₦airaland Forum

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A man has sparked reactions after sharing his views on how polygamous marriages should be structured during an interview on Brown's Couch.

According to him, anyone planning to marry multiple wives should allow a large age gap between the marriages. He suggested that if a man marries his first wife at 25, he should wait until around 50 before marrying a second wife.

He argued that this would ensure the children are from different generations, reducing rivalry and making the older children more like guardians to the younger ones.

He also claimed that marrying a second wife just a few years after the first often leads to conflict, adding that once a couple has built a strong purpose together over the years, the first wife is more likely to accept the decision. Is this opinion valid or just another shallow talk?
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Many people confuse obsession with love because both involve strong emotions. However, true love and obsession are not the same.

Love is built on trust, respect, and genuine care for another person's happiness. Obsession, on the other hand, is often driven by fear, insecurity, and the need for constant attention. A person in love values their partner's freedom and individuality. An obsessed person may become controlling, jealous, or overly dependent. While love brings peace and emotional growth, obsession often creates anxiety and unhealthy attachment. Love encourages mutual support, whereas obsession focuses on possession. Healthy relationships thrive on balance, not fixation. Therefore, obsession may feel like love, but true love is far more selfless and freeing.
What do you think?
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Once I spoke about teen RAPE in a gathering and many men were quick enough to pull the blame on the VICTIMS (girls)! They added how exposure of some sensitive body parts and walking on lonely paths can be a trigger for most rape perpetrators.
I was amused but at same time angry on how full fledged adults think like kids . Rape can happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone despite how decent you think you are!

Nothing a victim wears, says, or does causes rape. Responsibility always lies with the perpetrator who chooses to commit the crime.
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A good ex?
Why did she become an ex then?

kingthreat:
A good ex, yeah. A bad ex, no.

Most religious people not only girls are mentally derailed! Sorry I'm not sorry.
They'd always come up with stupid reasons from their pastors, what do you mean by "I can't date/get married to a guy that's not a member of my denomination"

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Sometimes people come back after leaving, but not always because they truly love you.
They may miss the attention, comfort, or validation you once gave them.
A message or a return doesn't automatically mean they've changed.
Coming back is not the same as choosing you.
Missing you is not the same as valuing you.
Pay attention to consistent actions, not emotional words.
Remember, someone returning to your life doesn't always mean they deserve a place in it.
Is it really a good decision allowing someone back into your life after they must have left?
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I've heard people talk about love and how's selfless; putting others before you even when it starts becoming inconvenient, considerations even when you have to put up with sh!ts repeatedly, giving even when it drains you!
I think the highest form of love is self-love! Loving yourself to an extent that allows you to decipher when your love isn't reciprocated and being quick enough to address that or rather snap out of such relationships.

Most people think of love and think of sacrifices and I genuinely ask "what's the essence of sacrifice when the recipient doesn't value it? "

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Yeah,I've seen many scenarios where the same thing happen just switch roles and same people would judge same issue a different way

rapcy:
This is a very good question

Would you say same if it was a lady?

Sirhush:
I no blame the guy. Country Hard

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I recently saw a video of a 60+ white lady coming down from her country to meet her 20+ lover, who's she's been chatting with over the phone for a period of time now. The relationship obviously is a romantic one which is either "mutual" OR "a getaway plan" for the guy because most people were applauding the guy for being a smart one and making great decisions to be together with the lady... "anyway to make it" was the main comments that was associated to the video

Now my genuine question, why isn't such mentality used when a young lady gets married to an oldie?

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Finally someone is being genuine here, let's call infidelity a personal choice no matter who's it's coming from

Eba50:
that part u said part u said women need to be toiched to get honey isnt actually true. even by sight, they get turned on, especially when they see a cute guy, handsome, loaded etc. They get wet instantly

Exactly, most if not all men run to back to "men are naturally polygamous" when they're caught having an affair with no marriage intent

Samantha125:
A polygamous man is someone who dates with an intention of getting married, so the moment you claim to be polygamous by nature, it means you're telling us that you're entitled to practice polygamy, which is having multiple wives all at once.

There's a difference between a polygamous man and womanizer... Perhaps what you guys should be saying is that men are womanizers by nature, not polygamous.

I just looked up your name and I can't help you,lol

TotoSuckker:
Why should a man be tied to the same to,to for life?

Commitment isn't a scarce commodity as you're trying to make it look.
The context here isn't if a man decides to legally get married to multiple women according to his custom or choices; the context lies between men having a secret affair outside marriages and relationships then blame their polygamous nature.
A man can have 5 wives and still keep romantic relationship outside against the 5 wives at home, don't you think this way?

Samantha125:
Are women always reminding men on a daily basis about how they're polyandrous in nature? And how common is polyandry in Africa and the world compared to polygamy?

You can't say you're polygamous in nature, but get defensive when you get lawfully enforced to practice your heart's desire.

You're trying to make commitment a scarce commodity, trying to push infidelity as exploration.
Don't you think so?

Imindmybusiness:
No human man or woman is monogamous in nature. Men and women married or not will like to explore if opportunity comes and if they feel that society and religion will not judge them. They don't explore because of the fear that they will be judged. Men don't get judged too often which is why some now feel entitled to cheating.

Stop being religious, so if a particular set of men can't control the urge as you stated, then whose fault is it, "the polygamous nature of man" OR " just infidelity with an excuse"? just a harmless question

oz4real83:
you only read the part that suited your mind\emotion and forgot the part where I said it takes discipline and God to avoid such temptations.

Haha, you clearly stated that men should be enforced by the law to get married to up to 5 wives at least, and I asked if the table is turned, don't you think women should have equal law enforcing them to be married to as many as 5 men too?
If your answer is "NO" then it's gender inequality!

Samantha125:
I don't get it, what's the correlation between men being polygamous by nature and gender equality?

Talk about gender equality; don't you think women should be able to exercise such right too?

Samantha125:
Men are indeed polygamous in nature, in fact, a law should be administered whereby all men would be enforced to have married a total number of five wives by the age of 45, failure to comply with this law would then be punishable by ten years prison sentence with hard labour.

So in all of this, your conclusion lies between men can't control what/who they see and as such don't have to be blamed totally for infidelity?

oz4real83:
Men only need to see in order to be activated emotionally. With the kind of modern world we now have, men get to see lots of things that will activate them and the polygamy in them will come out. It takes the grace of God and discipline to overcome that urge. Women on the other hand need to be touched to be activated. Allowing yourself to be touched which will then lead to being activated is a premeditated and intentional act unlike that of men. A woman can decide not to be touched unlike men that can't decide not to see, everywhere a man goes, he must see something whether he likes it or not.

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Some men use the claim that "men are polygamous by nature" to justify cheating and avoid responsibility. While attraction to multiple people may be common, infidelity is still a choice. Faithfulness depends on honesty, self-control, and respect for agreed relationship boundaries. True commitment is not the absence of temptation but the decision to remain trustworthy despite it. You think otherwise?

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I was having this conversation with my partner and one question she threw at me made me quit talking about having a DNA test ran on 4 of my kids.

" Do you trust me ?" I replied "of course" and she pushed forward with "if you trust me why do you need confirmation on our kids", this question made me start questioning if conducting a DNA test was really necessary.
Up till now I haven't come up with any better reply on why I need a DNA test on our kids. I need suggestions please
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