₦airaland Forum

akezn:
I am a private secondary school teacher. I have just 4 thousand Naira left in my account because in the last 6 days alone, I have spent almost all I have saved this year(about 300k) and even borrowed 100k from my bank just yesterday. I didn't spend it on myself, but on my sick sister (kidney issues). Everybody believes that as the first son, it is my responsibility. Nobody is bringing a dime for her treatment. I wonder at times if it is a crime to be the first son. The pressure is too much on me right now. My friends have asked me to lock up too just like my siblings have done, but how can I abandon my sister? My parents are late. They both died in 2022 and since then, the load of taking care of her has been on me.
The whole thing is just so overwhelming 😞.

All I can tell you is that it is well. Just do your best bro and leave the rest for God

I wish ur sister well and pray for God's healing.
May God almighty help us

This is good . Very good for Democracy. Democracy must Thrive.
Democracy is here to stay

I thought OBI was in London as posted yesterday on his Facebook account. Abi na parody account?

QuinModah:
Here's an opportunity for you to talk! Let it all out hear a problem shared is half solved.

So that they will ban me?
As if you don't know nairaland.....

As I am right now, I am overwhelmed.
I don't even have anyone to talk to.
Most people are mean and wouldn't want to listen to other people's challenges.
And when you do the unthinkable, they will start saying why didn't he speak out. Speak out to who if I may ask?

gohf:
As we celebrate the heads and leaders of our various homes today, let us read some of the things that makes us a godly father from the bible.


1. A trustworthy leader who is responsible for the upbringing of his children:

Gen.18.19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Joshua 24:15b as for me and my house we will serve the Lord

Deut.6.7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Prov.22.6 Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.


2. Teach his children to be respectful and obedient

1Tim.3.4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (NIV)

Titus.1.6 An elder must be well thought of for his good life. He must be faithful to his wife, and his children must be believers who are not wild or rebellious.

Jer.35.6 But they replied, "We do not drink wine, because our forefather Jonadab son of Recab gave us this command: 'Neither you nor your descendants must ever drink wine....
Jer.35.8 We have obeyed everything our forefather Jonadab son of Recab commanded us. Neither we nor our wives nor our sons and daughters have ever drunk wine....

Prov.13.24 If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.

Prov.4.1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. 4 My father told me, "Take my words to heart. Follow my instructions and you will live.

3. Provide for his home and family

1Tim.5.8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Matt.7.9 You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?.. NO


4. In training should not provoke his children astray nor drive them into sin

Eph.6.4 And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord.

Col.3.21 Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

Lev.19.29 "'Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.


5. A father should be forgiving
Luke 15:11-32 the Father welcomes back his repentant son

Mal.4.6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

6. A Father should be encouraging
1Thess.2.11 - 12
And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you into his Kingdom to share his glory.


7. A father should pray and bless his children

1Tim.2.8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

Num.6.24 - 26
`May the LORD bless you and protect you. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.'

Gen.49.26 Your father's blessings are greater than the blessings of the ancient mountains, than the bounty of the age-old hills. Let all these rest on the head of Joseph, on the brow of the prince among his brothers.



God bless all fathers who follow after our heavenly Father. Happy Father's day 💐

I wish I ever had a father. I didn't even get to know him till he died.
Rest in peace, dad.
Happy father's day to all father's out there. God bless you all. God bless the OP too

eventainment:
Exactly what I was facing before I was so paranoid every call is billing was so frustrated and pay wasn't meeting up my needs as well . I started developing hatred and complained , I used every person's I meet that their family still supports them as more fuel to my anger and annoyance; but will you continue to be angry cause the billing wont stop till they go off someday out of this world. I had to change my mindset that they are my responsibility, I started setting out weekly money I should be sending it started with 5k weekly and it has risen to 20k weekly, this excludes drugs of up to 50k sometimes more monthly, aside lower priority billings, all I told God was to provide for me so I can comfortably provide for others. And so far God has been a magician. I don't go broke and I don't know how He does it. So change your mindset and everything will be alright.

I'm trying to adjust and reconfigure my mindset in this regard. All I can pray for now is for God to bless me so I can always help whenever the need arises. It gives me joy to do so.
Thank you for your input in this matter. I appreciate

ibechris:
E no easy for young men coming up at all.

I'm tired.............
Sincerely tired...............

I'm about selling my cooking gas and standing fan just to raise money to buy what I can survive on.

gohf:
tell that Spirit speaking to you that I said it is a lying Spirit, what is the difference between a fellowship hall and a church. the devil is an author of confusion o. Imagine deceiving you that you cannot lead prayers nor preach and you believed

Seems you know a lot about the Bible Sir.
I concur with your submissions and pray that God gives you more insight to His word

Nemesis0147:
e good sef
Let everyone rest for the main time

Is well my brother.
I wish she can understand with you.
Being a man isn't easy at all.

Talkisneeded:
The circle I’m in at the moment…
Everyday feels like war,every calls seem like battle…
But we will survive,won’t we??

How am I going to survive it. I may die young.
Now if I need a help, same people I help can't come through for me because they will say they don't have. Wish my dad was alive

AllBlack:
Pressure and Expectations.

E dey everywhere oh... even in Rich families.

Me am tired.
I'm just looking for where to hide now and ghost everybody

Nemesis0147:
mine is a graduate and married...
Since after her son's birthday...she has not called or messaged me because I didn't gift her son

Someone I gave 100k on mother's day
If I have to throw around...I will but if e no Dy
Dy no Dy understand

Nawao..

Why would she act like that ?
It doesn't make sense na.
Haba!

Nemesis0147:
Lol
They don't understand oh
The annoying but of it is when they start to guilt trip you...
You need to see when my married sister starts her own wahala
I Dy turn up oh but I just hate unnecessary complains

Like I always tell them...that I know my responsibilities and no need for them to remind me that it pisses me off
It makes it looks like you don't want to help but they won't know that you might be having a difficult time too that very moment

Its not funny at all.
Imagine my younger sister who refused to go further after secondary education, went ahead to marry and now has two kids always asking for my financial assistance

samfrancis1:
offcourse he knew it’s a grave offense yet went contesting.. it’s a huge blow and shake on the face of the country if out of several millions people./ he’s mentioned to be one who wants to lead.. someone who’s not and example to even the country. Someone who’s family can not stay in his home.. someome who prefers and Favour another man home to his. Lil liver man.. .. small balls who complain all time, and blame everyone else except himself. That can never be a leader …

You sounded really very incoherent here.

So according to you, it is a grave offence to contest ?
I Have nothing to tell u further.
Just continue...

Dzzzz:
My bro just calm down..Things can get worse but relax your mind..Look yourself in the mirror and say“I done try”..I’ve gone through this phase and still going through it,but now,I don’t stress myself anymore,if I can,I would..You’re doing well for the culture cause you can’t throw your family away..We’re all going to face this cause it’s the mentality of African parents so it’s just your turn.

Thanks for your kind words
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AMI3:
I respect Obi for that. Reno is just irrelevant.

Its well bro.....................................................

udemzyudex:
Rubbish report, you didn't even post the replies of Kenneth you just focused on what the governor said.

Stop showing yourself sir.
Instead of u to admit that you didn't watch the entire video, you're accusing someone of not posting the full video. Nawao

Villa12:
you're absolutely right. I have seen someone behind the bar today as a result of his parents and family burden. This guy had to venture into crime and he was making money from it until he was caught after some years. The sad part of it was that, the parents and siblings had moved on like he never existed. I heard from reliable source that the money being demanded before he can be released is out of their reach.

Parents now encouraged their children to go into crime to make money. They compare their neighbour or family friends son making money through crime with their children. If you live together with them problems, if you live outside they'd use call and visit to finish someone. I'm sure their parents didn't make them go through all these they're subjecting their children to.

So unfortunate

Villa, I'm already tired with everything. I'm tired. I'm tired

Villa12:
This is what most average family in Nigeria are going through. Parents give birth with nothing for the children and ended up relying on the children as their retirement plan.

A man came to check up on his son in my area, not knowing the young man has packed out to somewhere else since a month plus. The man said his son had stopped picking his calls. The man left unhappy. The guy friend came out after the father left, telling us how the family wants to kill the young man with bills.

The worse part of it was that, the young man is into cyber crime, popularly known as Yahoo Yahoo

Most Nigerian parents are failure

Our parents have failed us and nobody is talking about it. Every time, they blame us

Stephen0mozzy:
Wishing you success in all your genuine hustle brother. Here's what you should do..... You have to be firm and set boundaries.

Call a meeting with them and point blank state how much you will be able to support monthly - and that you'll send the amount to the family at the end of every month.

Any calls during the month for requests that are not related to health emergencies will not be honoured.

We all love our family, but you will soon start being pressured into starting your own family too - so you must start saving - what if you have a personal health emergency, with no savings aside, who will foot your own bills?

You need to have a talk with them about the reality of your financial situation.

As I am now, no savings. I'm presently sick. And I can't take care of my health cos I've being sucked and drained.

stanvesco:
I send my hugs. Just know that you are not alone on this. Unfortunately,many parents had the idea that dia kids would be the main retirement plan.

Trust me, just hang on and double your genuine hustle! No go do anything bad ohhhhh,bkos na dem go ask you who send you?


Also, occasionally say no and blank dem! They intentionally pressure you to squeeze what they can get off you falsely thinking that you have and you are hiding it from them.


My only problem with the current retiring parents and mine included is that the entitlement is becoming too much!
.

Anyways keep being strong brother

Thank you brother. I'm already tired o.
You may wish to check your notifications

talented321:
Your wife and kids is what you owe explanation to.. the rest can't force you when you are struggling..

I'm not married yet. But I understand your comment anyway. You spoke on a general Note

ZombieDredd:
Na that silence dey kill omockery

He must be sick at the nature of silence from obi

Hahahahhaha..
I swear. OBI na man.
Imagine ignoring the loquacious Reno making him feel irrelevant

AMI3:
I respect Obi for that. Reno is just irrelevant.

You're not checking your notifications sir.
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Zaheertyler:
Sorry sir
God forbid but if you die tomorrow
Them go use three days cry and life goes on


Whatever you want to do with that information you can do

You're right.
I don't know what to do again

AMI3:
To the point that they even assign somebody to attack Obi.
Since Obi has not been responding on Reno attack, now they are looking for another person to do the job.

True talk.

But they are failing. OBI is not moved at all. You can see that he doesn't give attention to Reno

Sometimes I wish I could switch off my phone or change my line or even block them from reaching me.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the whole thing. I'm under intense pressure.

I'm not yet a father to anyone, yet I'm being overwhelmed with responsibilities. Its not like I have. I'm just struggling to survive but no one seems to understand.
I've tried to explain to my mum but it seems she's not getting it. Whenever they call, demands must be made. I hate to hear the unending complaints all the time.
There was a time I decided not to pick their calls for two months and I was reported to other family members, I was severely scolded and I had to repent.
I sincerely don't know if being a first born is a crime. I don't. Probably a curse. At age 26, I'm already now having grey hair, I've gone bald too, due to lofty and enormous responsibilities. Its not I have a good job. My salary can barely sustain me in terms of feeding.
Whenever I see their calls coming in, my heart jumps. God knows I wouldn't have any issues helping my own blood but in a situation where they know I'm still struggling and they seem not to understand simply because I don't complain is what is annoying me.
Anxiety is killing me.
My blood pressure is now higher than it should be.
I'm always having one-corner headache due to overthinking.
I'm just fed up with life completely.
I can't even save. I've deprived myself of everything. Even the basic things that I should have as a young man.

Nlfpmod
Nlfpmod

AMI3:
I tell u bro.
Infact some people will not eat that day if Peter Obi name is not mention in a day.
Those that contest along with Peter Obi for presidency are no way to be found. Everyday media must talk about Obi. This Obi is a strong man

OBI is obviously a big name.
OBI is their food.
If u want food from APC, just insult obi.
For instance, Reno Omokri

Nigeria will collapse the day PETER OBIs name isn't mentioned in the media.
His only offence was that he contested the presidency just like every other Nigerian has the right to contest as enshrined in our constitution. That's just the offence. Why are they not talking about Atiku, sowore and others who contested same election. OBI remains the most dreaded politician. They fear, they see him as a big threat

toms55:
Lets discuss here or Mention me on a dead thread, how can i be of help ?

You know they will Ban me if I do it.
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