₦airaland Forum

I appreciate everyone's comment. Thanks. the counselor part may come later. to say the truth I was on the verge of exploding cos of the issue the day I put this up but with some responses here I will still wanna be patient a little bit more

BuddhaPalm:
You can’t be sure it’s low sex drive, might just be lack of interest.

@OP

Read up on how to give a woman good sex.

To achieve orgasms, the most important word is rhythm.

Once you get this right, you become a good Love Machine replacement.

So you need to take it to the next level...

Improve your attractiveness by being more decisive and not easy to “walk over”.

Engage in masculine stuff like lifting weights and exercising.

Look for the books: Married Man Sex Life and The Sex God Method.

I'm not deficient when it comes to matters under the sheet. I'm not going to blow my own trumpet but I'm as good as they come

ImaIma1:
Op i doubt that it has anything to do with the CS, delivery or baby. I am 2wks postpartum and i am already looking forward to going back into the DO. Besides i think about my husband's feelings too.

Since you have talked to her and she hasn't changed, pls take it to a counsellor or authority figure. 7months is far too long...too too long for a couple to stay apart

OK thanks. I thought as much. I felt it was too long a time for one to get back to active sex life. we talked about it again and she said she is scared it may cause damage or rupture Internal structures. all efforts to show her materials from the internet didn't sink in. I guess I will go as far as my resolve can carry me.

greatnaija01:
Bro... is there no Marriage counselor who handled you both before marriage? was there no marriage class?

there actually was a marriage class and a counselor. it feels queer meeting him over issues like this but I think I will give it a shot. tnx Bro

Benita27:
She didn't just put to bed, she had a C-section. Did you also google that?.

i did just that. 7 months is enough time to heal from research online. Im a very considerate person and will never put anyone in harm's way.

Benita27:
Oga, I'm not a married woman nor a mother but I think my input shouldn't be strictly based on these your criteria.

Actually, your wife has a low sex-drive and there are tones of things you could both engage in to arouse her interest in sex 'cause whether she likes it or not; sex is an integral part of any union if it must survive. That being said, you're overreacting since she had a C-section. You should give her time to heal very well 'cause sex when the wound hasn't heal properly could cause an eruption. Ask her doctor when they think it's ok for her to have sex. Talk to her about what you don't like about her sex life I guess she will adjust with time.

there was a reason why I specified those criteria. firstly, I want mum's with real experience to share at what time they got back into active sex after child birth.
I have done my research online (mom center) and most female respondents said six weeks as suggested by their care giver. I want to know what naija mum's here will say.
matter of fact, I'm not even disturbing here anymore.
tnx for your response

greatnaija01:
in my case it was her parents and church counselors i reported to o. AND IT WORKED.

I wish I can do that but I'm a private person. secondly, my pastor is too free with his mouth sometimes

I am a married man with a job in the financial sector. My wife also works too. I decided to put this here because I want married ladies/mum to comment on this and advise me if I'm going overboard.
we have been married for over three years now and have a little son whom I adore do much. My wife has never really loved the act of love making. she is never really an initiator in matters like this. I have the one to always initiate the move and this is quite exasperating. was we manage to get down to the act, she responds warmly.
Before we got married, I noticed she doesn't really like sex. I'm a guy that enjoys stuffs like that- romance, intimacy and the whole baggages. initially I thought it was just because we were still courting and she didn't want to let go completely so I thought she would finally relax when we get married, but I was wrong.
fast forward to present time. our baby is almost eight months old and we have not done it. she keep giving one excuse about us having to wait for her to heal properly ( she delivered through C. section). sometimes,it's just that she is not in the mood. during the pregnancy, we did it just once. not because she wanted it but because some old woman somewhere adviced her that it will ease labor and delivery.
Now I'm looking down into the future wondering if this is how bleak its gonna be for me sex-wise. she is probably waiting for our baby's one year birthday for me to come and do my conjugal right and impregnate her again then we go back to the status quo. I have talked to her before about this and she just mentioned casually that I am free to go out and satisfy myself. I'm a man that love intimacy and sex. Sometimes, I missed my past affairs. The cuddling, intimacy and the real deal. My wife doesn't care about all these. it's just like I'm living with a room mate and the matter is getting worse.
Ladies in the house, sorry for this long epistle, but I'm I demanding for sex too soon(8 month after she put to bed)? what do you advice I do.