, the girl has affected his ability to relate with other girls because of the bitterness in him. This is a guy that usually would get a better girl that would treat him the way he deserves to be treated. This guy puts in a lot of work for this girl. Constantly lets her know how much he likes her and does anything possible. Interestingly whenever it’s her turn she never fails to run away. Last week I received a call from another friend who dares not talk to my friend about the girl about how there is a rumor that the girl picked up a fight with him simple because he asked her a question and that he was expecting a gift from her and in her usual habit of running away she stopped talking to him, cursing him with God and all other unbelievable things.
Please how do I talk to such a guy? The girl once told the guy that he is not in her caliber ( lol) which is an irony. The guy should be the one saying that. The guy is a modest Yoruba guy who might deceive you into believing he has nothing but his friend’s know better! What makes a guy keep believing things can work out with such a girl? My friend was sick from a surgery for almost two months and this girl never checked up on him once. Whereas the girl has an issue of serious menstrual pain. You need to see how my friend frets and his scared for her. He is not an expressive person and usually keeps stuff to himself until you force him or lie to him that you heard from someone else.
Is this a tribal issue? Would the girl act in such way to a fellow delta boy? Is it a sin to show a girl how much you love her? How do put myself in a position to talk to him again? What could possibly be the reason a guy would go out of his way every time for a girl that would not leave her comfort zone for him for once? Yet he would say one day she would change. He once found out I used to laugh at him alongside other people and was really pissed off. Please advise. Someone needs to intervene before he has an emotional breakdown