@ yimmi,

thanks for your concern but pls remember i'm not a small boy, i'm 37 and i don't think i can afford to make mistake at this level and i also want you to know i have not threatened to leave her throughout the time. She would just start begging whenevr she discovered i found her out. she would then own up and beg for forgiveness.

I also mentioned i my write-up that the second wardrobe contains ridiculously tight jeans and revealing tops that I had to ask her not to come to my house in those dresess again.

My mind is made up now and I wont even try any lady from any church NEVER again,

@ good for you.  why are young men not able to talk to their mum about things like this these days?

in my days i could go to my gran or mum over things like this for advice.  what is going on?

I knew the response from my mum would be automatic LEAVE HER!!, I just called her today to inform her and she made me promised I'll never allow her come to my place again and she immediately asked me to come home and marry her friends daughter which was my fear initially, I knew she could influence me a lot.

@hmmmmmm . . . .all these . ."seekin the face of the Lord" people sef  


me sef, i no dey for that anymore, like these ladies don't respect you when you are gentle and faithful.

thanks all of you for your responses. I had my mind made up already but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't wrong

ladies in house pls i need help

My story;

I started dating this lady I met in the church after few months of observation. she apperas cool, gentle and lady-like and after speaking with one or two church elders to confirm her behavior, I went for her and that was after so many fasting and praying from my own part. She agreed after about 2months which she claimed she needed to seek the face of The Lord.

She was about going for her NYSC then and we had very little time to spend together but I tried to utilised the little time to really know who she is outside the church environment and to my suprise, I discovered she has two sets of wardrobe; 1 for the long skirts and roundneck tops with those long Native dresses and the second one consists of ridiculously tight jeans and skimpy tops. The first she keeps for the church and the second she keeps for the world outside the church. I was suprised at these double identity and wanted to quit but she daily gives me an overdose of love assurance that I always forget about her shortcomings. We have started attending intending couples class and she has taken me to see her parents before I started discovering other things more nasty than double identity.

She receive calls from other men which I tought were probably from her family members or some other male casual friends so I initially didn't worry about her calls from men but there was this day which was the first time I discovred she has other as a lover, she owns up after heated argument and this happened on three diffrent occassions but each time, she pleaded with the promise not to let it happen again. The third one was an Aristo(she owned up) which now made me reported her to her Aunty. I actually made up my mind at that spot to end it all but I was prevailed over by her Aunt and a Pastor in the church so I grudgingly let go with a warning that if such thing happens again, it would be the end. Unfortunately, she traveled to Anambra the following week for her NYSC but my mind wasn't at rest and so, I bought another sim card and called her telling her that we met somewhere before and that I'd like to marry her but I didn't talk for long to avoid her recognising my voice I sent sms and so the worst happened; she didn't even resist at all, she quickly sent her address explaining how to board Anambra Bus and how to get to where she is at Anambra. I was so mad and called her immediately that she should forget about me and move on with her life. She started begging again and came down to lagos the following day when I refused her calls.

I loved her and she APPEARS to love me too going by her attitude before all these started. She a good cook, she is clean and neat, she does things in the house without waiting to be told and I know she would be a free giver if she had money or anything, in simple language, she is homely.


What do I do, That aspect of her life is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE, I do not want to have 4 childrend with 3 of them being a bastard.