addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

Bro wake up,there's no smoke without fire. Your wife doesn't have any feelings for you anymore. She just might be seeing someone else. Believe it or not, just quote me when you get to the root of it.

I advise you to open you eyes and observe very well,be prayerful also cos there's nothing God cannot do.
Never trust a woman

fineboynl:
I’m in a serious situation. i have been dating this young widow for a while now without any issues.

But From the day I slept with her i have been noticing some things i don’t want to talk about.

Many things have been going through my mind concerning her.

From the igbo/Yoruba and all other cultures in Nigeria. What should a widow do before she start sleeping with another man? Should she returned the bride price?

Because I’m considering cutting ties with her and go for deliverance.

Funny how you placed the cart before the horse. You bleeped her before coming to make your mumu enquiry so deal with it.

ahnie:
I think open marriage should be encouraged in Africa.

Make I nor even mention cuckold abii dominatrix.


E go spice marriage up especially if your partner is wide.
Variety go become the spice

You don watch blue film taya.

omejeb:


Thanks a lot sir,I will be going for a confirmation test by the month end..and I have questioned the lady I had sex with she told me she too feels scared and haven't had sex after since she gave birth as a single mom

Believe the bold at your peril

Klass99:


And you don't want to know his story? Girl, don't play yourself like that. Ask him what happened, what led to his divorce and what part he played in it, what he thinks he could have done differently to preserve the union etc....

You can make this a one time Q & A session and listen carefully to what he says, then subsequently pay attention to his actions to see if they line up with most of what he said in that conversation or what he says in other conversations. His actions should line up with his words and if you see a recurring pattern where words and actions are not aligning please walk and keep on walking.

Female intuition is like an alarm inside most women which goes off when someone is bullshitting us. Call it basic instinct if you want to but don't ever disregard or ignore it, it will hardly lead you astray. So factor that into your overall assessments of him and people in general.

Divorced men tend to have a lot of baggage and issues sha. It ranges from trust issues to lack of commitment, listlessness and never seeming to know what they want, loving booty calls, anger and bitterness towards women in general, where they are constantly judging other women based on their past experience with the ex or her conduct, etcetera. Do you want to dance that dance?

Divorce really rocks their world and messes with their psyche especially if wifey was the one who initiated it and followed through with it to the end. They grow up believing divorce hurts and ridicules us more, so we won't want it and we will never leave, not after 3 or 4 kids na. It's like blunt force trauma with a shock and awe effect when it happens to them. The hurt and pain lingers for a long time, some turn to alcohol others to hoeing for survival.

I prefer widowed men or single and unencumbered ones, they come with less baggage.

How come you know all these about us? Well you're partially correct cos I'm facing something similar to what you said up there and it has reorientated me a lot.

delzbaba:
Men that act on impulse will end up destroying their marriage and everything they worked for, once you are married close your eyes to any outside influence, it is well.

Closing one's eyes to an obvious red flag is death on its own. You better open your eyes well cos love is not blind.

Mutemenot:


One customer spotted!

You no holy pass.

Ayo2004:


He didn't do much physical parenting apart from paying school fees and providing basic allowance.Infact,we rarely saw him.

It happened so fast.While we were preparing for his burial in the village,we had no idea this woman had carted his office and taken all documents.She even went to the bank and took hold of his accounts.Before we even realized anything,all was gone.It looked like she had planned it for a long time.

She might be your Dad's killer. Just to inherit him,this thought normally comes after seeing your dad's worth.
Fellow men,be careful and guided. God be with us.

Ategberoson:



Prioritizing on material things
inability to endure and tolerate
lack of manner of approaches
uncontentious
disloyalty



these are red flags that men ignore because of love

Well said bro,I'm now a single father and I guess your listed points were part of the reasons.

Ategberoson:



your bad wishes against them is still the reasoning your region is in a sorry state and in the hands of criminals



she died because of lack of parental principle, if her Mum is a responsible mum, she would still be alive today because the discipline, principle and fears won't allow her go out that very moment when her mum is still around, maybe she might be lucky not to fall in wrong hands



imagine her Mum say no going out for that day, it would have save her life, now she's gone because of indiscipline from her mum, never marry any lady that will made you to be single father on the long run

How can you tell she's going to make you a single father on the long run,right from the onset?

Candidlady:
.


You got no sense

Don't be so pained,at least you are not the only female that commented above him.

Please learn to use your sense.

BlackAdam65:
back then when black people use to rule the world marrying a white person was something to be ashamed of and black people wouldnt want to stoop so low as marrying an inferior being such as the whites but now it's seen as an achievement this show how low we have gone in life what a pity

When did black people rule the world? Please enlighten me.

Iboyx:
Hi guys,
So I'll keep this as short as possible hoping to get your advice.

So I landed a software engineer role in one of the most popular fintechs in Africa, a remote role and it pays about 200k for a start.

I also have a fully funded scholarship to the UK(biological sciences) with stipends of about 900£ monthly but you must come back to Ng if at the end of the programme you do not already have a job.

I know that all things being equal in the software job in a couple of years say 3 years I should be able to triple that amount, I know guys that have done similar.

The risk of going to the UK is being stranded at the end of the programme. Worst part is the msc is not in the I.T industry. I know guys that have picked up second msc degrees cause of no job and they don't want to come back

I'm very passionate about the IT industry, I literally thought my self

What do you guys advice.ooking forward to your input. Thank you

Go your your msc in UK.
You won't regret you did.

siofra:
Maybe I'm young and foolish, but I really don't mind being a second wife (or third wife or whatever) but I'll not be a first wife to a man with other wives.

And there are terms and conditions.

He must be super rich (like Ned Nwoko rich)

I will not have children for him (my mind may change)

I'll have my own apartment and I'll not take his name.

If he's Muslim, I'll not convert to his religion.


☺️

Then you're nothing but a thief and not a second,third or whatever wife.

poweredcom:


Wait o , there is a gal me and my guy banged last week ...Group Intimacy ...she later told us that she just left a relationship and she told us she is a social media type always on twitter ...

She even said the ex BF gave her money for business and dis and dat ...me n my guy were like WTF that nigga is a SImp ...we hammer her in turn and pay her off

She even said she is even trolling one guy because of some relationship shit...am sure its you bro am sure

We nak her ehn....very talky talky gal

Upaka:


Oh thank you. Of course we can.

I was expecting to hear from you.
Please chat me via my email.

Taylor90:
In as much as I support Nigeria disintegration I don’t support this sit at home thing

It is causing more harm to people of SE

They should just divide the country into three

SS as a Country

SE as a country

And SW will stay with North as a country

Problem solved

Dey play. Disintegrate make we see. I pity your stubborn people.

backtovillage:

Oga na you dey confused.
Just read and pass

LoL.

backtovillage:
What do you expect from an anti-West. He supported Russia invasion, but doesn't want Ecowas invasion

You're clearly confused as you don't know what to say.
You should have just read and pass.

Nonexisting1:
No, abnormal aboki.

Can't stop laughing at this.

wittywriter:
Do you have a job? How did you save up? If you can provide proof...I'll mentor you on how you can earn at least $2 daily on whatsapp for free then you'll pay me $100 afterwards(end of August).

Ability to overcome is key to been successful.


Wittyness

If this is legit, please I'm interested in it also (@the bolded).

theophorus:
Thank you for the Tax report and we are happy that the Book is looking really good but please can you guys fashion a way to ensure we enjoy the dividend of these Taxes?

Can we limit the % that goes to Individual pockets due to Corruption and Can the people really enjoy some social interventions?

They'll never do anything with it than looting. Nigeria can never be great cos it was planned to fail.
Only solution I see is for her to split.

BabaIbo:

I see what you're trying to do there... 😂🤣

Both of you are not normal.

SMREXY:
The fear of your woman coming over to become someone else and ruining your plans has made a lot of men looked the other way.

Another constraint is that there is a higher possibility that your spouse's visa application might take a long time to get approved or might not even be approved after several attempt. Leaving you with either returning home or continuing the marriage/relationship on a long distance basis, which isn't easy as it may seem.

Absolutely 💯 correct.
Nothing but perfectly said,you spoke my mind.

luminouz:


Lol...
Seems you ate agbado this morning. Calm down!!

You're jobless. Go get busy.

Nasri100:


If you think in this era that love is the reason mother and father have sex before having kids then maybe you are not very exposed.

People have sex randomly and have kids.

Besides, i think Maybe you don't understand what you quoted.

Love is between a mother/father to their wards. Mother love kid(s). Father love kid(s)

Anything else is exploitation and sacrificial

I totally understand your write up,you don't have to explain further. You try to understand my question which is what brings the parents of the ward together in the first place?

If in your opinion it's the bolded,then I can clearly say that's carelessness.

Don't quote me anymore. This isn't a debate so keep your opinion to yourself.
Reality always tell on people like you.

luminouz:

Oraimo cord, soaked in owanmbe soup

No wonder,you speak at the capacity of your brain. What a shame.