₦airaland Forum

Jamieb:
I've been in this shoe and I can relate to it. You caught fire so quick while she's yet to fully accept you into her life as a friend.

The funny thing now is, the friendship can never return and things can't be same again. Anything you're doing now would be interpreted as you trying to date her. Just count your loses and move on

Hmmmm

ThaThinka:
I love you. Are you happy now?

Abi ooo

drnoel:
Lol, happens there is no wise old man in that thing called love. There is nothing to salvage.
You have poured your heart to her, and that makes you a man. Whether you did it at the wrong or right time doesn't take precedence anymore, cos you have done it. It also makes no sense to regret any actions already taken.
So what you do is this;
1) take a step back and observe the works of your hand.
2) become emotionless towards her.
3) slow cut down the daily talks to a triggle. Women have a horrible tendency of always trying to check if you are still into her. Don't give her that pleasure to think you still like her. Keep her ignorant. From experience that uncertainty always runs them crazy.
4) she will come back, they always do. If she doesn't U handle her Bleep up. Ofcos what you decide is left for you. I don't support evil so would advise guys beyond this point. But when I was younger, I had my own share of heartbreaks and girls breaking my own heart. If she doesn't comeback then wish her well and move on.
5) never let any person, male or female take the pride you have in yourself

Thanks chief. I've cut of communications for now and I won't get in touch until you reach out

drnoel:
I think you meant salvaged not savaged

Thanks jare. This brain no wan boot

Truvelisback:
U are hurt because she turned u down. Mistake1, u shouldn't have Spy her phonne. 2. U were too needy and desperate. 3. U call her, chat her too often. 4. U shouldn't have asked her on date. Already, she likes u. 5. U easily get discourage. She likes u, forget what abt what she just told u. Na forming.

Thanks chief. I know she liked me or once liked me cos she won't have come to spend 5 days with me from another state if she didn't like me. But then, I already accepted I made that mistake and I ain't bothering her again for now

Demigod22:
I remembered a lady back then in school, I wanted relationship and she wanted friendship. Because of the respect and genuine love I have for her, I gave her the friendship. The feeling was there but I suppressed it. I called her everyday and we chatted everyday, she was my junior, so I helped her with all her assignments, tutorials and materials.

This friendship lasted for eight months. After a logical conversation with my guys about how detrimental it is to keep friendship with a lady you love, I realized I was the one carrying the weight of the friendship. When I stopped calling she never called to ask about me. That was how the friendship died. Four months later, she called me only to ask me if I can help her with her project. I honestly disappointed her and let her know that her friendship was parasitic, she reach out only when she needed help.

My point of telling you this story is that, as a young guy, from that experience, I made a decision never to be just a friend with someone I have feelings for. If I ask you out and you don't want, I move ahead. I can't be friends with you. If it is not working, don't force it, never allow someone to love you out of pity, don't beg for attention or love. Those people you think are special are very ordinary, it is your love that made them special. For your emotional health, if the friendship is not working, just move on. It is supposed to be reciprocated, a mutual thing, not one sided.

Thank you

superCleanworks:
Why are you so emotional even in your writing like you were crying and typing

Relax bro. You're are over thinking everything. Reeeeeelax.

���, I actually believe I'm overthinking things. It's just not even normal for me to catch feelings within three months.

Jack005:
Stop acting desperate. She doesnt want to date right now, why not understand her point of view and let it go.. If you keep pushing it, you will seem too clingy and stubborn, women hate such attitude..

I get you bro and I totally understand her fears. I'm just finding it difficult to get her out of my head. Once she's out, the friendship can work fine and if she doesn't wanna date, that's totally okay.

Many will interpret this from different angles and either way, there will still be something to learn from it. Insults too will fly here and there and if it makes me get the thought out of my head, no qualms.

I will concentrate on things I did wrong which I feel is responsible for the present occurrence.

We met 3 months ago online and we started talking . We talked everyday, chat,video, calls name it. She wasn't up for a relationship according to her. Come January, she came down to my side so we can see for the first.
For the first time in my live, I felt at ease with someone I was meeting for the first time. No tension, no pretence.

While copying a code I typed on her phone, I checked through her pics. Why I did that I still can't explain it cos it's something I've never done before nor will day.
I talked about a pics I saw and she flared up about why I had to check her phone. I apologized and everything was back to normal.

She went back the 4th day and communication was still okay till 2 weeks later when I caught feelings for her.
Perhaps my brain was beginning to misinterprete a lot of actions as I feel she's beginning to withdraw . The final straw came when she said we need to talk. Sure we had a high tempo talk which centres on what she feels my friends were doing. You guys get the normal guys whining a lady your guys is speaking with. The normal when are we seeing you again, we are bringing yam stuff ooo.

Like, I'm giving them the impression we are dating while we were not. Right after the talk, in a bid to just end it and get over my emotions I told her I like her and wants to take things further with her.
Of course, her guards shot up and she said it again that she's not looking for a relationship and she's not God, .

I know she has trust issues due to heartbreak from her ex and to be candid I blame myself for getting caught in the wind so fast and not allowing the frenship time to evolve naturally.

If I call her we talk normally but that strain of coldness is still hanging. Chat is even worst, no live in it at all. For the firs time in my life, I actually want to give love a chance but it seems I already messed up everything and there is no redemption.
How best can I possible savage this.
I already anticipate a mix of insults, name calling etc. But then, meaningful advices would still come handy.